12.22.08

SHOW PREP DECEMBER 22, 2008

 

HOLLYWOOD 411 . . .

 

Angie Harmon and husband Jason Sehorn welcomed their third daughter Thursday, a rep for the actress tells PEOPLE exclusively. Emery Hope Sehorn is “a healthy baby girl,” according to the rep. The newest addition joins sisters Finley Faith, 5, and Avery Grace, 3. Former NFL player Sehorn, 37, told PEOPLE in September, “Our two girls are very excited. If it’s a girl, God bless her, [they] will beat her down out of love.” If Harmon’s description of their household before Emery’s arrival was any indication, the Sehorn family is gearing up for a wild winter. “Our house sounds like a Justin Timberlake concert,” the actress, 36, told PEOPLE in September. “From the time they get up to the moment they go to bed, there is screaming and squealing.” (People)

 

It’s another boy for Mexico’s Grammy-winning singer Luis Miguel and his wife, Mexican actress Aracely Arambula. A news release posted on the singer’s Web site says the healthy, 7.7-pound boy was born Thursday. It did not reveal the baby’s name. The couple’s first son, Miguel, is 18 months old. Luis Miguel has sold more than 55 million albums, winning five Grammy and four Latin Grammy awards During his quarter-century career, he has been linked to a slew of female stars, including singer Mariah Carey and model Daisy Fuentes. (Daily Record)

 

First comes marriage, then comes baby, then comes…wedding reception? Jessica Alba and her husband of seven months, Cash Warren, are resting today after throwing a long-overdue wedding reception last night at their Beverly Hills home, according to Usmagazine.com. The newlyweds’ families and friends arrived at their home before 7 p.m. to formally celebrate the superstealthy May 19 nuptials. One extraspecial party guest was the couple’s 6-month-old daughter, Honor Marie, who was reportedly decked out in a gray dress with little angel wings attached. Alba, 27, and Warren, 29, quietly exchanged vows in a Beverly Hills courthouse just a few weeks before Jessica gave birth. The couple met in 2004 on the set of Fantastic Four and announced their pregnancy and engagement in December 2007. (Eonline)

 

Britney Spears could be set to trump hotel heiress Paris Hilton – she is reportedly dating the socialite’s ex, Benji Madden. The Toxic hitmaker is said to have grown close to the Good Charlotte rocker after they were introduced to each other by Spears’ manager Larry Rudolph following Madden’s break up from Hilton, according to reports in the U.S. A source tells In Touch Weekly magazine that the pair shared dinner at a Los Angeles hotel, and have seen each other several times since. The unnamed source adds: “They’ve been on a few dates. She appears to like Benji a lot, and he seems to really like her.” Madden split from Hilton last month after a nine-month relationship.  (Teen Hollywood)

 

Jermaine Dupri wants to clear up some misconceptions. In an entry on his blog, the music producer says he and girlfriend Janet Jackson haven’t split up – and she isn’t pregnant. Dupri writes: “As you all know Janet is a very private person … the only reason you see her as much as you do on my YouTube blog is because of me. LOL. But I hear yall and your questions. … No she is not pregnant and yes we’re still together.” Jackson and Dupri have been dating for about four years. Dupri also writes: “It baffles me how yall let these blog and magazines control your lifes.” Jackson canceled a string of concerts on her Rock Witchu tour this fall because of a bout of migraine-associated vertigo, which is characterized by dizziness, imbalance and other symptoms. (Daily Record)

Sarah Jessica Parker has been supporting her Sex And The City: The Movie co-star Jennifer Hudson while she grieves for her murdered family – insisting the singer/actress is “surviving.” The Dreamgirls star cancelled all of her public engagements after her mother, Darnell Donerson, and brother, Jason Hudson, were found shot dead at their home in Chicago, Illinois in October. Hudson’s nephew Julian King, seven, was found dead three days later. Parker, who acted alongside the star in this year’s hit movie, is adamant that she is there for Hudson if she ever needs a friend. She tells U.S. talkshow host Larry King, “I have been in touch with her, just wanting her to know that any little or big thing I can do – I think those of us who love her want to be there for her, to the degree that it’s appropriate. I don’t know her very well, so it’s a delicate situation. You don’t want to intrude on a person. But I just keep reminding her that I’m here, whatever that might mean to her. And it’s an unthinkable situation, really. Unthinkable.” And Parker is sure that Hudson will be able to recover from the crisis, as she is such a strong-willed woman. (Teen Hollywood)

 

Harry Potter actress Emma Watson feels sorry for superstars such as Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, because she loves living “a normal life”. The star shot to fame aged just 11 but hasn’t let it go to her head, preferring to concentrate on her work rather than living the showbiz lifestyle. She says, “I have a more normal life than people expect. When I take public transport, people are like, ‘That girl looks like the girl from Harry Potter, but it can’t be her on the train’. I get stopped by people, but that’s fine. I’d never want to be so famous that I couldn’t live a normal life to a certain extent.” And the thought of being too famous to go out unrecognised terrifies the teenage actress. She adds, “I can’t imagine anything lonelier, just not being able to be part of the real world and being trapped and locked in hotel rooms and cars.”  (Teen Hollywood)

 

Paris Hilton always knew she was destined for fame – because her grandmother has likened her to Marilyn Monroe ever since she was a child. The socialite was born into a life of luxury, and even now the 27-year-old is convinced she was always meant to be a notorious blonde. She says, “I was the oldest granddaughter. Everyone was so excited that I was born, they would always take pictures of me. “My grandma would call me Marilyn Monroe or Grace Kelly. Ever since I was little, it’s what I knew I wanted to do – be a blonde icon.”  (Teen Hollywood)

 

Actress Emma Watson has “no need” for the millions she has made from acting, because her life isn’t motivated by money. The Harry Potter star gained access to a $15 million fortune when she turned 18 in April, but the teenager hasn’t been splashing the cash. And, because of her financial independence, the star can afford to be picky about her future film roles. She says, “The wealth side of it hasn’t hit me yet because I have no need for money in my life. My life will not be motivated by money. “I will never do a film because they’re going to pay me a certain amount of money. It’s liberating. It means I can hopefully make great choices.” (Teen Hollywood)

 

Sorry, ladies, but it looks like Kevin Federline is off the market! The former rapper, Britney Spears ex and part-time fertility god was spotted Thursday night at Tao Las Vegas “talking to a blond girl all night,” says a club source. And who might this young fair-haired beauty be…? Our Sin City source says it is K-Fed’s new girlfriend, volleyball player Victoria Prince.  Prince, 26, attends the University of Hawaii and was named to the American Volleyball Coaches Association Second-Team All-American squad in 2005. The striking, or at least spiking six-footer was born in Richland, Wash., and currently lives in Honolulu. Our source says that Federline, 30, who wore jeans and a white shirt, arrived at the club around 12:30 a.m. and spent the entire evening chatting up Prince. The couple sat at the owner’s private table with a group of eight friends drinking Patrón and listening to the DJ while watching Tao’s “Bad Santa” dancers perform. It’s a long way from “Jingle Bells” to wedding bells, but it looks like K-Fed has started taking baby steps. Let’s just hope for her sake that he’s not taking any more baby-daddy steps. (Eonline)

 

Coldplay singer Chris Martin has laughed off rumors he and wife Gwyneth Paltrow are having marriage problems. Chris Martin has joked about rumors that he and wife Gwyneth Paltrow are experiencing problems with their marriage. Insiders have claimed the parents-of-two are on the verge of splitting due to the amount of time apart their respective careers demand. “I’m trying to think of when the last bit of bad news was,” Chris told Contact Music. “Well there hasn’t been anything for a while. I’m supposed to be getting divorced but those things aren’t happening so don’t really count as bad news.” However, Chris could find himself in the dog house over some of his recent comments. “Girls Aloud are my favorite girls in the world, aside from my wife and daughter, of course! But they definitely come third to eighth,” Showbiz Spy quote Chris saying. “Do I have a favorite girl? I’d hate to risk splitting them up.” (Handbag)

 

Friends have claimed Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s marriage is in trouble. Jennifer Lopez and husband Marc Anthony’s marriage is on the rocks friends have told Us Weekly magazine. The couple married in 2005 and had twins, Max and Emme, earlier this year but sources claim the relationship has soured recently. “He’s very, very controlling of her. The skirts aren’t as short. You don’t see so much of that booty anymore.” The friend explained. “Jennifer looked around and said, ‘This is my life now? I’m a Long Island housewife?’ She hates that everything she worked for went down the tubes.” Before adding that Marc isn’t best pleased either, “One night after their tense family Thanksgiving in which the couple ‘didn’t sit together,’ Anthony hit NYC hotspots Bungalow 8 and Marquee, where he was spotted with his hand on a woman’s thigh and overheard complaining about his wife to a group of women, ‘telling them, ‘She’s making me miserable.’” (Handbag)

 

Mike “Mad Dog” Bell, a former professional wrestler whose struggle with substance abuse was featured in the documentary “Bigger, Stronger, Faster,” has died. He was 37. Bell was found Sunday at a Costa Mesa live-in rehabilitation facility, his family said. An autopsy was conducted but investigators couldn’t immediately determine the cause of death, said Dan Akin, a supervising deputy at the Orange County coroner’s division. The coroner is awaiting the results of toxicology tests, he said. Chris Bell, whose 2008 documentary examines the steroid use of his two brothers, said Mike Bell had long battled with his addictions to prescription painkillers and alcohol. “He was always wrestling, he was a personal trainer, he was always pushing his body to the max,” Chris Bell told the Orange County Register. “You can’t really blame wrestling, but it’s kind of the lifestyle,” he said. “You have a couple of painkillers to get to the next match, have a couple drinks night to night and it gets out of hand.” Bell wrestled on World Wrestling Entertainment’s “Monday Night Raw” as a “jobber,” a fighter who takes falls to promote others. “Although Mr. Bell was never under a WWE contract, WWE extends its deepest condolences to the Bell family,” the organization said. (Daily Record)

 

 

THE OTHER STUFF . . .

 

Tis the season for red-capped Santa’s and red-nosed reindeers. Sleigh bells ringing and snowflakes glistening. Stockings carefully hung and yuletide carols being sung … in an airport terminal. With a karaoke machine. Ho-ho-ho, hold that flight. There’s a holiday surprise for travelers – and aspiring performers – passing through Houston’s Bush Intercontinental Airport this month. There it is, just past the security checkpoint, set atop a small stage: a karaoke machine adorned with Christmas lights and stockings shaped like cowboy boots. There’s even a team of Christmas elves – airport employees the rest of the year. “A little holiday karaoke while you wait? It’s fun and it’s free,” cooed Ashley Thompson. “You could be a star.” This is the first year the airport has included holiday-themed karaoke among its array of seasonal musical entertainment, which includes school choirs and local bands. The karaoke booth is being set up five times around the airport this month. On a Thursday morning just after a rare snowfall had frosted Houston, the holiday spirit – or perhaps, the thrill of performing in front of strangers – was strong among airport employees and travelers with time to kill. One after another, crooners stepped up to the microphone and belted out holiday classics – each putting their own mark on the melodies. A tiny boy in a Goofy T-shirt squeaked out a rendition of “Feliz Navidad,” with his mother kneeling by his side singing harmony. A dark-haired songstress vamped her way through a coquettish “Santa Baby.” A pair of blonde-haired gymnasts opened their version of “Jingle Bells” with synchronized handstands. “I would do that but I haven’t stretched yet,” joked Jeff Zimbelman, 26, as he took the stage to perform “O Holy Night.” As Zimbelman’s pitch-perfect voice lilted through the terminal, harried travelers rushing through metal detectors stopped, stared and smiled, and a crowd gathered around the stage. Zimbelman, an insurance adjuster from Sacramento, Calif., said he loves karaoke, but usually performs at a bar, and only after a few drinks. “Doing this in the middle of an airport is kinda … different,” said Zimbelman, returning home after four months in Houston working with victims of Hurricane Ike. “But this is kind of neat. Every airport should do something like this.” Airport employee Rob Mason came up with the idea and offered the use of a karaoke machine he takes to his mother’s nursing home. The silver-haired, velvet-voiced Mason also serves as emcee for the festivities, which he attends outfitted in a tuxedo and bow tie. “It’s so cool we can sing snow songs in Houston,” Mason intoned as he introduced a trio of blue-suited businessman, Mike Allen, Brian Evetts and Jeff Steel. “Welcome aboard, gentleman. Welcome to the stage.” The three Dallas-area T-Mobile employees, on a day trip to Houston for business, lined up sheepishly behind the microphones and launched into “Frosty the Snowman.” “Thumpety thump thump. Thumpety thump thump,” they sang, breaking into chuckles at the lyrics. “Look at Frosty go. Thumpety thump thump. Thumpety thump thump.” “I did some coercing of my co-workers to get them up there. We don’t usually do karaoke. And after other people hear us, they know why,” Steel said after stepping off the stage. “This really lightens up holiday travel.” For Nancy Flood, a flight attendant for Republic Air, the karaoke was welcome entertainment as her flight to Philadelphia was more than four hours late and there was no sign it would depart anytime soon. She settled down to watch the karaoke and signed up to sing “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” “There’s no better thing I’ve seen in any airport, and I’ve been everywhere,” said Flood, 48. “In this economy, there is nothing better than seeing smiles like this. It shouldn’t just be for Christmas.” (Daily Record)

 

Yep, we’ve got a word for stars who really like to keep the “celeb” in cause célèbre. And you could look it up, because it’s right there in our new Celebrity Addictionary. We call those good folks actorvists, like lovely Hayden Panettiere above doing her bit for sea mammals or Brad Pitt helping out Katrina victims with his Make It Right project. Which got us to thinking: If actorvists get all this groovy positive publicity for their actorvism, what’s a good word for the opposite type of attention? I just cooked up one and added it to the Addictionary: train-wreckognition, which I defined as “getting publicity or attention for all the wrong reasons” and gave this usage example: “At this point in his alleged career, train-wreckognition is better than no recognition at all for Andy Dick.” (Eonline)

 

Former Guns N’ Roses drummer Steven Adler is going to spend more time in rehab. A court commissioner in Los Angeles agreed Friday to place Adler in a state-sanctioned drug rehabilitation program and keep Adler out of prison. Adler’s court appearance came a day after TV audiences watched him graduate from a drug-treatment program that is the focus of VH1’s show “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.” Adler missed a court appearance last week, but told the court on Friday that he had been in another rehab program that he completed just earlier in the day. Los Angeles police arrested the rocker in July. He was charged with felony drug possession and a misdemeanor count of being under the influence of drugs. Adler will remain on probation while he tries to complete the state program. (Daily Record)

 

X Factor winner Leona Lewis has been named Person of the Year by animal rights group PETA. Leona Lewis has been named Person of the Year by animal rights campaigners People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Leona is a staunch anti-animal cruelty believer; she’s been vegetarian since she was 12 years-old and refuses to wear any product that contains fur or leather. “Leona Lewis is admired for her beautiful voice,” PETA’s European Director Robbie LeBlanc said when announcing the award. “But it’s her kindness to animals that makes her a superstar in our book.” Earlier this year Leona was claimed to have turned down Harrods’ offer of £1million to open their summer sale as they are the only UK department store to still stock fur. (Handbag)

 

Los Angeles police say they are investigating a burglary at a home owned by socialite Paris Hilton. Los Angeles Police Officer Julianne Sohn says the break-in occurred around 5 a.m. Friday at a home in the Sherman Oaks area of Los Angeles. Sohn says detectives report that a man wearing a hooded sweat shirt broke into the home and ransacked Hilton’s bedroom. Hilton was not at home at the time. No arrests have been made and police say the investigation continues. (Daily Record)

 

 

LAST WEEK:

 

Katie Holmes spent her 30th birthday performing in the Broadway revival of Arthur Miller’s All My Sons – but her big day did not go unnoticed. As the curtain fell Thursday, the cast and crew presented her with a specially-made birthday cake, a surprise orchestrated by none other than Tom Cruise.  Addressing the audience, Holmes’s costar John Lithgow announced, “Tom Cruise, our good friend, devoted fan to the show, doting husband of Katie, could not be here tonight. He’s heartsick that he couldn’t be here … but he wanted to make his presence felt. So, he’s joining us, inviting all of you, to celebrate Katie’s birthday.”  And with that, crewmembers wheeled out a five-tiered, white-frosted, circular birthday cake as the crowd cheered and applauded. “I planned it so that when she comes out for the standing ovation, John [would] get the whole audience to wish her a happy birthday,” Cruise – who was in Los Angeles to premiere his new film, Valkyrie – told PEOPLE, just as the surprise was sprung. “It’s going to be great,” he said, adding that they’d already had a private celebration the night before. (“That was the big one,” he noted.) Suri Helped, Too A genuinely surprised Holmes, who had been celebrating her birthday all week long, brought her 2-year-old daughter Suri on to the stage as the cast – including Dianne Wiest and Patrick Wilson – encouraged the entire audience to sing “Happy Birthday.” Together, the mother-daughter duo blew out the candles.  Speaking softly, Holmes graciously thanked the audience, saying, “Thank you for coming out to the show tonight. It was a real pleasure.” The cast and crew then disappeared offstage, where they enjoyed dessert and champagne, courtesy of Cruise. Meanwhile, across the country, the Top Gun was waiting anxiously to hear how his elaborate plan played out. “I’m waiting to talk to her now,” he said, “to see her reaction.” (People)

 

Every home should have a built-in party space. Paris Hilton tells Esquire about her place in Los Angeles: “The best thing I’ve ever bought with money is my house. Having a nightclub in your house really helps for having a party.” Leonardo DiCaprio apparently agrees. He and Kevin Connolly hit her place the other night for some “drinking and chilling out.” DiCaprio “was on his BlackBerry most of the night,” said our spy, possibly with girlfriend Bar Refaeli, who was not at the shindig. (Page Six)

 

Calvin Klein heiress and “Saturday Night Live” producer Marci Klein is having a rough holiday season. We hear Klein and her sexy model husband, Scott Murphy, are on the rocks, and “have been in the process of splitting up for the past few months.” The couple, who married in 2000 and have two sons, live in a $10 million apartment on Mercer Street. A spokesperson for the family declined comment. (Page Six)

 

Hugh Hefner says he’s thinking twice about letting his ex Kendra Wilkinson get away. “There may be a moment at the ceremony when I have second thoughts…may have to negotiate this,” Hefner told E!’s Daily 10 Thursday. The Playboy mogul announced earlier that he’d be walking his ex down the aisle for her June nuptials to Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett.  (Although he must not be too torn up over losing Wilkinson: “Nothing has been the same” since the “two very lovely twins [ Karissa and Kristina Shannon, 19] walked into my life,” he said.) “We’re going to have Kendra’s wedding and reception at the mansion — a spectacular affair!” he told Usmagazine.com at the 55th anniversary Playmate celebration in West Hollywood Dec. 15. Wilkinson will officially move out the Playboy mansion this week, added Bridget Marquardt, who will serve as one of her bridesmaids (along with Holly Madison). Marquardt told Us she wants to assist Wilkinson in choosing a dress. “I’m just not home that much, but I’m trying to help her out as much as possible,” said Marquardt, who added that the ceremony will be filmed for their E! series. Marquardt admitted that since Hef’s new girlfriends moved in, “the feeling of the mansion is completely different. Not in a bad way, just totally different.” (US Weekly)

 

Ben Affleck just doesn’t think Angelina Jolie has the star power necessary to be a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations.  At least that’s what he joked about at the press conference for his short movie, Gimme Shelter, in NYC on Wednesday. “UNHCR has to find a goodwill ambassador who will get the attention of the president because the woman they’ve got is not high profile enough,” Affleck said. Jolie, who has been the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees goodwill ambassador since early 2001, has worked with field staff and met with refugees in more than 20 countries.  Like Jolie, Affleck has tried to use his star power to enlighten the public on important global causes.  “One of the things about being an actor is that I’ve had the opportunity to be exposed to really smart people,” he said. “People have been really generous. I expose myself to those people and say, ‘Help me learn about this,’ and I’ve given myself a great post-graduate experience in this arena.” His film, a four-minute humanitarian campaign for victims of the fighting in Eastern Congo, is set to the Rolling Stone song of the same name. (US Weekly)

 

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer showed off a rare public display of affection, strolling arm-in-arm in New York City Thursday night.  Aniston, 39, smiled as she snuggled up to Mayer, 31, as he greeted photographers. The two — who wore matching black jackets and jeans — then dashed into La Esquina, where Kelly Ripa was also dining with husband Mark Consuelos. While walking, he plugged her new movie Marley & Me (see TMZ.com video). “I’m happy to report the movie is completely in focus,” he told photographers as Aniston laughed. “I want everyone to know that.” Then he joked that he and Aniston were walking all the way to Harlem. “90 more blocks, guys!” he teased photographers. “90 more blocks!” On Friday, she said on CBS’ The Early Show, “It’s my time … You don’t know as much as you know in your 20s as you do in your 30s as you do when you are… I’m starting’ to live. It’s good!” Though she didn’t talk about Mayer then, she told David Letterman on Wednesday that she met the singer at a Hollywood party thrown by CAA agent Bryan Lourd. “He was lovely on your show,” she also said of Mayer’s Thanksgiving performance, calling it “beautiful. It really kicked off the holiday sprit.” In January’s GQ, Aniston said she and Mayer “care deeply for each other, and we’re just trying to figure it out.” Aniston also said in December’s Vogue that people need to “mind their own business” when it comes to their relationship. “Did you ever think Claudia Schiffer and David Copperfield made sense?” she said. “Love just shows up.” (US Weekly)

 

Here comes the bride! A little more than a year after getting engaged, Fergie and Josh Duhamel will tie the knot in a January wedding ceremony, according to Access Hollywood.  The couple will say “I Do!” during the weekend of January 9-11 in Southern California, a source revealed to Access. Fergie, 33, and Duhamel, 35, were recently photographed at a Crate and Barrel in Beverly Hills, where they scanned kitchen items. But Duhamel told TMZ.com they were registering for “Christmas gifts,” not wedding presents. “It’s all going great. It’s fun, actually,” Duhamel recently told Entertainment Tonight of planning their wedding. “We’re both really excited about it and it will be good.” Where would they go after getting hitched? Possibly Canada. “This would actually be a great honeymoon place,” he said. “I would love to take her here.” (US Weekly)

 

Spotted: Avril Lavigne and her “good friend” Brandon Davis at an after-hours party at a private residence in Beverly Hills on Thursday night. Her troll husband was nowhere to be seen. Very interesting! (Perez Hilton)

 

Looks like Daddy Spears and manager Larry Rudolph are trying to find a playmate for Britney Spears, or so the tabs would like us to believe. The pair have reportedly compiled a list of potential suitors, which includes Chace Crawford, Jesse Metcalfe, and Golden Boy Michael Phelps. Michael Don’t-look-at-the-face Phelps? Really? Hasn’t she already been through enough? But it seems that the winner so far is Paris’ freshly ex-ed Benji Madden, who expressed the most interest when Brit’s handlers called around. Rebound much? The pair allegedly went on a date, meeting for dinner at a Los Angeles hotel suite. However, sources close to Britney and Paris reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com that Madden and Spears are not dating and have never even been on a date. So there you have it! (Perez Hilton)

 

What a bad way to spend the holidays! Brian Litrell from the Backstreet Boys is having a rough few days. Unfortunately for the singer, his baby boy, Baylee Litrell, is ill. Brian has taken to his official website to share the sad news. Says the BSB member: For those of you who do not know or have not heard, Baylee Litrell has been in the hospital for the past few days. He will be starting a treatment this afternoon and the Littrell family asks that all Backstreet Boys fans please remember him in prayer during this trying time. Every little prayer helps and every single prayer counts! Brian and Leighanne would also like to wish you all Happy Holidays and thank for your thoughts and prayers…. More information will follow and we will definitely keep you all updated…..  Let’s hope and pray Baylee gets well soon! (Perez Hilton)

 

LAPD sources tell TMZ Paris Hilton’s Hollywood Hills home was broken into this morning. According to cops, a man in a hooded sweatshirt forced entry into her front door and ransacked her bedroom. Preliminary reports indicate $2 mil in jewelry and other belongings were taken. The police say Hilton was not home at the time. Story developing … (TMZ)

 

Cue the bongos: Matthew McConaughey is ready for another baby. Although he and girlfriend Camila Alves welcomed Levi into the world just six months ago, In Touch is reporting “Matt would love to have more babies, but Camila wants to hold off a bit.” Camila recently told the magazine, “after 60 hours of labor, I’m taking it one day at a time.” (Scoop)

 

“Friday Night Lights” star Minka Kelly and Yankee Derek Jeter have done their best to keep their romance — which began in the middle of 2008 — under the radar. But according to an “insider” who spoke to In Touch magazine, the couple is looking for a home in the L.A. area. “They’re serious but very private,” the magazine reports. “Derek stays at Minka’s condo when he’s in town, but it’s pretty tiny so they need more space, and that’s why they’re house shopping.” (Scoop)

 

Things are definitely heating up between Amanda Bynes and Hills dude Doug Reinhardt, as their seemingly out-of-nowhere relationship has gone from supposed sleepovers to a romantic rendezvous in the Bahamas. The newly dating duo have been enjoying a little vacay all week at the Cove Atlantis resort, but according to sources there, they’ve spent most of their time in their suite because the weather has been largely overcast and windy. “I only saw them once at the pool,” a fellow resort guest tells E! News. “She was in her bikini and looked great.” While we’re certainly happy for you guys, all we ask is, please don’t contemplate a Speidi-like secret wedding. The holidays are coming up and we want to enjoy them in peace. Much appreciated. (Eonline)

 

DMX is preparing to travel during the holiday season — to another jail. His home away from home is currently the Miami-Dade County Jail, but DMX’s lawyer Bradford Cohen confirms the rapper is being extradited to Maricopa County Jail in Arizona at this very moment. Earlier this month, FBI agents captured the rapper on an island off Miami Beach over a bench warrant issued for a missed a court appearance. DMX also faces drug, identity theft and animal cruelty charges in Arizona, however — and now he’s going to have to face the music in the desert, too. BTW, we’re told Arizona cops plan to put X in pink handcuffs as a belated B-day present. (TMZ)

 

An employee of David Copperfield was hospitalized Wednesday with a broken arm after one of the illusionist’s tricks went awry on stage. The unidentified employee was assisting Copperfield during the “fan illusion” and got his arm caught in the fan. In the illusion, Copperfield appears to walk through the fan and disappear as he turns to smoke. The show, dubbed An Intimate Evening of Grand Illusion, took place in Las Vegas at MGM Grand’s Hollywood Theatre. “This is a trick David has done over 3,000 times,” executive producer Chris Kenner says. “This was a freak accident.” The show was stopped after the mishap, but it’s unlikely the crowd could get a clear view of the accident, Kenner says. “He is recovering,” Kenner says. “People are always saying that it’s magic and it isn’t dangerous. This goes to show you that it is.” Kenner said Copperfield will continue to perform the fan illusion in his shows. None of Copperfield’s shows at MGM Grand have been postponed due to the incident. (People)

 

Oprah Winfrey wants to be as close to Barack Obama as possible. Insiders say Winfrey has started a preliminary search for a home in Washington, DC. A nine-bedroom Georgetown mansion she’s said to have asked about is listed at $50 million, but another source said, “She has never personally been to see it.” We’re sure Winfrey will try to swing by during Inauguration week. Her rep didn’t return calls. (Page Six)

 

The Bernie Madoff disease has spread to St. Tropez. The Ponz Scum visited Club 55 every year and was treated as royalty by many patrons there, especially those who invested with him. “One regular would send him a bottle of champagne when he first arrived on holiday,” a Riviera source said. Combined with the Russian collapse, there’s more than a little fear on the Cote d’Azur. Just as in Palm Beach, some homeowners in the South of France mortgaged multimillion estates to invest with Madoff. Many of those properties will soon be up for sale. (Page Six)

 

The Hollywood Reporter, one of Tinseltown’s top trade publications, might be missing from the Sundance Film Festival next month. According to a Page Six source, writers for the Reporter are “in a tizzy” because “their expense accounts have been frozen and they can’t book rooms” in Park City, Utah. The problem with the Nielsen Media publication goes beyond the economic downtown that other media outlets are citing to justify cutbacks. Sources say Hollywood Reporter publisher Eric Mika, who started at his post last March, “burned through the company’s cash flying back and forth to Asia” where he has a close personal friend. “Mika’s contract is up at the end of the year, and those in the know suspect it is not going to be renewed.” A spokeswoman for Nielsen declined to comment. (Page Six)

 

Donald Trump Jr.’s pet pooches have an extra place to lift their legs this holiday season. He and his wife, Vanessa, tell Page Six Magazine in this Sunday’s Post that aside from erecting a big Christmas tree for themselves, they also got a smaller one for their two Havanese puppies, Fraggle and Faluffa. And yes, they know it’s kind of ridiculous. “Yeah, we get a little tree for the dogs because we’re idiots,” Don quips. (Page Six)

 

CC Sabathia, who just signed a seven-year, $161 million deal with the Yankees, leaving the Jumeirah Essex House on Central Park South to dine with Joba Chamberlain at Tao, where they got a standing ovation. (Page Six)

 

British comedian Russell Brand isn’t done picking on the Jonas Brothers. Who does he want to kiss on New Year’s? “I think all of the Jonas Brothers,” he told Usmagazine.com at the Los Angeles premiere of Bedtime Stories on Thursday. “But very gently and consensually.” At the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards in December, Brand (a confessed former sex addict) repeatedly joked in his opening monologue about the Jonas’ purity rings. He kidded that they should take advantage of their celeb status to get lucky. His remarks made American Idol Jordin Sparks so upset that she defended the boys on stage: “Not every guy and a girl wants to be a s—.” Brand later apologized. But the Jonas Brothers insist they have no beef with Brand. “For us it’s cool to see that he recognizes we are gentlemen,” Nick Jonas told BBC’s Radio 1. The actor being hit is Michael Copon — and in recent days, his page has been bombarded with messages like “He’s [Taylor's] done all the hard work and so deserves it,” “I don’t want you playing Jacob Black in New Moon because Taylor is perfect” and our personal favorite: “You’re a douche.” Facebook group devoted to bashing the actor has also been created — and so far the cyber-club, which calls itself “I REJECT Michael Copon as Jacob Black: SAVE TAYLOR NOW!” has already locked down 1,290 members. A rep for Copon was not immediately available for comment.  (US Weekly)

 

If you thought your vote doesn’t count, take note: The Minnesota Senator’s race is now being counted in the single digits, and it looks like Al Franken might pull it out. As the Huffington Post points out, Sen. Norm Coleman’s lead has now dwindled to two — yes, two — votes, and after a count of disputed ballots, Franken could have a lead of as much as 89 votes. Of course, the legal battle will probably go on and on and on. An Al win would give the Dems 59 seats in the Senate. (TMZ)

 

SAG president Alan Rosenberg assuaged fears that a SAG strike could cancel the Jan. 25 SAG awards, telling People magazine “(The strike) is not going to affect our show.” He added that SAG doesn’t “know whether we’ll go on strike or not” but that “people shouldn’t worry about it.” Shouldn’t worry about it? Perhaps we’re misinterpreting Rosenberg’s comments, but “shouldn’t worry about it” seems like a pretty cavalier attitude toward a potential work outage that could have an impact far beyond the cancellation of an awards show. Rosenberg went on to downplay the impact of the possible strike authorization, ballots for which go out Jan. 2, saying, “Nothing unusual about it. Nothing radical about it. We need this tool to get the employers to come back to the table and do us some good faith, which they haven’t done since the beginning of these negotiations.” (Scoop)

 

 

MUSIC . . .

 

Don’t get Katy Perry twisted: She absolutely loves being pop’s quirky poster girl, the wild child who doesn’t censor herself and causes raised eyebrows with songs like “Ur So Gay” and “I Kissed a Girl.” But for all her success over the last year, Perry is hoping that songs like her most recent No. 1, “Hot n Cold,” show she has more to offer than kitsch and controversy. “It’s my personality, which is up and down and sassy and cheeky,” says Perry, who recently became a Grammy nominee. “You’re gonna see me with all kinds of different things. Maybe you won’t expect it, but that’s what I like to do – keep people on their toes.” Offering the unexpected was a key factor in Perry becoming one of pop’s breakout stars this year. While “Ur So Gay” – a taunting song to an ex-lover more enamored with flatirons and skinny jeans than his ex-girlfriend – became an underground talker, it was her equally ear-catching song “I Kissed a Girl,” about girl-on-girl experimentation, that resonated with mainstream music fans, becoming a No. 1 summer smash. “She’s not scared to rattle some people’s cages lyrically, and say some risqué stuff,” says singer-songwriter Butch Walker, who collaborated with Perry on some of the tracks on her debut album, “One of the Boys.” “She brings a little bit of the underground, a little bit of the hipster and underground culture to the mainstream, and that’s what sells her … as different.” And that’s what Perry hoped her role in pop music would be. The 24-year-old, who was raised by ministers and dabbled in Christian music before heading to Los Angeles as a 17-year-old aspiring artist, found most of pop’s princesses to be manufactured and boring. “I was a bit let down by maybe their personality or their delivery or their consistency,” says Perry during an interview at her Capitol Records label offices. “They were so like careful with everything.” “Well, what’s the point of being in pop or rock ‘n’ roll music if you’re going to be a windup doll?” Perry says. “Use your own wheels and bolts, even if they break, do it yourself.” But Perry found that a colorful personality, strong voice and well-crafted songs didn’t guarantee her pop stardom, or even an album. Though she worked with top producers such as Glen Ballard and The Matrix, she bounced from label to label. (Blender magazine profiled her as one to watch in 2004.) “She was signed and dropped like twice before the record came out,” says Walker. “I was afraid that her career and those songs were never gonna see the light of day.” Even Perry wondered whether she should just give up. But her competition gave her hope. “Every time I thought maybe there was a girl that would take my place, I would watch her and I would kind of sit back and say, ‘Almost! No no no, there’s still a void!’” she recalls. Now that she’s come along to fill it, Perry looks back on her struggles as a badge of honor. “It’s like training,” she says. And she has this advice for those hoping to be the next Katy Perry: Find your own identity. “When I first started at 17 in Los Angeles, the hit song was ‘Complicated,’ and everyone wanted me to write a ‘Complicated,’” she says of Avril Lavigne’s early hit. “I’m like, ‘Look that’s her, this is me. Everybody loves that song – hopefully everyone will love my song.’” (Daily Record)

 

We finally have a date for the new U2 album!!!!! And a title! The band’s No Line On The Horizon is scheduled to be released in North America on Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009. This will be the group’s 12th album! Their last, How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, was released way back in 2004 and sold over nine million copies. The group recorded this album all over the world. They began last year in Fez, Morocco, and then did some work in their studio in Ireland. After that they recorded some of the tracks in New York and finally some in London. Let’s hope all the different locations helped inspire them. (Perez Hilton)

 

So you fancy yourself a singer, eh … alone, in your car, with the windows up, when no one’s looking. Well, now you can test your pipes against Martina McBride and Elvis Presley in private, and if you like what you hear, you can share them with your friends via email. As a promotion for “Elvis Presley Christmas Duets” album, Sony BMG Music Entertainment has created a Web site that allows you to record “Blue Christmas” as a duet with Presley, singing McBride’s part from the album. The site, http://www.singwiththeking.com, provides a phone number and access code so you can belt out your lines over the phone. If you’re pleased with the recording, you can send it in a Christmas ecard. Or, if you discover you sound more like Alvin and the Chipmunks than Presley and McBride, you can send the album version of the song instead. The whole thing is free. “Someone in our digital area came up with the concept,” said JJ Rosen, executive vice president of Sony BMG Music Entertainment’s Commercial Music Group. “It fits the duets concept of the album so well.” Because the campaign leans heavily on technology, Rosen said it brings Presley and his music to a younger generation. “We’re always trying to keep the Elvis brand alive.” The site launched Dec. 5 and has drawn 30,000 people from nine countries. It’s scheduled to end sometime in January. The promotion has been successful enough that Sony plans a similar one for Mariah Carey’s upcoming release “The Ballads” for Valentine’s Day. Given Carey’s vocal range, it could take some serious chops to keep up. “Dreamlover” anyone? (Launch)

 

Don’t get Katy Perry twisted: She absolutely loves being pop’s quirky poster girl, the wild child who doesn’t censor herself and causes raised eyebrows with songs like “Ur So Gay” and “I Kissed a Girl.” But for all her success over the last year, Perry is hoping that songs like her most recent No. 1, “Hot n Cold,” show she has more to offer than kitsch and controversy. “It’s my personality, which is up and down and sassy and cheeky,” says Perry, who recently became a Grammy nominee. “You’re gonna see me with all kinds of different things. Maybe you won’t expect it, but that’s what I like to do — keep people on their toes.” Offering the unexpected was a key factor in Perry becoming one of pop’s breakout stars this year. While “Ur So Gay” — a taunting song to an ex-lover more enamored with flatirons and skinny jeans than his ex-girlfriend — became an underground talker, it was her equally ear-catching song “I Kissed a Girl,” about girl-on-girl experimentation, that resonated with mainstream music fans, becoming a No. 1 summer smash. “She’s not scared to rattle some people’s cages lyrically, and say some risqué stuff,” says singer-songwriter Butch Walker, who collaborated with Perry on some of the tracks on her debut album, “One of the Boys.” “She brings a little bit of the underground, a little bit of the hipster and underground culture to the mainstream, and that’s what sells her … as different.” And that’s what Perry hoped her role in pop music would be. The 24-year-old, who was raised by ministers and dabbled in Christian music before heading to Los Angeles as a 17-year-old aspiring artist, found most of pop’s princesses to be manufactured and boring. “I was a bit let down by maybe their personality or their delivery or their consistency,” says Perry during an interview at her Capitol Records label offices. “They were so like careful with everything.” “Well, what’s the point of being in pop or rock ‘n’ roll music if you’re going to be a windup doll?” Perry says. “Use your own wheels and bolts, even if they break, do it yourself.” But Perry found that a colorful personality, strong voice and well-crafted songs didn’t guarantee her pop stardom, or even an album. Though she worked with top producers such as Glen Ballard and The Matrix, she bounced from label to label. (Blender magazine profiled her as one to watch in 2004.) “She was signed and dropped like twice before the record came out,” says Walker. “I was afraid that her career and those songs were never gonna see the light of day.” Even Perry wondered whether she should just give up. But her competition gave her hope. “Every time I thought maybe there was a girl that would take my place, I would watch her and I would kind of sit back and say, ‘Almost! No no no, there’s still a void!’” she recalls. Now that she’s come along to fill it, Perry looks back on her struggles as a badge of honor. “It’s like training,” she says. And she has this advice for those hoping to be the next Katy Perry: Find your own identity. “When I first started at 17 in Los Angeles, the hit song was ‘Complicated,’ and everyone wanted me to write a ‘Complicated,’” she says of Avril Lavigne’s early hit. “I’m like, ‘Look that’s her, this is me. Everybody loves that song — hopefully everyone will love my song.’” (Launch)

 

There are a few things you can expect from any Metallica concert. You’ll hear “Enter Sandman.” Lars Ulrich will take every opportunity he can to get up from his drum kit and goad the audience. Whoever’s running the pyrotechnics will get plenty of chances to set the stage on fire. All of that happened during the band’s two-hour set in Los Angeles on Wednesday, the first of two nights at the venerable Forum arena. But there was plenty of new stuff to get excited about too. Tracks from the band’s recent chart-topper “Death Magnetic” figured heavily in the set list, and several of them were highlights. Watching singer/guitarist James Hetfield as he threw himself into the deep grooves of “Broken, Beat & Scarred” and “Cyanide” brought out their visceral qualities, not so apparent from the studio versions. Hetfield, lead guitarist Kirk Hammett and bassist Robert Trujillo marauded around the Forum’s huge stage — smack dab in the center of the venue, theater-in-the-round style — with boundless energy, banging out decades-old favorites like “Master of Puppets” and “Harvester of Sorrow” with the vigor of a group playing them for the first time. And oh, the spectacle! There was the light show, projected onto the stage via a set of gigantic coffin-shaped rigs, suspended high above the band, and the black beach balls that poured from the ceiling during the final encore, “Seek and Destroy.” Surely Ulrich’s revolving drum riser by itself justified the need to charge $30 for a beanie and $40 for a t-shirt. There were multi-colored flames shooting out of the stage during the climactic machine-gun section of “One.” But the real pyrotechnics came from Hammett, who peeled off recklessly whammy-full solos on “The End of the Line” and “Sad But True,” and took the spotlight for a bluesy solo interlude that introduced “Nothing Else Matters.” Absent from Metallica’s set was material from its last three original studio albums, “Load” (1996), “Reload” (1997) and “St. Anger” (2003), which spoke volumes about where the band is right now. Early on, Hetfield announced, “Metallica is alive and well and ready to kick some ass!” It was as much a rallying cry as a sideways acknowledgement that the band had lost its way, and was looking to find it again. Naturally, opinions will differ over whether “Death Magnetic” represents a return to form for Metallica, or whether a return to form is possible or even necessary. Based on the fan response to its live show, Metallica’s got nothing to worry about. The capacity crowd sang along to nearly every word, taking over the choruses of “Master of Puppets” and “Creeping Death” entirely. Adults and children of all ethnicities, bonding together to chant “Die! Die!” in fist-pumping unison? Such is the power of Metallica. (Launch)

 

In a positive sign for the 2009 touring season, sales for the upcoming Billy Joel/Elton John co-headlining tour are “through the roof,” according to Wilson Howard, president, Live Nation Music Southeast, who calls the tour “a smash.” The configuration for the upcoming tour, which begins March 2 in Jacksonville, Fla., is 360 degrees, significantly boosting capacity in the arenas. Tickets range from $49.50-$175. In addition to Jacksonville, the tour will play Tampa (March 5), Charlotte (7), Cincinnati (10), Atlanta (14), Tulsa, Okla. (17), Houston (19), San Antonio (21), Phoenix 26, and Anaheim (28, 30). Live Nation is promoting most of the shows on the tour, and AEG Live will promote in Anaheim, which has almost sold out the second show. Before the trek, Joel is set for a six-show run at the Seminole Hard Rock Live in Hollywood, Fla., spread out between Jan. 2 and Feb. 8. John has international shows on tap through late January, to be followed by a two-week engagement with his Red Piano show at Las Vegas’ Caesars Palace. (Billboard)

 

After a tumultuous year, particularly for its two lead singers, Barenaked Ladies are understandably “looking forward to seeing the ass end of 2008,” according to drummer Tyler Stewart — and to a 2009 in which the Canadian quintet will celebrate its 20th anniversary with a boxed set and, hopefully, some new music. Since the May release of its children’s album, “Snack Time,” the Canadian quintet has made headlines mostly on the non-musical front. Steven Page is serving six months’ probation after a July cocaine possession arrest in Fayetteville, N.Y. Ed Robertson, meanwhile, survived an August float plane crash and lost his mother, Wilma, on Dec. 13 to cancer.  “Adversity, if it doesn’t kill you it makes you strong, I guess,” Stewart tells Billboard.com. “We’ve rallied through adversity before. In some ways I’m looking forward to getting together and making some great music based on all these intense and emotional experiences. That’s when we feel the most alive, the most energetic.” Stewart says that progress on new music has been “gradual” but that “the guys have been working individually on stuff, and together.” He expects an early summer return to the studio but adds that “maybe we’ll get some inspiration and jump in before that.” Meanwhile, BNL — which has recorded a new version of the “Hockey Night in Canada” them for the TSN network — has been immersed in preparing a boxed set to celebrate the group’s 20th anniversary, unearthing “all kinds of crazy materials … tons and tons of songs and videos and snippets and live stuff.” Among the rarities are demos and unreleased songs, including a markedly different take of “The Old Apartment” and some “really complex stuff” written by former keyboardist Andy Creeggan. Stewart says the set will likely come out in the fall. “It’s a bit of a pat on the back,” the drummer notes, “like, ‘Hey, you’ve done a lot.’ But it’s also, ‘OK, now what else can we do? How can we move forward from here?’ because we feel like we’re not done yet by any means.” Stewart says BNL is planning a 20th anniversary tour, mostly likely for May. The group is ushering in 2009 at the Fox Theatre in Detroit and will host its third Ships and Dip Caribbean cruise in February. (Billboard)

 

The group representing the U.S. recording industry said Friday it has abandoned its policy of suing people for sharing songs protected by copyright and will work with Internet service providers to cut abusers’ access if they ignore repeated warnings. The move ends a controversial program that saw the Recording Industry Association of America sue about 35,000 people since 2003 for swapping songs online. Because of high legal costs for defenders, virtually all of those hit with lawsuits settled, on average for around $3,500. The association’s legal costs, in the meantime, exceeded the settlement money it brought in. The association said Friday that it stopped sending out new lawsuits and warnings in August, and then agreed with several leading U.S. Internet service providers, without naming which ones, to notify alleged illegal file-sharers and cut off service if they failed to stop. It credited the lawsuit campaign with raising awareness of piracy and keeping the number of illegal file-sharers in check while the legal market for digital music took off. With two weeks left in the year, legitimate sales of digital music tracks soared for the first time past the 1 billion mark, up 28 percent over all of last year, according to Nielsen Soundscan. “We’re at a point where there’s a sense of comfort that we can replace one form of deterrent with another form of deterrent,” said RIAA Chairman and Chief Executive Mitch Bainwol. “Filing lawsuits as a strategy to deal with a big problem was not our first choice five years ago.” The new notification program is also more efficient, he said, having sent out more notices in the few months since it started than in the five years of the lawsuit campaign. “It’s much easier to send notices than it is to file lawsuits,” Bainwol said. The decision to scrap the legal attack was first reported in The Wall Street Journal. The group says it will still continue to litigate outstanding cases, most of which are in the pre-lawsuit warning stage, but some of which are before the courts. The decision to press on with existing cases drew the ire of Harvard Law professor Charles Nesson, who is defending a Boston University graduate student targeted in one of the music industry’s lawsuits. “If it’s a bad idea, it’s a bad idea,” said Nesson. He is challenging the constitutionality of the suits, which, based on the Digital Theft Deterrence and Copyright Damages Improvement Act of 1999, can impose damages of $150,000 per infringement, far in excess of the actual damage caused. Nesson’s client, Joel Tenenbaum, faces the possibility of more than $1 million in damages for allegedly downloading seven songs illegally, which Nesson called “cruel and unusual punishment.” The case is set to go to trial in district court in Massachusetts on Jan. 22. Brian Toder, a lawyer with Chestnut & Cambronne in Minneapolis, who defended single mother Jammie Thomas in a copyright suit filed by the RIAA, said he is also set to retry the case March 9 after a judge threw out a $222,000 decision against her. “I think it’s a good thing that they’ve ended this campaign of going after people,” Toder said. “But they need to change how people spend money on records,” he said. “People like to share music. The Internet makes it so easy. They have to do something to change this business model of theirs.” (Daily Record)

 

 

MOVIE . . .

 

Movie audiences greeted Jim Carrey and Will Smith with a lukewarm “yes’ as snowstorms undermined weekend debuts from both stars. Carrey’s comedy “Yes Man” opened at No. 1 with $18.2 million in ticket sales, while Smith’s drama “Seven Pounds” came in second with $16 million, according to studio estimates Sunday. Debuting at No. 3 with $10.5 million was Matthew Broderick’s animated family flick “The Tale of Despereaux.” The new movies arrived in theaters Friday just as storms pounded the Northeast. “Those markets back east just got hammered,” said Chris Aronson, distribution executive for 20th Century Fox, whose sci-fi saga “The Day the Earth Stood Still” slipped from No. 1 to No. 4 with $10.2 million. The movie starring Keanu Reeves raised its 10-day total to $48.6 million. “Yes Man,” released by Warner Bros., stars Carrey as a loser who turns his life around by subscribing to a philosophy of saying “yes” to everything. Sony’s “Seven Pounds” casts Smith as a mysterious IRS agent doing good deeds for strangers, and Universal’s “Tale of Despereaux” features Broderick as the mouthpiece for a tiny mouse on a heroic mission. In limited release, Mickey Rourke’s acclaimed drama “The Wrestler” had a heavyweight debut, taking in $209,474 in just four theaters for a whopping average of $52,369. By comparison, “Yes Man” played in 3,434 theaters and averaged $5,288 per theater, while “Seven Pounds” opened in 2,758 and averaged $5,801 per theater. The No. 3 film “The Tale of Despereaux” played in 3,104 theaters and grabbed $3,385 per venue. The film released by Fox Searchlight stars Rourke as a former wrestling champion struggling for one last taste of past glory. The comeback theme of “The Wrestler” parallels Rourke’s real life, with the actor in the running for an Academy Award nomination after his bad boy behavior virtually ruined his career in the late 1980s and early 1990s. While winter came in with a bang, Hollywood’s solid year was going out with a whimper. The overall box office plunged for the second straight weekend as this season’s pre-holiday offerings continued to lag far behind the strong finish provided by such 2007 hits as Smith’s “I Am Legend” and “Alvin and the Chipmunks.” The top 12 movies took in $82.8 million, down 44 percent from the same weekend last year, when “National Treasure: Book of Secrets” led with $44.8 million. The last two ho-hum weekends have hindered Hollywood’s shot at breaking the domestic revenue record of $9.7 billion set last year. Revenues through Sunday were at $9.24 billion, virtually even with 2007 through the same date, according to box-office tracker Media By Numbers. Given the sour economy, studio executives generally are satisfied with this year’s results. Hollywood tends to ride out recessions with solid business, since movies are relatively inexpensive compared to entertainment options such as concerts or sports events. “The movie business may be recession-proof, but this weekend, it’s not weather-proof,” said Paul Dergarabedian, president of Media By Numbers. Estimated ticket sales for Friday through Sunday at U.S. and Canadian theaters, according to Media By Numbers LLC. Final figures will be released Monday. (Daily Record)

1. “Yes Man,” $18.2 million.

2. “Seven Pounds,” $16 million.

3. “The Tale of Despereaux,” $10.5 million.

4. “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” $10.2 million.

5. “Four Christmases,” $7.7 million.

6. “Twilight,” $5.2 million.

7. “Bolt,” $4.3 million.

8. “Slumdog Millionaire,” $3.2 million.

9. “Australia,” $2.3 million.

10. “Quantum of Solace,” $2.2 million.

 

Tom Cruise’s 13-year-old son will have a six-day jump on his father at the box office. Connor Cruise makes his big-screen debut in “Seven Pounds,” which opens Friday. On Dec. 25, his father’s “Valkyrie” hits theaters. It’s a small, supporting role for Connor, one of two children from Cruise’s marriage to Nicole Kidman. Cruise also has a daughter, Suri, with his wife, Katie Holmes. In a recent interview, Cruise said he’s very proud of Connor, but was careful not to pressure him. “Who knows what he’s going to do?” Cruise said. “He’s grown up on (acting). I’ve always had my kids there, in hair and makeup, just always around the sets. They’ve worked on sets.” Cruise said he’s played acting class games with his children, and they’ve often watched him develop characters. The 46-year-old actor said driving Connor to his audition for “Seven Pounds” was a “great father-son moment,” but the audition was more difficult. Cruise and the film’s star Will Smith, who are friends, were in the room when director Gabriele Muccino ordered them to leave. Said Cruise: “(Muccino) looked at me and Will, and Will and I were like, `How’s he doing?’ And the director just said, `Out!’ So we were standing in the hall for about half an hour or something, wondering, `What’s going on in there? What’s happening?’” But Connor got the part. He plays a young Ben Thomas, Smith’s character, in the movie. (Daily Record)

 

Matthew Broderick has vowed never to reprise his role in cult teen movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – because he is too old. The 1986 comedy – which shot Broderick to stardom – has recently been at the centre of a string of sequel rumours, with the actor tipped to star in a follow-up. But Broderick insists he has rejected a string of lucrative offers to make a second Ferris Bueller film, because he thinks that at 46 he wouldn’t be able to make the character believable. He says, “I can’t play young rebellious guys anymore.” (Teen Hollywood)

 

Comedian Eddie Murphy has been signed to play Batman’s nemesis The Riddler in the next Batman film insiders claim. Eddie Murphy has landed the role of The Riddler in next Batman film The Sun claims. “Eddie’s a fantastic addition. Everyone’s excited to see what he does as the Riddler,” An insider on the film said, adding,  “Chris (Nolan – the director) wasn’t sure if he wanted to do another movie but as soon as he decided to, he got the wheels in motion.” The third film in the re-imagined series is being put together under the working title of Gotham, is due for a 2010 release, Christian Bale will reprise his role as Bruce Wayne/Batman and will be joined by Shia LaBeouf who’ll play Robin the paper also claims. Hmmm. While Johnny Depp has been widely tipped to land the Riddler role Christopher Nolan has so far made no decision public on whether a third film is on the cards, let alone whether the Riddler will even be featured. When asked if he planned a sequel in October he told the LA Times, “I have to ask the question: How many good third movies in a franchise can people name?” (Handbag)

 

“THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR” — Brendan Fraser goes grave-digging again in this third installment of his action franchise, with Maria Bello taking over as his wife in the role originated by Rachel Weisz. This time out, the archaeologically minded couple head to China, where they battle a 2,000-year-old mummy (Jet Li) who comes back to life from a curse laid upon him by a sorceress (Michelle Yeoh). Two-disc DVD and Blu-ray sets pack deleted and extended footage, segments on casting, stunts and other behind-the-scenes matters and commentary with director Rob Cohen. The movie also comes in a single-disc DVD edition and in six-disc DVD and four-disc Blu-ray boxed sets with the entire “Mummy” trilogy. Single-disc DVD, $29.98; two-disc DVD set, $34.98; Blu-ray set, $39.98; DVD trilogy set, $59.98; Blu-ray trilogy set, $94.98. (Universal) “MAMMA MIA!” — ABBA songs are so enduring, even a former James Bond likes to croon them now and then. Meryl Streep and ex-007 Pierce Brosnan lead the cast in this adaptation of the stage musical that uses the infectious pop tunes of ABBA to knit together the story of a single mom and three old flames who make a surprise appearance at her daughter’s wedding. Single-disc and two-disc DVD releases and a two-disc Blu-ray set allow viewers to sing-along with the on-screen lyrics and also have a deleted musical number (“The Name of the Game”), plus commentary with director Phyllida Lloyd. The two-disc sets also come with deleted scenes, making-of segments and a digital copy of the movie for portable video players. Single-disc DVD, $29.98; two-disc DVD set, $34.98; Blu-ray set, $39.98. (Universal) “THE HOUSE BUNNY” — Anna Faris is a Playboy bunny who gets booted out of the mansion but finds a new home with a campus sorority, a group of socially inept women who receive a makeover and learn how to deal with the world courtesy of their new “sister.” The DVD and Blu-ray have deleted scenes, a music video by co-star Katharine McPhee, segments on Faris and co-star Colin Hanks and featurettes on the costumes and makeup that went into the production. DVD, $28.96; Blu-ray, $39.95. (Sony) “TRAITOR” — Don Cheadle stars as a former Special Forces expert now suspected of involvement in a series of terrorist bombings, with Guy Pearce as a federal agent leading a task force in pursuit. Cheadle joins director Jeffrey Nachmanoff for audio commentary, while the DVD and Blu-ray also have featurettes on stunts, special effects and the film’s international locations. The Blu-ray release also comes with a digital copy of the movie. DVD, $29.98; Blu-ray, $39.98. (Anchor Bay) “THE THIRD MAN,” “BOTTLE ROCKET,” “CHUNGKING EXPRESS,” “THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH” — The folks at Criterion have been masters of quality cinema for home video since the laserdisc days. They now move into the Blu-ray era with an eclectic mix of titles from their past DVD vaults. Leading the way is Carol Reed’s 1949 thriller “The Third Man,” with Joseph Cotten and Orson Welles. The first wave also includes Wes Anderson’s debut film with the offbeat heist romp “Bottle Rocket,” starring Owen and Luke Wilson; Wong Kar-Wai’s breakout romantic tale “Chungking Express”; and Nicolas Roeg’s cult sci-fi saga “The Man Who Fell to Earth,” starring David Bowie. Each film comes loaded with the sort of extras that make Criterion DVDs such premier releases. Blu-ray, $39.95 each. (Criterion)

TV ON DVD:

“PETTICOAT JUNCTION: THE OFFICIAL FIRST SEASON” — A widow, her three hot daughters and their rascally uncle lead the collection of oddballs at the Shady Rest Hotel in the tiny burgh of Hooterville. A five-disc set has the first 38 episodes of the comedy that debuted in 1963. DVD set, $42.99. (Paramount) “MR. BEAN: THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION” — A seven-disc set offers all things Bean, starting with the complete 14 episodes of Rowan Atkinson’s TV comedy featuring his strange, near-silent man-child of a hero. The set also includes the character’s two feature films, “Bean: The Movie” and “Mr. Bean’s Holiday,” plus episodes from the animated “Bean” series. DVD set, $69.95. (A&E) “GENERATION KILL” — Rolling Stone reporter Evan Wright’s book about his experiences covering the Iraq War is the basis for this miniseries that follows a Marine battalion in action. The three-disc set packs the seven-part series, plus commentary with Wright, cast and crew interviews and a segment with real-life Marines discussing their exploits in Iraq. DVD set, $59.99. (HBO) (Daily Record)

 

“Seven Pounds” is a complex, occasionally convoluted film, manipulative and sentimental but with a very good performance at its core, about … hmm. It’s almost impossible to say, as screenwriter Grant Nieporte and director Gabriele Muccino go to great lengths, playing with time while dropping small clues, to keep what’s really going on here a secret. I won’t spoil it. But it’s fair to say that it’s a film about redemption, about atoning for mistakes in extreme ways, about love and loss. And if that sounds like a generic recipe for melodrama, well, exactly. Yet Will Smith is so good in the central role of a man trying to redeem himself that it forgives many of the sins of the screenplay. Smith plays Ben Thomas, a man who is troubled, happy, despondent and industrious, depending on which version of him we see at the time. (Hint: unshaven equals unhappy.) In an early scene, Ben mercilessly berates a blind vegetarian telephone meat salesman (Woody Harrelson) for no apparent reason. He dodges calls from his brother (Michael Ealy), who makes cryptic references to something he’s missing that Ben might have. Ben obviously understands what he’s talking about; the audience does not. There are occasional, mysterious meetings with Dan (Barry Pepper), his best friend since childhood. There are visits to hospitals; one of them is where we meet Emily (Rosario Dawson), who suffers from congenital heart failure and has a rare blood type, making a transplant difficult. Ben, ostensibly following her to check into various failures to pay her taxes, seems to have an ulterior motive. And sure enough, the two fall in love, the relentless Ben weeding her yard and repairing her ancient printing press. Meanwhile, Ben inserts himself into the lives of other people, including a battered woman (Elpidia Carrillo), to whom he gives a substantial gift. Why is he watching a tough old man (Bill Smitrovich) coach a kids’ hockey game? What is going on here? Don’t fret, eventually Muccino pulls all of the various threads together. You may guess at aspects of where things are leading, perhaps even the ultimate outcome. But the details will surprise you. So will Smith. “Seven Pounds” requires a good deal of patience on the audience’s part. It’s a puzzle, and not all of its pieces are equally compelling. It would be easy to turn away. The constant is Smith (though Dawson is also good). He holds the screen whenever he’s on it, which is almost all the time. Luckily, while Ben could be played as maudlin, Smith avoids that. An innately likable actor, Smith manages not to overplay the heavy emotional scenes, which would have been easy enough to do. Instead, he gives Ben an edge. Clearly the man has issues, more than we initially realize. But what causes them? Sometimes Muccino gives a few hints that are too obvious. Others are confusing, though eventually explained. Bit by bit the jagged timeline comes into focus. Your level of satisfaction by the end will depend greatly upon how emotionally manipulative you like your movies. “Seven Pounds” is more than willing to use all the tricks of the trade — swelling music, that sort of thing — to make you reach for the tissues. But it’s only Smith’s performance that makes the tears worth crying. (Daily Record)

 

Russell Crowe is reportedly being lined up to play Bill Clinton in The Special Relationship, a film about the former US president’s friendship with Tony Blair. “Russell is currently our favorite to play Clinton,” an insider revealed. “He might not initially appear the obvious choice but it’s felt he could turn out to be ideal.” The movie will focus on Clinton’s relationship with Blair during the last three years of his Presidency. Michael Sheen, who has portrayed the former Prime Minister twice in The Deal and The Queen, is reportedly taking on the role a third time and Crowe’s involvement in the project “could be confirmed early next year.” (British Glamour)

 

 

TV . . .

 

Prison Shocker: The Truth About Michael’s Mom. Gasp! Could Michael Scofield’s mom be the source of the entire conspiracy? See the sneak peek from Monday’s Prison Break finale above and tell us what you think in the comments! (Could Kathleen Quinlan’s incoming character possibly be more than a Company executive? Could she be Michael’s mom?!) Plus, check out the three clips below to see the Company try to get Michael to sell out and see both Sarah and Gretchen offered up as human sacrifices to Prison Break’s creepy overlords… The fall-season finale of Prison Break airs Monday at 9 p.m. on Fox! (Eonline)

 

For the past three weeks, the upstart My Network TV has accomplished something that would have been considered unthinkable just two years ago. The network, quickly cobbled together by a group of Fox-owned local stations after the 2006 merger of the WB and UPN into the new CW left abandoned stations with nothing to put on the air, has averaged more prime-time viewers than the CW. My Network TV is the only one of the six English-speaking broadcast networks to grow this season. Its average of 1.76 million viewers each night is up 750,000 from last season, according to Nielsen Media Research. Given an opportunity to gloat, My Network TV President Greg Meidel plays it cool. “Do we get excited about beating the CW three weeks in a row? Sure,” said Meidel. “I’d rather win than have a tie.” Professional wrestling is the turnaround’s chief driver. The CW used to air World Wrestling Entertainment matches, but let them go because wrestling clashed with its strategy of appealing primarily to the young women who obsess over “Gossip Girl.” My Network picked it up and the Friday night package is the network’s most popular program of the week. Even discounting the wrestling, My Network TV is up. Its executives abandoned the network’s initial programming strategy – prime-time, English-language telenovelas – in favor of movies and nonfiction programming. “We want to provide programming that’s entertaining, that’s fun to watch and easy to join in progress,” Meidel said. Make no mistake, My Network would like you to set aside time for its shows. But that’s tough for a new network, so it favors material like “Jail,” a series from the producer of “COPS” that follows a person in the first few days of incarceration, and “The World’s Funniest Moments,” a collection of YouTube-like videos hosted by Arsenio Hall. They’re designed to catch the eye of someone idly surfing through the channels. For that reason, My Network TV has avoided dating games or competition shows that stretch over several episodes, fearing viewers won’t make the commitment, Meidel said. The network also happened upon a new niche of shows related to magic. Its “Breaking the Magicians Code” has done well, and will soon be joined by “Masters of Illusion,” where tricks presumably not outed by the previous show are performed. The network has movie nights, and a week ago tied for its biggest audience ever with the holiday evergreen “Home Alone.” My Network TV’s success shows that with all the new media, there’s still power in traditional broadcast television distribution, said John Rash, an analyst for the ad buying firm Campbell Mithun. My Network is shown on 10 Fox-owned stations and has 170 affiliates. Unlike the CW, My Network doesn’t really have a clear identity for viewers, Rash said. But that could be an opportunity.

“They have the ability to redefine the network and build from their surprising success relative to the lack of a clear consumer definition,” he said. The CW partly blames its defeats of the past few weeks on a schedule filled with reruns. Its executives wouldn’t talk publicly, but they believe their approach of making some high-quality scripted shows appealing to a certain audience will ultimately pay off. “The CW has a sound strategy,” Rash said. “It needs more applicable programming.” Appealing to a niche is one approach, but Meidel said he believes there’s still money to be made in going after a broader audience. “Our goal as a team is to create real value for our affiliates,” he said. (Daily Record)

 

Britney Spears is wanted to be a mentor on the next series of American Idol. Simon Cowell wants Britney Spears to be a mentor for the contestants on American Idol despite her widely-panned recent turn on the X Factor. “I would love to see her mentor the contestants,” Simon said in a conference call to the US media. “If she doesn’t want to do that, but wants to perform on the show – I would welcome that at any time. She would, literally, be first on the list, as far as I’m concerned in any capacity. (She) was a riot. I loved it. The buzz we had on our show (the X Factor) was extraordinary. And even with all that stuff that’s gone on with her the past two years, there was more excitement and interest in her than I’ve seen in anyone in years. She would be very, very welcome.” (Handbag)

 

Michael Chiklis didn’t lose any money in the escalating Bernard Madoff scandal. But he did fall victim to another Ponzi scheme early this year. And now, sadder but wiser, he’s developing a TV series fueled by his experience. Chiklis has been gathering material from others also hurt by investor scams, “and if I had hair, it’d curl,” says the actor, who starred in the recently concluded FX cop drama “The Shield.” Soon he hopes to have a pilot script for “House of Cards.” “There are fascinating characters who perpetrate these schemes,” says Chiklis, more convinced than ever that a drama about such scoundrels and their prey would be relatable to viewers. “The Madoff situation tells me how pervasive these rip-offs have become,” he says. “And there’s more ahead, I’m sure.” (Daily Record)

 

When “American Idol” executive producer Ken Warwick held a conference call with the press earlier in the week, he spent much of it reiterating that he wanted Paula Abdul to stay on the show. Turns out that reporters on the call really should have been asking not about Abdul, but about Simon Cowell. “I’ll make a decision about (whether to stay with the show) next year,” Cowell said Dec. 17 in his own call with reporters. His inclination to make a call about staying with the show doesn’t come from personality conflict as much as it does workload, however. “This show could continue for another 10 years,” he conceded. Cowell also backed up Warwick’s earlier statement that the show wasn’t aware of how troubled Paula Goodspeed really was. Goodspeed, of course, is the woman who auditioned for “Idol” and recently killed herself outside judge Paula Abdul’s house. Abdul has said show producers knew the woman was stalking her and let her audition anyway, but Cowell says that the producers have been portrayed unfairly. “These guys have the utmost integrity as human beings,” Cowell said. “(The judges) wouldn’t work with (the producers) if they were the kind of people who would deliberately do something like that. We’ve taken them on their word that they didn’t know this person was as troubled as she was.” (Scoop)

 

Thursday TV’s Big Winners: Does quantity count? ‘Cause NBC’s The Office and 30 Rock aired two repeats each, the most of any series on a night of repeats. Hooray! Actually, Size Counts, Especially to CBS: The network’s CSI (12.6 million viewers, per Nielsen estimates) was, by far, the most watched rerun among total viewers and the 18-49 crowd. NBC’s first offering of an old Office (4.9 million) did OK, too, tying CBS’ Eleventh Hour (10.1 million) for the night’s second-best rating in the demo. Guess What Grandpa Was Watching? The return of CBS’ Regis Philbin-hosted game show Million Dollar Password (8.3 million) killed in the adults 50-plus demo. Guess What the AARP-Ineligible Weren’t Watching? Password got killed in the 18-49 demo, running third in the 8 p.m. hour behind Fox’s all-new Secret Millionaire (6.4 million viewers overall) and NBC’s all-old comedy block of My Name Is Earl (4.7 million) and Kath & Kim (3.8 million). Does Anything Repeat Worse Than Grey’s Anatomy? Actually, yes. Private Practice (4.4 million) and Ugly Betty (4.6 million) both managed to make their fellow ABC show (5.5 million) look successful by comparison. (Eonline)

 

 

TODAY’S IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION . . . (Mike Butts Creative)

 

Q.  Despite protests from a small portion of Americans, 93% of us want this to be allowed . . . want what?

            A.  A nativity scene at our church or mall or parks/

 

 

TODAY’S QUOTE (By Henry David Thoreau)

 

“IF YOU HAVE BUILT CASTLES IN THE AIR, YOUR WORK NEED NOT BE LOST; THERE IS WHERE THEY SHOULD BE. NOW PUT FOUNDATIONS UNDER THEM.”

 

 

MIND BOGGLERS . . .  (QuickTrivia)

 

Q.  In the song :”Twelve Days of Christmas,” how many golden rings do you get from your true love?

            A.  Three

            B.  Four

            C.  Six

            D.  Five  ****

 

Q.  What Pennsylvania city do they call Chocolate Town?

            A.  Hershey  ****

            B.  Philadelphia

            C.  Mars

            D.  Allentown

 

Q.  Film director Mack Sennett is known for his work with Buster Keaton at this studio?

            A.  Universal

            B.  Keystone  ****  (His slapstick comedies starring the likes of Keaton and Chaplin were all shot at Keystone)

            C.  MGM

            D.  RKO

 

Q.  Name the musical film named after a U.S. state?

            A.  Oklahoma  ****

            B.  Maine

            C.  Nebraska

            D.  Hawaii

 

Q.  Which television family made the hit recording “I Think I Love You”?

            A.  Partridge  ****  (Except for David Cassidy and Shirley Jones, Studio musicians sang on the Partridge Family records)

            B.  Brady

            C.  Huxtable

            D.  Cleaver

 

Q.  What empire-builder is buried in Aachen, Germany?

            A.  Genghis the Khan

            B.  Adolf Hitler

            C.  Napoleon

            D.  Charlemagne  ****

 

 

ODD NEW YEARS ITEMS . . . (Passed on to us from Brian Freeman WSJS)

 

Odd new years items for you.

•    Harrisburg, PA, they lower a Strawberry from atop a downtown hotel… They don’t grow Strawberries anywhere nearby, it’s all pavement and the state capital buildings.
•    Dillsburg, PA, (west of Harrisburg) they lower a Pickel. They DO grow strawberries near Dillsburg..but not pickles. – Odd.

TRAVEL TIPS . . . (Peter Greenberg Worldwide)

 

DRIVING SAFELY WITH WIRELESS HEADSETS:

 

Hands-free cell phone devices are great accessories, but now they’re turning into necessities. Currently there are five states—California, Connecticut, New Jersey, New York and Washington DC—that prohibit driving while talking on handheld cell phones. In July 2008, California will join this list. For wireless Bluetooth options try the Z9 by BlueAnt, the Jawbone by Aliph [A-liff] or the NX6000 by CellPoint Connect AB. These allow you to answer your calls without the hassle of wires. Or, if you’re willing to stick with a wired headset, go to freeheadset dot org. You can get a hands-free cell phone device for free; you just need to pay 4 dollars in shipping.

 

(Peter Greenberg is North America’s preeminent expert on Travel. An Emmy Award-Winning writer and producer, Peter is the Travel Editor for NBC’S “TODAY SHOW,” MSNBC and CNBC. A Best-Selling author of the “Travel Detective” series and host of the nationally syndicated “Peter Greenberg Worldwide Radio Show.” Visit WWW.PETERGREENBERGWORLDWIDE.COM to learn more about Peter Greenberg and his adventures.)

 

 

MIKE BUTTS CREATIVE . . .

 

EVEN RICH FOLKS TRIM COSTS: J

YES THE BAD ECONOMY HAS EVEN STARTED TO AFFECT THE SUPER WEALTHY—TOP SELLER IN NEW YORK AND BEVERLY HILLS GROCERS?

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT CAVIAR!     LOBSTER HELPER !  MACARONI AND TRUFFLES J

 

 

I READ FORTUNE & FORBES:

 

TO TRY AND LEARN MORE ABOUT THE FINANCIAL MARKETS –I READ A LOT—I READ “MONEY’—FORTUNE—AND FORBES”— CRAZY WHEN I THINK

ABOUT IT—I DON’T HAVE A FORTUNE SO I PROBABLY SHOULDN’T BE READING FORBES”!!

 

 

MY PETS HAVE IT GOOD: J

 

I LOVE MY PETS—MY BEST FRIENDS—MY-FOUR LEGGED KIDS. BUDDY—JAYJAY–CADBURY—CHARCOAL—NIKKI—AND THE 2 NEW ADOPTEES,

HAMSTERS KOALA AND HONEY-BEAR. IT WOULD BE NICE TO KNOW WHAT THEY’RE THINKING—WOULDN’T THAT BE SUCH A BLESSING TO KNOW

WHAT THEY THINK AND WE COULD ACTUALLY HAVE A DISCUSSION BACK AND FORTH?

 

I THINK THEY KNOW I LOVE THEM AND THAT THEY HAVE IT GOOD—I THINK THEY WOULD SAY “YEA MIKE LOVES US—EXCEPT WHEN HE PUSHES

THAT LOUD MONSTER ALL OVER THE CARPETS EVERY OTHER DAY—THE MONSTER WITH THE HEAD-LIGHT IN IT’S FOREHEAD—BACK AND

 FORTH BACK AND FORTH—WE DON’T KNOW WHY HE DOES IT BECAUSE HE’S ALWAYS SWEARING WHEN HE DOES IT J

 

 

BIRTHDAYS . . .

 

—1727  Signer of the Declaration of Independence William Ellery (d. 2-15-1820)

—1858  Composer Giacomo Puccini (d. 11-29-1924)

—1907  Actress Dame Peggy Ashcroft (Trip to Bountiful) (d. 6-14-1991)

—1912  Former First Lady Claudia (Lady Bird) Taylor Johnson  (d. 7-11-2007)

¾1917  Game Show Host Gene Rayburn (Match Game) (d. 11-29-1999)

—1922  Actress Barbara Billingsley (Leave It to Beaver)

—1936  Actor Hector Elizondo  (Pretty Woman)

—1944  Baseball’s Steve Carlton

—1946  Journalist Diane K. Sawyer (Good Morning America)

—1946  Singer/Guitarist Rick Nielsen (Cheap Trick)

—1948  Baseball’s Steve Garvey

—1948  British Disc Jockey Noel Edmonds

—1949  Musician Robin Gibb (The Bee Gees)

—1949  Musician Maurice Gibb (The Bee Gees)

—1951  Golfer Jan Stephenson

—1962  Actor Ralph Fiennes (Maid In Manhattan)

¾1973  Actress Heather Donahue (The Blair Witch Project)

¾1989  Singer Jordin Sparks

 

 

THIS DAY IN HISTORY . . .

 

CAPRICORN, THE GOAT (December 22-January 19/the ruling planet is Saturn)

—1858  One of the two greatest Italian composers, Giacomo Puccini, was born in the city of Lucca (d. 1924). He wrote, among many others, “Madame Butterfly” and “La Boheme.”

—1956  The first gorilla was born in captivity in the Columbus, OH zoo. His name was “Colo” and weighed 3 1/4 pounds.

—1958  The novelty song “The Chipmunk Song” by The Chipmunks (Alvin, Simon, Theodore with Dave Seville) peaked at #1, and is still a Christmas favorite today.

—1962  The Tornadoes’ “Telstar” becomes the first record by a British artist to top the US charts.

—1963  “The Roy Rogers and Dale Evans Show” last aired on ABC.

—1967  Pink Floyd play London’s Olympia, in the band’s last major show with Syd Barrett.

—1967  Walt Disney’s “The Jungle Book’” opened in New York area theaters, the first animated feature since Disney’s passing.

—1973  Elton John’s “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” is the top album in the US.

—1976  Issac Hayes files for bankruptcy.

—1978  Kenny Jones, formerly of the Faces, joins the Who as drummer, replacing Keith Moon.

—1981  Kate Bush buys a perspex sculpture of John & Yoko at an auction of rock memorabilia in London. A letter from Paul McCartney to a fan sells for over $3100.

—1984  After being allegedly threatened by four teenagers while riding on the New York City subway, Bernhard Goetz allegedly drew his gun and shot them.

—1988  Morrissey, former lead singer for the Smiths, puts on a short concert in Wolverhampton, England, in his first live appearance since the Smiths’ farewell concert in 1986.

¾2000  Madonna (42) married Guy Ritchie (32), Madonna’s daughter Lourdes was their flower girl.  Their 4 month old son Rocco was also present.  They were married in a castle in Scotland. 

Madonna & Guy filed for divorce in 2008.

 

 

RADIO ONLINE® DAILY SHOW PREP™ . . .

 

EDITOR’S NOTE

In order that we may share the Christmas and New Year’s holidays with our families and loved ones, RADIO ONLINE’s Daily Show Prep editors and writers will be on vacation from December 24 through January 1. During that time only abbreviated prep sheets will be posted and many regular features such as Weird News, Hunter’s Humor and Gorsefeathers will not appear. The last regular prep sheet posted in 2008 will be for Tuesday, December 23. Regular publication of the Daily Show Prep will resume on January 2.

ON THIS DAY

On this date in 1864, Union General William T. Sherman sent a message to President Lincoln from Georgia, saying, “I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the city of Savannah.” Of course, the tough part was wrapping it…

In 1882, a guy named Ed Johnson flipped the switch and became the first person to have electric lights on his Christmas tree. He used to have gas lights, but got tired of having to have his finger pulled to light up the tree.

TODAY IS

Ralph Fiennes, who doesn’t have one name that sounds like it’s spelled, turns 46 today.

Luther Campbell of ‘2 Live Crew’ turns 48 today. (BEEP)-in’ birthday to you, (BEEP)-in’ birthday to you… Beaver’s mom, Barbara Billingsly, turns 86 today. “You look very nice for being so old, Mrs. Cleaver.”

First Full Day Of Winter — The National Energy Commission says to winterize your home this winter make sure you check for air leaks, check your insulation & weather stripping and don’t forget to check your heating system. That’s great for most of the country, but what about those warmer climates like Southern California and Florida?

·         Make sure you have enough SPF-30 handy for those “brrrr” 75 degree sunny days.

·         A supply of clean, long sleeve t-shirts for those chilly winter days.

·         Keep your lawnmower sharpened… that “dead, dormant” lawn will still need to be mowed twice a month.

·         Fuzzy head covers to keep your driver and 3-wood warm during those frigid 65-degree days on the golf course.

·         Charcoal, cold beers and blue & gold board shorts to wear at those NFL tailgate parties.

·         Ladies, you may have to drop the hem an inch or so on your mini-skirts to stay warmer at those outdoor happy hours.

·         Make sure your strappy sandals straps are at least 3/8″ wide. You’ll need the extra “warm” toe-coverage when partying on Saturday nights, and those 5-inch stilettos may need to come down to 4-inches… with the occasional sprinkle you won’t want to slip and fall on those treacherous sidewalks.

·         And most importantly… try to locate the extra sheet for your bed to keep “toasty warm” at night.

THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW

·         Whoops! Something went wrong with a David Copperfield trick involving a large fan Wednesday in Las Vegas. An assistant left the stage with a broken arm and a facial puncture.

·         Majel Barrett Roddenberry, the widow of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, died last week at age 76.

·         When it comes to Mother Nature, the most dangerous places to live in the U.S. is the Great Plains states and the South. The two biggest killers aren’t earthquakes or hurricanes, but rather heat and thunderstorms, according to research from the University of South Carolina.

·         This will sound like I’m making it up but I’m not: the Oxygen network is going to have a new show that combines a weight-loss competition with dancing called “Dance your ass off!”

·         Jermaine Dupri says on his blog that he and girlfriend Janet Jackson haven’t split up — and she isn’t pregnant.

·         Up to 25% of fantasy sports players are women, according to a Ipsos Research survey for the Fantasy Sports Trade Association.

·         The Kleenex that Scarlett Johansson blew her nose with on the Tonight Show last week has found it’s way on to eBay. Last time we checked, over 60 bids. The top: over $2,000.

·         The next U2 album, “No Line on the Horizon,” comes out March 3.

·         So you fancy yourself a singer, eh? Now you can test your pipes against Elvis Presley at http://www.singwiththeking.com

·         Mark Felt, who revealed himself as the anonymous Watergate source “Deep Throat,” passed away last week at the age of 95.

·         Insiders say that Oprah Winfrey is home shopping in the Washington, DC, area so she can be as close to Barack Obama as possible.

·         Angie Harmon and husband Jason Sehorn have welcomed their third daughter. Emery Hope Sehorn was born last Thursday.

·         Whitney Houston is being sued by her step mom. It’s a battle for the money in her late father’s estate.

CONVERSATION STARTERS

Women’s Health polled readers about their manners and behavior:

·         70% of women would call themselves polite

·         98% of women get annoyed when someone cuts in line

·         38% of those have cut in line themselves

·         68% of women have been rude to a stranger, the most common reason: “Because the other person was rude first”

·         55% of women swear in public, most women think other people with potty mouths: “I don’t mind unless it’s around kids”

·         36% of women admit to have purposely failed to hit the “door open” button when someone was running toward the elevator

·         63% of women expect their date to pay the bill

·         60% of women say good manners make a man more attractive

·         93% find a man’s manners more important than his income

·         12% of women think a guy with bad manners will be bad in bed

·         80% of women have hung up on someone; 25% who did, called back to apologize

·         Formal events are where most women are on the “best behavior”

·         Rude actions the average woman admits to doing are; flipping people off while driving, double-dipping, and putting her feet on the back of the seat in front of her

·         Top three female faux pas that disgust the average women in order are; loud gum chewing, gossiping, and applying makeup in public

A new study found that in 43% of couples living together, women made decisions in more household areas; TV watching and finance, than men did. One possible reason: Younger couples divvy up duties to save time, and women often claim tasks that concern home life. (Cosmopolitan)

(Redbook) So how are we going to “Deck The Halls” on Christmas:

·         $9.3 billions, the estimated national sales of holiday decorations last year

·         $20 is the amount the typical American household spent on seasonal decorations in 2006

·         269 feet is the height of the largest Christmas tree according to the Guinness Book of World Records’

·         25% of people purchased a live tree last year, according to a poll by the National Christmas Tree Association

·         25,000 lights on Clark Griswold’s house in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Get this — a Turkish mayor is suing the director of “Batman Begins” and “The Dark Knight” for stealing the name of his city. Huseyin Kalkan says the ancient municipality of Batman, Turkey, had the name long before the fictional superhero existed, and he’s demanding that director Christopher Nolan pay royalties for using the city’s name without permission. “There is only one Batman in the world,” Kalkan declares. “The American producers used the name of our city without informing us.” Adding insult to injury, Kalkan claims a series of unsolved murders in Batman are a direct result of the twisted psychological impact of the popular film. (Sun)

PHONE TOPICS

·         Who is the hardest person to shop for in your family?

·         What does Santa do the rest of the year?

·         What conversation have you been avoiding? No better time than now to get that tough subject out in the open!

·         Women that know their husband is cheating! These men think they are safe, but boy are they wrong.

·         Who is the oldest person who has never seen a member of the opposite sex naked?

·         What did you lose in your divorce? You break my heart, I’ll take your stuff!

·         Most creative thing you’ve ever done to make yourself attractive to the opposite sex?

·         What has your man done that he thought was really romantic, but wasn’t?

·         What do you use old lottery tickets for?

·         Who got screwed over the most in a divorce?

·         Stupid fights you get into with your wife or significant other?

·         Things you couldn’t live without? This got calls for everything to pets to plug-in sex toys.

·         What is the world’s crappiest job and who has it?

·         What’s your favorite thing to do in the nude besides “you know”?

·         How has Christmas 2008 been different?

Does anyone have a neighbor who has so many Christmas lights up you can probably see their house from space? We had lots of funny calls from people who aren’t too fond of their holiday – celebratin’ neighbors.

How many kids is too many? Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar of Tontitown, Ark., had their eighteenth child. Wow, eighteen kids. Do you agree that one couple should have so many kids? If so, how many kids should be allowable?

We talked about the Tampa police detectives who resigned after an internal affairs investigation showed they were working less than a 40-hour work week. How did they get caught? There were GPSs on their cars. Their bosses tracked them. Where did they go all day? Home. If your boss tracked you during the workday, where would the GPS signal lead them?

What food do you eat on a somewhat regular business even though you find it disgusting? For instance, I can’t have chicken wings more than once every week or two or they gross me out, but if I don’t have them for a long time I miss them. I think ribs fall into the same category. This comes up because our annual rib-fest is underway. Man they’re good, but you feel like your gnawing on road kill.

Our stuntboy is in college. And he’s pretty far from home so he usually spends the holidays with his best friend and his family. The problem is his friend’s mom. She’s HOT! And now he swears that she’s giving him the “eye”. He says that she’s even touching and flirting with him. He doesn’t want to mess anything up, but he’s obsessed with her. What should he do?

How do you know that you’re too drunk to drive this holiday? Take some advice from across the ocean. Police in Suffolk, England have launched an anti-drinking and driving campaign, publishing impossible phrases to say when drunk, to encourage responsible drinking. Here are a few:

·         Thanks, but I don’t want to sleep with you

·         Where is the nearest toilet? I can’t possibly vomit in the street

·         Good evening, officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight?

·         No fries for me, thank you

·         I’m not interested in fighting you

·         Good evening, officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight?

·         Oh, I just couldn’t – no one wants to hear me sing

Any other ones that you’d like to add to their list?

What’s your trademark? This was a great topic for us. Everybody has a least one. Donald Trump’s “You’re Fired,” Larry King’s suspenders, Slash has the top hat, Ozzy has his knuckles tattooed with his name. What is yours?

If you want a warm and fuzzy break or two, take calls from parents who are proud of their kids. Specifically, those like me who are surprised how well their kids are turning out. My son is a freshman in college now and it’s amazing he’s as great as he is considering that he’s the product of a psycho, crisis-queen mom and a father who may have spent just a little too much of his life in the fast lane.

Ask your listeners what kind of crazy things they’ve done to get “closure” over an ex. Some will tell you that these things are normal, but the stories we heard were borderline psychotic. Have you ever been caught “stalking” your ex?

A lousy marriage might literally make you sick. I read a new study that says unhappy marriages and other bad personal relationships can raise your risk for heart disease. Did you divorce someone because they were literally making you sick? What kind of symptoms did you have? When did they start making you sick? Was there one thing in particular that they did?

We took calls on about what men and women find sexy. We started one day with women, and got calls like it’s sexy when he plans a date, and a man with a baby is sexy, etc. Then the next day we did what men think is sexy, and the phones exploded. Got calls like butts, garter belts, etc.

How do you know you’re going to be fired? According to Fortune magazine, here are 8 signs that you could be on your way out.

1.      You don’t fit in. Your values don’t match the company’s.

2.      Your boss doesn’t like you and you don’t like him or her. If your boss never asks your opinion, and never wants to chat or have lunch with you, and if you disagree with her agenda and dislike her style, your days are numbered.

3.      Your peers don’t like you.

4.      You don’t get assignments that demonstrate the full range of your abilities.

5.      You always get called upon to do the “grunt work.”

6.      You are excluded from meetings your peers are invited to.

7.      Everyone on your level has an office. You have a cubicle in the hallway.

8.      You dread going to work and feel like you’re developing an ulcer.

How do you know it’s time to go at a job?

My co-host has a serious mouse problem in her house. It’s so big a problem that she’s moving. I told her to get those new mouse traps that actually electrocutes the mouse. When it’s killed, a little green light comes on. It says it’s humane. Anyone else have trouble with mice? What’s the best way to humanely get rid of them?

According to a recent study, 85 percent of all women are wearing the wrong bra size. Guy hosts, ask your women listeners, why it’s so tough to find a good fitting bra. Do they sell bras with velcro clips for easy removal?

How young is too young to date someone? According to “the formula,” you take a guy’s age and divide by two then add 7. That’s the youngest age that you should date. So if you’re 34, the youngest age someone you can date is 24. Here’s why I bring this up. It’s funny that my college roommate, who is one of my closest friends is 35. He’s currently dating a 19-year-old girl. That just doesn’t sound right. Lets go to the phones and see if I’m right.

Getting fired? What’s funny is no one ever believes they should have been fired. It’s also quite amusing to ask for people who have actually tried to get fired. How long did the company put up with them showing up for work drunk and stoned?

With all of these do-it-yourself shows on TV now, we opened the phones and asked, “What DIY project did you takle and do well?” Then we asked the other burning question, “What did you try and really mess up… eventually calling in a pro to help fix it.”

YES OR B.S.

·         The name of the dog from the Grinch Who Stole Christmas is Spot. (B.S., it’s Max)

·         In the world of music, Budapest, Julliard, and Cleveland are all prominent Opera Houses. (B.S., they’re prominent String Quartets)

·         Including TV versions, Adam West has played both Batman and Simon Templar (aka The Saint). (B.S., Val Kilmer)

·         Liv Ullmann, a Norwegian actress, known for roles in Ingmar Bergman movies, was actually born in Tokyo. (Yes)

·         Geena Davis is an Oscar winner and a Mensa member, and in 1999 she tried out for Olympics. (Yes, for Archery)

·         Nominated for an Oscar, Roman Polanski made “Noz w wodzie” (“Knife in the Water”), his full-length directorial debut in Polish. (Yes)

·         It takes 4 minutes to cool Hershey’s chocolate into a kiss. (B.S., 18 minutes)

·         The actor Jeremy Irons (from “French Liutenant’s Woman”), was born in 1933. (B.S., 1948)

·         The term “Beatlemania” was coined after the Beatles appeared at Yankee Stadium. (B.S., The Palladium)

·         In “The Karate Kid,” Daniel had to paint Miagi’s house Green, as part of his training. (Yes)

·         The musical term for “Voice” is Vocta. (B.S., it’s Voce)

·         India celebrates Constitution Day when we celebrate Christmas. (B.S., Taiwan does)

·         The first painted Christmas Card was designed by Ben Franklin. (B.S., John C. Horseley)

·         Buffalo can actually jump as high as six feet in the air. (B.S.)

·         Your liver is about the size of a football. (Yes)

·         The Gill, lateral line, and dorsal fin are parts of a fish. (Yes)

·         Mentioned in their song “If I had a million dollars,” Kraft Dinner gets thrown at the Barenaked Ladies. (Yes)

·         Michelangelo designed the uniform worn by the Swiss Guards at the Vatican. (Yes)

·         Matt Damon’s breakout role was in “Saving Private Ryan,” and his real name is Mark Vincent. (B.S., Vin Diesel)

·         The source of the Nile is Lake Victoria. (Yes)

TWISTED TUNES

One of the games we started doing is taking song lyrics from well-known songs and singing them over other well-known song beds or TV show theme music. I’m sure you’ve heard of some variation of this. Let’s say you take the chorus part of a well-known song and sing it over the “Bonanza” or “Green Acres” theme. Then the callers try to identify the song. Usually takes about 3 to 5 callers.

TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU DID YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING AT 7-11

1.      Slurpee stains on the gift tag

2.      Who else carries the beef jerky Christmas sampler?

3.      Lotto tickets! Lotto tickets! Lotto tickets!

4.      “A newspaper! What a unique idea!”

5.      I’ll bet this hot dog was much better when it was warm

HUNTER’S HUMOR by Tim Hunter

Burger King has released their very own fragrance, called “Flame”… which they describe as “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.” This could give a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Would you like fries with that?”

Burger King is coming out with their own fragrance called “Flame.” Apparently “Vat of Grease” was already taken.

President Bush says he’s working on a plan to bailout the American Auto Industry. He better be careful, or he could do something unpopular!

According to a new survey, 67% of pet owners say their pets “talk” to them. I know my schnauzer thinks that’s a lot of crap.

THE WRONG GAME

Round 1

·         What are you supposed to do under the mistletoe?

·         Name a dairy product that is in egg nog!

·         What color inspired “White Christmas”?

·         How many reindeer does Santa fly with?

·         In the “12 Days of Christmas,” how many golden rings are there?

Round 2

·         Which Noel do we sing about?

·         What’s Santa’s last name?

·         Where does he live?

·         Santa’s belly shook like a bowl full of… what?

·         What color is Santa’s beard?

Round 3

·         What color is Rudolph’s nose?

·         What is a snowman made of?

·         What’s that thing Santa rides around in?

·         What day is Christmas this year?

·         How many wisemen were there in the Christmas story?

DEAL OR NO DEAL

For $100, listeners would call someone else to see it they could work out a deal. Can somebody get their boss to give them the day off? Could they get a date? Could they get to someone to forgive them?

WINTER CLEANING

Does he have that one tee shirt, those crappy sweat pants, that one pair of “lawn” shoes, that are just gross? We had listeners not only describe them, but then destroy them. They received a gift certificate from the local mall so he could replace the item with a new one.

UNDERWEAR WARNING LABELS

Warning tags that should be in your standard pack of underwear.

·         Warning: Please watch diet… may stain.

·         Caution: Not built to contain excitement.

·         Warning: When sweaty – may hide between cheeks.

·         Advisory: Do us both a favor – after 15 years and 47,000 washes – throw me away!

·         Caution: Not responsible for shrinkage due to your growing ass.

·         Warning: May be flammable within 3 feet of a butane lighter.

·         Warning: I’m not a diaper – please use the Charmin.

MUSIC CONNECTION

Montage of three song snippits together, people call and tell us the connection.

SOUND BITE QUIZ

During the 7 am hour, we try to “stump” our listeners with a sound bite on a variety of subjects from entertainment, news, sports, music, etc. The caller who correctly identifies the sound bite wins a daily prize and qualifies for the bonus round and prize.

THE MAN QUIZ

Take it on the air with your female co-hosts and see who is more of a “man.” Give yourself a point for every yes.

·         Got a tattoo

·         Brewed your own beer

·         Driven a car worth more than 100,000 dollars

·         Owned a dog

·         Quit a job because you were pissed at (or hated) the boss

·         Told your dad face-to-face that you love him

·         Worked overseas

·         Placed a bet over 200 dollars

·         Demanded a pay raise

·         Saved a life

·         Grown a beard and had it for more than two years

·         Taken a ride on a wave that was bigger than you

·         Had sex in a public place

·         Run a marathon

·         Learned to play a musical instrument

·         Written a book

·         Gained revenge on someone

·         Been a best man

·         Caught a big fish

·         Flown a plane

·         Rode a horse

·         Had a go at diving

·         Became a vegetarian for at least 6 months

·         Gone broke trying to buy love

·         Bought a dud car

·         Slept with an EX-girlfriend

·         Become a dad

·         Sat on a jury

·         Swam with dolphins

·         Woken up with a stranger

·         Given blood

·         Gone to an all black march

·         Acquired a scar

·         Climbed a mountain

·         Performed an anonymous act of generosity

·         Skydived

·         Tied a bow tie by yourself

·         Won a trophy

·         Rode a motorcycle twice the speed limit

Your score:

·         If you said “yes” 10 or less times — you need to get out more.

·         If you said “yes” between 11 and 20 times — you’re cool. You’ve suffered pain, embarrassment and success.

·         If you said “yes” between 21 and 30 times — you are a better man than most. Good luck with the rest of the list.

·         If you said “yes” between 31 and 40 times, you rule! You are the man!

DID YOU KNOW?

The way you take a seat reveals important information about your personality, say the experts. “Your posture and the position of your arms and legs when you’re seated all make a subtle statement,” says body language authority Glenda Casteel. “The way you sit also makes an immediate impression on others, who subconsciously take note and even make assumptions based on what they see.” Discover what your typical sitting position says about you:

·         Sit with your legs crossed — You’re an outgoing person who’s self-assured in almost any situation. You’re blessed with the gift of gab. People enjoy your clever quips and witty opinions on everything from current affairs to the latest movie. Your ease with both friends and strangers makes you a perfect candidate for a job working with the public. Loved ones appreciate your honesty, loyalty and directness. You do have some weaknesses a short temper and lack of tact. But your good points far outweigh any shortcomings you possess.

·         Sit with your feet apart and toes pointed to the sides — You’re a determined person who’s very sure of your opinions and quick to make your preferences known to others. You’re highly observant, getting all the facts and weighing all your options before making a decision. You have no time for frivolous activities, and you seldom make an appearance at parties unless it is a family affair. You tend to set goals and accomplish them with as little fuss as possible. You may become stubborn at times, but it’s only because you feel you’re not being taken seriously enough.

·         Sit with your legs close together and vertical to the ground — You’re like Little Miss Muffett, sitting quietly in the corner, too timid to speak up and make your presence known. Your shyness can keep you from taking advantage of opportunities. You’re particularly reticent with strangers and authority figures. But if people have patience and understanding, they will eventually discover how delightful you can be. Beneath your still waters hides an articulate, dreamy, emotional person with amazing creative abilities and a wellspring a love and affection for a fortunate few.

·         Sit with your legs together and slightly tilted to one side — You’re a gentle, ladylike person whose graceful movements bring to mind a classical dancer. You also have a terrific sense of style and your charisma is so potent that you can charm even your enemies out of their socks. You handle acrimonious situations with poise and sensitivity that instantly eases tensions. You’re also a bit of a steel magnolia, hiding your hurt feelings in public and never letting them see you sweat. Your stiff backbone makes you the person on whom family and friends depend. (Sun)

GORSEFEATHERS by Patrick Gorse

The man known as “Deep Throat” for providing information that led to the resignation of President Richard Nixon during the Watergate scandal has died at the Age of 95. Mark Felt was 91-years-old in 2005 when Vanity Fair magazine revealed him to be Deep Throat. To which Felt replied, “All the President’s what, Deep where, and who’s Mark Felt?”

Rumors are swirling that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich may be willing to step down. Apparently he got an excellent job offer as a referee in the NBA.

Speaking about the auto industry bailout, President Bush said on Thursday that he was worried about a “disorderly bankruptcy.” I wish he’d been more worried about the orderly bank ROBBERY that got us in this mess in the first place.

A lot of gay rights groups are angry with President-elect Barack Obama for inviting an anti-gay marriage pastor to give the religious invocation at his inauguration. They say it’s a kick in the gut and a slap in the face. Of course, the sadomasochist community says they’re cool with it.

Freezing temperatures are gripping the nation. In Las Vegas, it snowed!!! It was so cold; Siegfried was able to talk Roy into climbing inside a tiger-skin sleeping bag.

Man, it’s just been freezing. It was so cold; Regis Philbin had the wings on his Emmy’s de-iced.

It was so cold, Britney Spears crossed her legs.

It’s so cold; the NRA said you can have their guns when you pry them from their ‘mittened’, dead fingers.

It was so cold at Taco Bell; my burrito slipped into a rat-fur tortilla.

It was so cold; discount crematoriums fired up their ovens instead of dumping the bodies in the woods.

It was so cold; Amy Winehouses’ urine sample tested positive for icicles.

It was so cold; Matthew McConaughey bought a shirt.

20 men in Iraq were arrested for trying to revive Saddam Hussein’s Baath political party. The Baath Party is dead and buried, but these guys thought they could bring it back by nominating Sarah Palin for president.

A new NBC/ Wall Street Journal poll says that only 21 percent of Americans will miss George Bush. And of course, this poll doesn’t even count that Iraqi shoe-thrower who missed President Bush twice.

On Thursday, Bill Clinton released a list of secret donors to his charity foundation as part of an agreement that will allow Hillary Clinton to become Secretary of State. For instance, Indian-American businessman Vino Gupta gave the Clinton’s over $500,000, and named a village in India after Hillary. I believe the town is called “Pant-Sutra.”

Saying they had few options besides Sarah Palin as a V.P. pick, John McCain’s former campaign manager Rick Davis said Republicans “have to work on” their “bench.” Yeah, and they also need to find a starting quarterback who’s not still wearing a leather helmet.

Former attorney general John Ashcroft said last week that he makes some of his best decisions when he has “morphine” in his system. Me too, but, it’s always the same decision… More morphine.

“Valkyrie,” a new movie about Adolph Hitler, will open in theaters on Christmas Day. Yes, nothing says Happy Holidays like an unhappy Holocaust.

Retail industry analysts say that to get customers inside their doors, stores that once cut prices 40 to 60 percent are now dropping them 70 to 75 percent. I spent $25 bucks at a 99-cent store. Now I own the place.

CRAVING KNOWLEDGE

(Women’s Health Think you’re prepared to fend off the next chocolate doughnut that enters your field of vision? Find out how much you really know about your cravings:

·         Chewing gum can help reduce cravings. True, a study presented at the 2007 annual scientific meeting of the Obesity Society found that chewing gum at one, two, and three hour intervals after lunch significantly reduced the desire to eat.

·         Cravings are your body’s way of communicating that it needs certain nutrients. False, this is probably just wishful thinking. Researchers have found no evidence of it for the vast majority of commonly craved foods.

·         The most successful dieters never give in to their cravings. False, a 2007 Tufts University study found that dieters who occasionally give in to cravings have the most weight-loss success.

·         Eating the same thing every day can increase the number of cravings you have. True, according to a study published in the journal Obesity in 2006, eating the same foods all the time can increase your number of cravings.

·         Chocolate is the most craved flavor. True, a study in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association found that while there’s not yet proof that chocolate is biologically addictive, it is the most sought after flavor in North America.

·         The easiest way to kill a craving is to think about something else. False, smell or look at something else instead. Researchers at Flinders University in Australia found that visual and olfactory distractions could help.

·         Women crave more. True, at least when it comes to snacks: In a University of Illinois study, women were more likely than men to crave foods like cookies and candy.

NAME THAT YEAR

(1971)

·         The Magic Kingdom is here, as Disney World opens in Orlando, Florida.

·         50’s rock star, and singer of “Be Bop A Lula,” Gene Vincent dies of medical problems at only 36.

·         The Jackson Five appear on the cover of Life magazine.

·         The first World Series night game, as Pirates beat the Orioles 4-3.

·         At a Madison Square Garden Oldies Concert in New York, Rick Nelson is booed for playing new material. The incident inspires him to write and record “Garden Party.”

·         And some one-hit wonders from Canada, The Stampeders top the charts with “Sweet City Woman.”

(1980)

·         President Carter signs into law legislation creating a $1.6 billion environmental “superfund” to pay for cleaning up chemical spills and toxic waste dumps.

·         The year that actor, Jake Gyllenhaal, and singer Christina Aguilera was born.

·         A Leonardo DaVinci notebook is sold for $5 million.

·         The prime interest rate is raised to a record 21.5%.

·         The Beach Boys receive a star on The Hollywood Walk Of Fame.

(1960)

·         On CBS-TV the first “Andy Griffith Show,” and the last “Howdy Doody Show,” where Clarabelle the Clown finally talked. He said, “Goodbye Kids.”

·         The first nuclear sub, the USS Enterprise leaves Newport News, VA.

·         San Francisco’s White House Department store becomes the first to accept charge cards instead of cash, the former Bankamericard… now Visa.

·         The first of four televised Presidential TV debates with Nixon and Kennedy.

·         Soviet leader Khruschev shows something new at the UN, shoe pounding at the podium!

·         A Carole King song, sung by the Drifters, “Save The Last Dance For Me” tops the charts.

(1984)

·         Bernhard Goetz, who shot and wounded 4 teenage boys on a New York Subway, surrenders to the police in New Hampshire.

·         President Reagan pledges $100 million for African drought relief.

·         The five-day-old hijacking of a Kuwaiti jetliner, that claimed the lives of two Americans, ends at Tehran airport.

·         A jury in Roanoke, VA, finds Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling the Reverend Jerry Falwell with a parody advertisement, but awarded Falwell $200,000 for emotional distress. (The award was later overturned by the U.S. Supreme Court.)

·         Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen is involved in a car crash which causes him to lose his left arm four days later.

(1969)

·         Little did they know just how big it would become as Bank Of America dedicated their new world headquarters in San Francisco at 555 California Street. Across town in San Francisco, the Fillmore West opened.

·         On television, the premiere of “Love American Style” and “The Brady Bunch.”

·         The Beatles’ “Abbey Road” is released, the last album they’d record together.

·         Lou Christie tops the chart with “I’m Gonna Make You Mine.”

(1988)

·         President Reagan and Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev exchange New Year’s messages in which both leaders express optimism about future superpower relations.

·         The FAA, responding to the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103, announces tightened security measures for U.S. air carriers at 103 airports in the Middle East and Western Europe.

·         President-elect George Bush Sr. nominates former U.S. transportation secretary Elizabeth H. Dole to be his secretary of labor.

·         A federal grand jury in North Carolina indicts PTL founder Jim Bakker and former aide Richard Dortch on fraud and conspiracy charges. Bakker, convicted on all counts, served 5 years in prison.

·         Aerosmith’s album “Toys In The Attic” is certified platinum for the fifth time.

(1955)

·         Actor James Dean loses life in California car crash.

·         Bill Haley and the Comets play Lubbock Texas, and hire local guy Buddy Holly to open. He’d do the same days later for Elvis.

·         October television featured our first look at Mouseketeers like Annette Funicello on the “Mickey Mouse Club,” “Alfred Hitchcock Presents,” and Bob Keesham as “Captain Kangaroo.”

·         Chuck Berry had his very first hit with “Maybelline.”

(1991)

·         The Dow-Jones average rises to a then-record high of 3,082.96.

·         Following the breakup of the Soviet Union, Russian President Boris Yeltsin announces that Russia would create its own army.

·         New York Governor Mario Cuomo announces he would not be a candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination.

·         North Korea and South Korea sign a historic non-aggression agreement, aimed at eventual reconciliation.

·         Nine fans are killed trying to get into a packed Heavy D. & the Boyz and Run DMC charity basketball game.

(1959)

·         The show business world loses two popular stars, movie’s Errol Flynn, and music’s Mario Lanza with a heart attack at only 38.

·         At age 22, Bobby Darin becomes the youngest headliner to headline the Copa Showroom at Las Vegas’s Sands Hotel.

·         On TV, it’s the premiere of Robert Stack as Elliott Ness in “The Untouchables,” and Rod Serling’s classic, “The Twilight Zone.”

·         The Coasters have a top ten hit with “Poison Ivy.”

(1995)

·         President Clinton signs a $6 billion road bill that ended the federal 55 mph speed limit.

·         The Dow Jones industrial average closes above the 5,000 mark for the first time.

·         France detonates a fourth underground nuclear blast at its test site in the South Pacific.

·         The Food and Drug Administration approves 3TC, the first new therapy for use as an initial AIDS treatment in nearly a decade.

·         Hootie & the Blowfish are among the celebrities who paid tribute to Frank Sinatra at a concert celebrating his upcoming 80th birthday.

STRESSFUL HOLIDAY GUESTS

The holidays are stressful for everyone, but house guests make it worse! If you’re dreading having to spend time with the relatives you can’t stand, here are some tips on coping from Mark Bryan, author of “Codes of Love: How to Rethink Your Family and Remake Your Life”:

·         Catch up on family news before the holidays, so you’re better prepared to discuss what’s going on in the lives of other guests.

·         Stay in a hotel or with a friend so you can retreat to a safe harbor.

·         Don’t expect a lot and try not to dredge up the past. Focus on the present.

·         Have a phone friend standing by so you can vent when meddling family members begin to overwhelm you.

·         Don’t be a slacker. Make a sincere effort to pitch in and help at clean-up time.

·         Don’t force deep conversations or pry for information.

·         Let your in-laws take care of you, if they want to.

·         If you have a newborn, make family members work around your schedule.

·         Don’t let in-laws walk all over you — you are not a doormat.

Phoner: Who’s coming that you DREAD? What did they do to make you feel that way?

CHRISTMAS FROM HELL

This morning, we took calls from people who had the Christmas From Hell. My co-host went postal (not literally) on her family during their big gathering. We had a guy call who totaled his brand new Ford Pick-Up (he got it as a present for Christmas) after it rolled down a ravine. Lots of funny stories.

DROP YOUR HUSBAND A HINT

(Woman’s Day) If you’ve ever received exercise equipment or (gasp) a vacuum for Christmas, you already know that husbands aren’t always talented gift givers. But if you think you can drop a subtle hint and expect the gift under the tree, forget it. “Subtlety is lost on a man,” says W. Bruce Cameron, author of “How to Remodel a Man.” Here’s how to retrain your guy:

·         Be direct — When you show him something and say you love it, it won’t register that this is a good gift idea, says Cameron. Instead, circle what you like in catalogs.

·         Get him in the mood — Most men don’t think about gifts until they know it’s crunch time. Help him focus by having a more general discussion. Or hit the stores together and consider getting a gift you can share, like a new stereo.

·         Be honest — “While a man may seem impervious to what you want, most guys can remember what you don’t want,” says Cameron. Ask him what he’s thinking about getting you. You’ll have a chance to kill really bad ideas, like that toaster oven he gave you last year.

BAD SANTA

There’s always that one person who gives you crap each and every year and you’re afraid to tell them because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Give everyone a chance to call those people out on the air and tell them to stop giving bad presents!

TOP 10 MOST HATED CHRISTMAS GIFTS

The credit card firm Morgan Stanley recently conducted a poll to find out the most hated Christmas gifts, and coming in at #1 was cheap perfume: The top 10 most hated holiday gifts:

1.      Cheap perfume

2.      Handkerchiefs

3.      Socks

4.      Packaged toiletries

5.      Christmas sweaters

6.      Slippers

7.      Chocolates

8.      Power tools

9.      Executive stress toys

10.  Kitchen equipment

Phoner: Worst gift ever received. Most inappropriate gift ever received. (Weight loss items or membership to weight watchers for someone overweight.)

UNTANGLE THIS

Untangle the Christmas Lights. Get a bunch of guys down at the station to see who can unravel the lights knot the fastest.

HOW TO TELL YOU OVERDECORATED FOR THE HOLIDAYS

1.      Real wise men show up at your house.

2.      The disc in your meter is spinning so fast, you can cut lumber.

3.      The power company sends you a gift basket.

4.      When the Fire Dept. does a nightly drive-by.

5.      You come in from your yard with a sunburn and it’s night-time!

6.      Your home is listed with the star registry.

7.      Your neighbors wear sunglasses to bed.

8.      Airplanes land in your driveway.

9.      Six months to put up. Six months to take down.

10.  Your plants bloom.

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