= SHOW PREP DECEMBER 10, 2008
HOLLYWOOD 411 . . .
Oscar winner Angelina Jolie has been named the actress who commands the biggest salary. Angelina Jolie is the highest paid actress in Hollywood an annual report published by the Hollywood Reporter has said. Angelina expects to make a whopping £10.2million per film according to the report ahead of Julia Roberts, 2007’s winner Reese Witherspoon, Cameron Diaz and Knocked Up star Catherine Heigl. Former Oscar winners Nicole Kidman and Halle Berry have dropped out of the top five as they are no longer to charge £6.2million ($10million) a film the report adds. (Handbag)
Actress Anne Hathaway would love to get married – and often finds herself fantasizing about where the ceremony would be held. The Devil Wears Prada star is reportedly dating Adam Shulman, after her four-year engagement to Italian businessman Raffaello Follieri ended when he was arrested for fraud earlier this year. And the 26-year-old admits she often dreams about exchanging vows – and even imagines where she could hold the nuptials. She tells Access Hollywood, “Sometimes I find myself somewhere and I’m just like, ‘Oh, it’d be really fun to get married here’. “I really don’t know what that says about me but… I try not to anticipate things before they happen – especially things that I would like very much to have happen.” But Hathaway has found herself at times questioning whether marriage is really for her. She adds, “Of course, like everyone, I’m kind of going through a moment where I’m like, ‘Do I even believe in marriage? What’s going on?’ You know, as you do when you’re fresh from a break up.” Despite her doubts, the actress is sure that she’ll wed when the circumstances are right: “I do think eventually someday – if I met the right person – I would get married.” (Teen Hollywood)
Twilight heart-throb Robert Pattinson was forced to end his modeling career at the age of 16 – because he started to look too manly. The British actor was a child model from the age of 12 but had to give up his life in front of the camera when work dried up just four years later. And Pattinson, who subsequently turned to acting, blames growing into a man for his modeling rejections. He tells British magazine Closer, “When I first started I was quite tall and looked like a girl, so I got lots of jobs, because it was during that period where the androgynous look was cool. Then, I guess, I became too much of a guy, so I never got any more jobs. I had the most unsuccessful modeling career.” (Teen Hollywood)
It’s been two years since she split from husband Chris Robinson, but Kate Hudson is in no hurry to walk back down the aisle. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get married again,” the actress – who plays a wedding-obsessed woman in the upcoming Bride Wars – recently told Extra. “I don’t know. … It depends on who you end up with.” Hudson, who has dated Owen Wilson and Lance Armstrong since her divorce, also said she has no second thoughts about marrying the Black Crowes frontman when she was just 21. “I don’t regret a second of my marriage. … Thank God for Chris,” she explained. “He made me partly who I am. … We had a great time. We love each other deeply. We have an amazing son.” Their son, Ryder Russell Robinson, turns 5 next month. (People)
Mariah Carey’s wish may finally be coming true. Spies in LA saw the songbird coming out of a well-known ob/gyn’s office on North Crescent Boulevard, “clutching what looked like a sonogram and being greeted by her entourage with cheers. She was ebullient.” It was the same type of paper that Minnie Driver was holding when she found out she was pregnant at the same doctor’s office. Carey, who wed Nick Cannon this year in a quickie Bahamas ceremony, has made no bones about wanting a child. A rep said, “As far as I’m told it’s not true.” (Page Six)
New York Yankees star Alex ‘A Rod’ Rodriguez has insisted he and Madonna are just good friends. Alex Rodriguez has spoken publicly for the first time about his rumored relationship with Madonna. “I’ve been to two of her concerts, yet I’ve read that I went to 20. I’ve also read that we were buying an apartment together. That is absolutely ridiculous and not true. You have to have a sense of humor when it comes to this stuff,” he told People magazine. “If I answered every rumor we’d be here for three weeks. We’re friends – that’s it. I have a lot of respect for her. She’s very committed to making the world a better place. She’s had an amazing career, and we’re friends. That’s it.” (Handbag)
According to the London media, Kate Moss’ Christmas gift to her hard working 60-year old nanny (who also happens to be Sadie Frost’s mother!) was a Topshop shopping spree. Would you gift your mom/grandma with a Topshop shopping spree? We didn’t think so! Wouldn’t a 60-year old prefer Harrod’s shopping in London? Plus, since Kate designs for Topshop, we bet she got all that shiz for free or at a huge discount. Hope this is just part of the hard working nanny’s gifts. Little Lila Grace is lucky dear nanny’s around with all those hard pAArtying nights of yours! P.S. Kate gets all her Topshop shit for free cuz she has a deal with them, hence the shopping free for the nanny there. (Perez Hilton)
Ashlee Simpson made her first public appearance on Monday since giving birth to son Bronx three weeks ago. Hiding her post-baby bod in a coat, the singer, 24, popped by West Hollywood Troubadour club to watch her husband, Pete Wentz, perform with his band Fall Out Boy. During her pregnancy, Simpson (who craved green olives) said she didn’t mind that she packed on extra pounds. She even said her doctor told her she was “right on target” with my weight gain, though she declined to reveal how much she had gained. “My weight and my pant size are the absolute last thing I am concerned about,” she said. “I am only concerned with having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. “People who judge pregnant women’s weight need to get a life.” (US Weekly)
Former “Desperate Housewives” star Jesse Metcalfe rang in his 30th birthday in Vegas. He and friends attended the Oscar De La Hoya fight, then headed to the Bank Nightclub Dec. 6. (Scoop)
Nick Cannon was spotted (sans wife Mariah Carey) shopping at the American Eagle on Hollywood and Highland Dec. 1. He was there with the local Big Brother Big Sister organization. (Scoop)
In a pre-taped interview on Monday’s Hills after-show, Tom Cruise was asked what advice he had for Spencer Pratt, who famously eloped with Heidi Montag Nov. 24. Cruise said that Pratt may have made a mistake since Montag had always talked about wanting a big wedding with her family. “If the girl wants the wedding, you gotta do the wedding,” Cruise said. “It’s a special occasion, and she’ll remember it forever. Spencer… dude… you’ll realize this later.” In a response, Pratt tells Usmagazine.com exclusively: “You all know how I feel about big weddings, but if Tom Cruise says so, it must be true. If Tom’s the best man, we’ll have a big wedding!” Meanwhile, Spencer’s sister Stephanie has revealed that Heidi’s mom Darlene phoned Mrs. Pratt after her Us Weekly interview, in which she said Spencer may have drugged Heidi to get her to marry him. “Heidi’s mom actually called my mom and was really apologetic and crying,” said Stephanie, who added that Darlene’s comments to Us were “tongue-in-cheek.” Believe it or not, Stephanie added, “the general consensus, with all the family members, is that we’re all really happy for them.” (US Weekly)
Twilight star Robert Pattinson fears for his life after shooting to fame with the hit film – because he worries fans will take the movie’s dark storyline too far. The British actor plays vampire Edward Cullen in the new movie and has been besieged by teenagers asking him to bite their necks. And Pattinson is worried that some fans of the cult picture will confuse fiction with reality and try to harm him. He says, “People ambush me in public and ask me to bite them and want to touch my hair. I just don’t want someone to have a needle and give me Aids and I don’t want to get shot or stabbed. This is my life.” Pattinson admits that his fears reached new heights following the film’s Los Angeles premiere last month – because of the deafening noise of all the screaming girls. He adds, “I thought, ‘Oh my God. Are they going to blow the place up?’” (Teen Hollywood)
A grinch has stolen a little bit more of John Schneider’s Christmas than the law will allow: a couple of puppies. Car thieves swiped Schneider’s sport utility vehicle at a suburban Los Angeles mall last week, including the pups that were early Christmas gifts for his children. The SUV has since been found – but no dogs. Schneider himself searched the neighborhood for the Yorkie and Yorkie-Poodle mix. He says he’s certain whoever took the SUV is caring for the dogs, or even re-gifting them. But the man who played a different kind of true modern-day Robin Hood – Bo Duke – believes the story, first reported by TMZ, will end with the equivalent of a freeze-frame smile. “I think we’re going to get my dogs back,” he said. (Daily Record)
Lindsay Lohan is begging the paparazzi to stop asking her if she’s split from girlfriend Samantha Ronson – assuring fans she’d write the news on her blog if they ever broke-up. Rumors have swirled about the couple’s relationship status since they began dating earlier this year. They have repeatedly denied splitting, and Lohan has once again taken to her MySpace.com blog to “prove all the liars wrong” – less than a week after slamming previous break-up reports. She writes, “(The paparazzi) should just stop asking altogether, once and for all if she and I are broken up because frankly, if we ever, ever did… I would say it before they could even think of asking… I’d say it here probably… I say everything here on MySpace. “I was out with my friend Jamie and paparazzi wouldn’t stop asking me where Samantha was. I’m not writing this blog because I feel like I need to prove that I’m with my girl to anyone at all. It’s just annoying. And I want to vent.” (Teen Hollywood)
Dennis Yost, lead singer of the 1960s group the Classics IV, has died in an Ohio hospital. He was 65. Yost died Sunday at Fort Hamilton Hospital in Hamilton, about 30 miles northwest of Cincinnati. He died of respiratory failure, hospital spokeswoman Marielou Vierling said. The Classics IV’s hits included “Spooky,” “Stormy” and “Traces of Love.” Yost had been in nursing homes since suffering a brain injury sustained in a 2005 fall, said Joe Glickman, the singer’s friend and biographer. “I’m still in shock because he was fine Saturday morning,” said his wife, Linda Yost, of suburban Hamilton. “And by, you know, early Sunday morning he was gone.” The Classics IV got their start in Jacksonville, Fla., where Yost, a native of Detroit, was raised, Glickman said. Their hit recordings were produced in Atlanta under the supervision of producer Buddy Buie and Bill Lowery, founder of Lowery Music Inc. The group performed together for about five years. Buie, who was a co-writer of the group’s songs with the group’s guitarist, J.R. Cobb, said: “Dennis had an incredible voice – just a great voice for love songs.” The 67-year-old Buie, who’s retired and living in Eufaula, Ala., added: “I am deeply saddened by his passing.” Cobb, 65, said he and Yost grew up in Jacksonville and rode motorcycles together before they were in the band. Cobb, who later performed with the Atlanta Rhythm Section and with the Highwaymen – a country group that included Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Kris Kristofferson and Willie Nelson – is retired and lives in Monticello, Ga. “Dennis was a friend as well as a fellow musician,” said Cobb. “I always thought he had a very distinctive voice, and I think we had some of the hits we had because of him and his ability as a singer.” Jon “Bowzer” Bauman, a vocalist with the former rock and comedy group Sha Na Na, held a benefit concert last year to help with Yost’s increasing medical costs, Glickman said. “He was a tremendous talent who did an enormous amount of the work for that group,” said Bauman, who works against copycat performers as chairman of Truth in Music, based at the Vocal Group Hall of Fame Foundation in Sharon, Pa. “Paradoxically, I came to know Dennis better in the later years, in which he was involved in a massive struggle to retain his own musical identity, which was one of the saddest and most difficult cases of someone losing the name of their own group, when he had pretty much been the group,” Bauman said. Bauman said truth in music legislation has been adopted in 26 states, and a bill was expected to make it through the legislature and to the governor’s desk next week in Yost’s home state of Ohio. Yost is survived by his wife and five children. A memorial service is planned for this weekend, Linda Yost said. (Daily Record)
Oliver Postgate, creator of cuddly stuffed cat Bagpuss and other much-loved British children’s television characters, has died at the age of 83, his family said Tuesday. Postgate’s partner, Naomi Linnell, said the artist and puppeteer died Monday at a nursing home in Broadstairs, 75 miles (120 kilometers) east of London. Both surreal and warmhearted, Postgate’s productions were a staple of British children’s television for three decades, beginning in the 1950s. They included musical Welsh locomotive Ivor the Engine, Norse prince Noggin the Nog and The Clangers, a family of mouse-like pink knitted aliens who spoke in whistles. His best-loved creation was Bagpuss, a pink “saggy, old, cloth cat” who appeared in a 1970s series and has topped several polls of Britain’s favorite children’s shows. Postgate – grandson of British Labour politician George Lansbury and cousin of actress Angela Lansbury – was born in London in 1925. During World War II he declared himself a conscientious objector and was jailed, later serving as a Red Cross stretcher-bearer in Germany. He remained politically active throughout his life, opposing nuclear weapons and, recently, the Iraq war. Postgate attended drama school after the war, then moved into animation with the black-and-white series “Alexander the Mouse.” In the late 1950s Postgate established the Smallfilms production company with fellow artist Peter Firmin. Working on tiny budgets in an old cowshed in southeast England, the pair devised and wrote scripts, created puppets and artworks and filmed their shows in stop-motion animation. Postgate provided the voices and narration. Postgate is survived by Linnell and several children from his marriage to the late Prudence Myers. (Daily Record)
The brother of actor Mark Ruffalo has died a week after he was shot in the head, police said Tuesday. Scott Ruffalo, 39, died late Monday night at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, Beverly Hills Police Sgt. Renato Moreno said. A phone message left early Tuesday for a Mark Ruffalo publicist wasn’t immediately returned. Two people wanted for questioning about the shooting had surrendered themselves to police earlier Monday. Shaha Mishaal Adham was suspected of shooting Scott Ruffalo, and authorities had issued an attempted murder arrest warrant for the 26-year-old. Brian Scofield was being held on a misdemeanor traffic warrant. Jail records didn’t indicate whether the pair have hired attorneys, but showed that a court date for Adham had been tentatively scheduled for Wednesday. Scott Ruffalo, a hairstylist, was found with a gunshot wound to the head in Beverly Hills on Dec. 1. Police haven’t discussed a motive. Mark Ruffalo, 41, has appeared in the films “Zodiac,” “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” “You Can Count on Me” and “Blindness.” (Daily Record)
THE OTHER STUFF . . .
Oprah Winfrey is used to dealing with weighty issues. In the January issue of “O” magazine, she deals with another one – her own. In the magazine, out Tuesday, the talk-show queen says she now weighs 200 pounds and has fallen off the wagon when it comes to healthy living. “I’m mad at myself,” Winfrey writes in an article provided early to The Associated Press by Harpo Productions. “I’m embarrassed,” she writes. “I can’t believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I’m still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, `How did I let this happen again?’” In the piece, Winfrey, 54, details her recent struggles with an out-of-balance thyroid and how the condition made her develop “a fear of working out.” She says she’s added 40 pounds to her frame since she weighed 160 pounds in 2006. “Yes, you’re adding correctly; that means the dreaded 2-0-0,” Winfrey writes. “I was so frustrated I started eating whatever I wanted – and that’s never good.” Winfrey also writes that her goal is no longer to be thin; instead, she wants to be strong, healthy and fit. She hopes to get started with her upcoming “Best Life Week,” starting Jan. 5 with an episode of “The Oprah Winfrey Show” during which she is expected to talk candidly about her weight. Winfrey, who is chairman of Harpo Inc., famously wheeled a wagon loaded with fat onto the set of her talk show in 1988 to represent a 67-pound weight loss while wearing a pair of size 10 Calvin Klein jeans. She had lost the pounds with a liquid protein diet. “I had literally starved myself for four months – not a morsel of food,” Winfrey recalled in 2005. “Two hours after that show, I started eating to celebrate – of course, within two days those jeans no longer fit!” Winfrey’s weight has yo-yoed to the delight of the tabloid press ever since. She weighed as many as 237 pounds and by late 1990 acknowledged she had regained most of the 67 pounds, saying “I’ll never diet again.” In 1994, she finished the Marine Corps Marathon and by 1996 hired personal trainer Bob Greene, saying her roller-coaster weight saga was over. But now, 20 years since the Calvin Klein jeans episode, Winfrey finds herself tipping the scales again, telling AP Television last week that she has yet to choose a gown for President-elect Barack Obama’s inaugural ball next month. “I had a dress on the vision board, but I’m not sure that’s gonna fit,” Winfrey said. “So I have to work on something else.” In the latest “O” magazine article, Winfrey writes that she hit rock bottom when she wanted to skip out on an April 26 taping with Cher and Tina Turner in Las Vegas. “I felt like a fat cow,” Winfrey writes. “I wanted to disappear.” Winfrey’s weight and height put her body mass index at 31.8, which is obese, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The CDC says people who are obese are “at higher risk for chronic conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes and high cholesterol.” It seems Winfrey is aware of the health risks, inviting both Greene and Dr. Mehmet Oz to her show during the first week of January, along with spirituality experts, sex therapists and financial expert Suze Orman. Winfrey also is expected to discuss her weight on her XM satellite radio station’s “The Gayle King Show” on Jan. 5 and will host interactive live Web casts at Oprah.com the week of Jan. 12 to 16 every night at 9 p.m. EST. Winfrey, an admitted food addict, sounds almost apologetic in her article. “I definitely wasn’t setting an example,” she writes. “I was talking the talk, but I wasn’t walking the walk. And that was very disappointing to me.” (Daily Record)
Why won’t Jessica Biel talk about Justin Timberlake? It’s simple, she says. “It’s the one part of my life that is my own and not for anyone else.” And, as Christmas approaches, Biel already has the best gift of all. Her relationship is “one sparkly present,” she tells the January issue of British GQ. “And I don’t want to open it in front of strangers.” Biel – currently starring in Easy Virtue – also opens up about the challenge of finding good roles as a woman in Hollywood. “Your face and your body can get your foot in the door, obviously. And I’m thankful for that,” she notes. “But I think it’s almost historical in Hollywood that there just aren’t so many good parts for women as they are for men. I think as long as you’re playing the wife or the girlfriend to the lead then you’re always playing second fiddle to the guys.” (People)
When Brandy talks about future goals, she doesn’t list No. 1 hits or a top-selling CD among them. Instead, she talks about more personal benchmarks, like learning to be more understanding, staying true to herself, and living her life with a purpose. “I don’t want to live my life in vain,” says Brandy, who released her first CD in four years, “Human,” this week. “That is the most important thing … not just to be here to be here.” Brandy’s new focus reflects lessons learned from a tumultuous time, including her involvement in a car accident that left one woman dead. The 2006 accident did not result in charges against Brandy, although she faces a lawsuit and has sued another party in the accident herself. The tragedy was a “life-changing” experience for the Grammy-winning singer/actress. “I don’t really know how to say it, because I don’t like to talk about it much,” she says quietly as she sits in a dressing room at BET’s “106 & Park” after delivering a rousing performance of her album’s first single, “Right Here (Departed).” “It was one of the hardest times in my life,” she says. “I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone.”
The accident came as Brandy, a former child actress who became a multiplatinum singing sensation as a teen, was in flux professionally. She had left longtime label Atlantic Records after disappointing sales of 2004’s “Afrodisiac,” her fourth CD, and was contemplating a career switch. “I didn’t really know what to do. I didn’t have a deal. I was just kind of, in limbo, but it was funny because that journey without music was very lonely,” says Brandy, a single mother to a young daughter. She went back to her roots in TV as a judge on the first season of “America’s Got Talent” in 2006, but even then, the former “Moesha” sitcom actress felt a void: “There were moments when I felt like I should have been on the stage.” The accident occurred Dec. 30, 2006, as Brandy was driving on the freeway. Traffic slowed and her Land Rover smashed into the back of a Honda. That car was involved in several other collisions. The driver, 38-year-old Awatef Aboudihaj, died in the accident. Even though the California Highway Patrol suggested charges be filed against Brandy, an investigation found insufficient evidence. Brandy credits family and friends for helping her from sinking into a depression. “Some of the things that people said about me was also very very tough,” she says, tears welling up as she talked about the accident. “I was involved in something that was life-changing. … I still feel the effects of that. It was a tough experience, and I don’t think that’s something that I could ever forget.” Music helped her. She reunited with longtime producer Rodney “Darkchild” Jenkins, linked up with Epic Records and co-wrote some of the album’s most personal songs, including the title track, on which she sings: “I make mistakes but I can’t turn back time, I’m only human, forgive me.” So far, her comeback has been solid, though not huge. She has had a respectable showing on the charts and “Right Here (Departed)” has gotten consistent radio play. “She’s been kind of out of the limelight for a little while, but she’s never stopped being a great singer,” says John Legend, who worked with Brandy for his latest CD, “Evolver.” “I’m glad she’s coming back.” Brandy is glad as well, eager to return as more than just a pop star this time. “I feel like my life isn’t in vain,” she says. “I’m actually contributing to uplifting people and inspiring people, and that feels great, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way before – ever.” (Daily Record)
Pamela Anderson tore up Miami during her weekend trip to Art Basel to support her good pal David LaChapelle. Anderson first went to the Miami Convention Center on Saturday to pose for photos with LaChapelle in front of his “Jesus Is My Homeboy” exhibit, wearing a gray T-shirt, yellow underwear and pink heels, and with mysterious bruise marks on her back. She next went to Liv to celebrate her nude Ocean Drive cover, escorted by LaChapelle and PETA head Dan Mathews. Anderson, who seemed unsteady on the red carpet, then drank absinthe before making out with Stephen Dorff, a witness said. Anderson ditched Dorff – after briefly passing out on LaChapelle’s shoulder – to hit up four other parties and was last seen Sunday morning around 11 a.m. in the lobby of the Fontainebleau coming in from her wild night with a young hot man “who was not Dorff.” A rep for Anderson didn’t return calls. (Page Six)
He’s willing to take on judges, so what’s a little animal-rights org for Kid Rock? The rock-vocateur says he’s ready to go to war with PETA: “I’m just willing the animal rights protestors to chuck some red paint on me,” he tells the Mail. “They do it to little Hollywood actresses who can’t defend themselves.” Kid adds he’s “got every kind of animal in my wardrobe.” Ironic, given Kid’s marriage to PETA poster child Pam Anderson. PETA, your serve. (TMZ)
No baby shall suffer the perils of cold footsies while Erik Estrada is on the case! We’re told while Estrada was on patrol as a reserve officer for Indiana’s Muncie Police Department, he risked his own safety for that of a child. Police say during one of Erik’s midnight shifts, “he spotted a man and his girlfriend walking with a baby in the snow in 10 degree weather at 2 AM … the baby was only dressed in pajamas.” That’s when Erik braved the freezing temperature and “got them inside.” A hero never rests. (TMZ)
LAPD came to Stevie Wonder’s house yesterday afternoon after one of the singer’s cousins showed up with a refrigerator. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ there has been an ongoing dispute between Stevie and his relative. Cops were called last Friday after the cuz showed up. The police told the cousin to leave and not to come back. But today the cousin showed up again at Stevie’s San Fernando Valley home, this time with a fridge and other personal items. He unloaded his stuff onto Stevie’s property — that’s when security called the LAPD. Cops showed up but Stevie, who was not there at the time, called in and asked the police to leave. Stevie said it was a “family matter.” When cops left, Stevie’s cousin had entered the guest house and was holed up there. (TMZ)
Madonna managed to spend a massive $1m at a hotel in Argentina last week as, along with her entourage, she enjoyed more than a bit of luxury on the South American stretch of her Sticky And Sweet tour. The singer, who was staying at the Four Seasons resort in Buenos Aires, is reported to have splashed out $9,000 a night on the hotel’s luxury suite (a private mansion and grounds), while her make-up artists and assistants took up another 110 rooms at $600 each. “”When they check out on Tuesday, with room service and extras the bill will top $1m (€782,528). This is the finest hotel in South America offering every luxury you could possibly imagine, and it doesn’t come cheap. We’ve had some pop stars and presidents before, but nothing quite like this,” a source said. (British Glamour)
Joe Biden isn’t much of a partier. The teetotaling vice-president-elect sipped water and stayed off the dance floor at Saturday’s surprise 40th birthday party for Kathleen Biden, the wife of his second son, Hunter Biden, at The Elephant restaurant on East First Street. The senator arrived 25 minutes late so his Secret Service detail wouldn’t ruin the surprise. Biden slipped out and headed back to Delaware at 10 p.m, though the rest of the Biden clan carried on until 2 a.m. (Page Six)
Michael Vick’s prison cell may soon be more of a home than his mother has — and it’s all his fault. Recent bankruptcy docs show Vick can’t afford to pay the $4700/month mortgage payments for his mother’s Suffolk home — and he’s hired a local realtor in Virginia to try and sell off the property. To make matters worse, his mom, Brenda Boddie, won’t earn her $100K income anymore — because she works for Michael’s company, which is now kaput. The home is one of several Vick bought when he blew through more than $18 mil over a couple of years. We reached Vick’s mother at home and she politely declined to speak with us. (TMZ)
Is The Real Housewives of Orange County on the verge of losing one of its original stars, Vicki Gunvalson? Sad to say, but it sounds like Vicki may be ready to go at the end of this fourth season. Asked if she wants to sign up for a fifth, she gives a terse, “No comment.” Why the possible about-face? Perhaps it has something to do with the problems she had with her husband of 14 years, Don, when they were filming the fourth season last summer. Vicki revealed to me yesterday that Don now “100 percent” regrets signing up for the reality show, especially after tonight’s episode, in which Vicki complains on the show that her “love tank is depleted” and she’s unsure if Don “can fill it up. “He’s a vice president of a company. He has to go to work the next day, and he has people saying, ‘Wow your wife really trashed ya again last night,’ ” Vicki said. “For a man, it’s horrible. All I could say to him is, ‘Honey, I love you. I’m sorry. Let’s get past it.’ And he was like, ‘You should have thought about that when you were blabbing about your stupid love tank.’ ”While Vicki says they’ve worked through their problems and now have an “amazing marriage,” she’s not happy about reliving the bad times as new episodes air each week. “It’s embarrassing,” she said. And then there were the issues Vicki had with the new Housewife, Gretchen Rossi. Gretchen has gone public on the show and with the media about not being a big fan of Vicki’s. Vicki says she and Gretchen will never be friends, but they patched things up this weekend when they ran into each other at the KIIS-FM’s Jingle Ball concert. “We hugged each other and I said, ‘Let’s move on; we’re big girls,’ ” Vicki said. “She agreed.” (Eonline)
Lily Allen has started another celebrity feud – this time with Katy Perry. The Smile singer said that the American singer had pinched her style and called her fat. “I happen to know for a fact that she was an American version of me. She was signed by my label in America as, ‘We need to find something controversial and kooky like Lily Allen.’ And they found her. I think the lyrics and stuff are a bit crass,” Lily told Capital FM. The British star, who has famously feuded with Amy Winehouse, Cheryl Cole and Elton John, also added: “When I met her [Katy Perry], I was a bit frosty with her because someone asked her to describe herself. She’s like, ‘Aha, I like a fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a skinnier version of Lily Allen’. It’s like, you’re not English and you don’t write your own songs…Shut up!” (British Glamour)
Wherever you are, DMX, you best start thinking about turning yourself in! The Maricopa County Sheriff’s office in Arizona is now offering a $5000 reward for information leading to the arrest of DMX. DMX – whose real name is Earl Simmons – is believed to be hiding out in Florida. He faces a $120,000 cash bond for charges of animal abuse, felony drug possession, traffic violations, and defrauding the Mayo Clinic of $7,500 in hospital bills. It’s RecessMas time and $5000 could buy a few (soon to be extinct) Bratz dolls and egg nog! (Perez Hilton)
Four years ago, millions of television viewers watched as a deaf couple marveled at the renovations to their home that would help them better accommodate their blind, autistic son. But now the couple, Judy and Larry Vardon, worry that the home could face foreclosure. They were featured in a two-hour episode of “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” that set a ratings record for the show when broadcast Nov. 6, 2004. Weighed down by a mortgage payment that has almost doubled since the makeover and medical insurance that doesn’t cover autism treatment for 16-year-old Lance, the Vardons are clinging to the hope that Larry will keep his job at Chrysler LLC’s Sterling Heights stamping plant. The company is on the brink of bankruptcy as it and the other Detroit automakers appeal to Congress for emergency loans. “I’m afraid I’m going to lose my house now,” Judy Vardon, using sign language through an interpreter, told The Macomb Daily of Mount Clemens. “This house really belongs to Lance. This is his environment. He can’t speak out for himself, and I hope we can save this house.” ABC said 20.5 million viewers saw a crew led by host Ty Pennington rehabilitate the Vardons’ 980-square-foot house near Detroit from the inside out, including installing cameras and flat-screen monitors allowing the Vardons to monitor Lance. After the makeover, the couple refinanced the mortgage, and their monthly payments have nearly doubled – from $1,200 to $2,300. They had debts of $20,000 for the boy’s therapy alone. “We didn’t have bad spending habits,” Judy Vardon said. “My husband got laid off for a time, and insurance wouldn’t cover Lance’s autism therapy and some other things like his vision and special dental work.” The couple are working with a nonprofit group that aids families in crisis to help them negotiate a lower mortgage rate. The Vardons remain grateful to “Extreme Makeover” and the volunteers who worked to renovate their house and make it safer for Lance. “We’re a close family that loves each other,” Judy Vardon said. “I feel that I was given this life to show others that you can face these challenges.” (Daily Record)
TV comedian Alan Carr has apologized for dedicating his British Comedy Award to Karen Matthews. Alan Carr has apologized for any offence he caused by dedicating his British Comedy Award to Karen Matthews, who last week was found guilty of the kidnap of her ‘missing’ daughter Shannon. When asked by press at Saturday’s awards who would be a dream guest on his Celebrity Ding Dong show Alan said he had originally planned a sketch to feature rough women not fashionistas. “It didn’t work out because they couldn’t cast it. I suppose it is a bit difficult to find rough women. I suppose Shannon Matthew’s mum was busy,” he said. “Oh yeah, she would be my dream guest. I think she’s a gay icon. People like a bit of rough don’t they? I must be obsessed with her actually if you look at my Google searches. So I should dedicate this award to her.” Junior Justice minister Shahid Malik, the MP for Dewsbury, West Yorkshire led the criticism of the comments. “I think Alan Carr can be funny on occasion but I think last night he really let himself down,” He told the Daily Mail. “I think most people think it to be both sick and insensitive and people will be disgusted with him at a time when many people are looking very closely at the comic/comedian profession anyway. This isn’t a helpful contribution either to the sad case of Shannon Matthews, where we’ve only just got a conviction, and Michael Donovan and Karen Matthews haven’t even been sentenced yet.” Alan has been quick to apologize, telling press, “I realize what I said was insensitive and I am very sorry for any offence caused.” (Handbag)
2008 celeb hookups _ and a split we saw coming: Finding a mate in 2008: That was the theme for many celebrities as they hooked up with new partners and sealed the deal in undercover weddings. Here’s a look at four notable couplings and one split we all saw coming: (Daily Record)
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JEN AND JOHN: John Mayer has dated everyone from Jessica Simpson to Jennifer Love Hewitt and this year, Jennifer Aniston’s body is his wonderland. Despite Mayer’s player reputation, a shockingly smitten Aniston followed Mayer on tour as his Public Groupie No. 1, not trying to hide under her trusty pashmina. The musician and the movie star have been on and off since last spring; during a break, the loose-lipped Mayer blabbed to the media about how he ended their romance. And yet, she’s taken him back, telling Vogue: “Love just shows up and you go, `Oh, wow, this is going to be a hayride and a half.’”
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LINDSAY AND SAM: After a string of go-nowhere relationships and plain bad choices, Lindsay Lohan is still going strong with disc jockey Samantha Ronson. The inseparable duo ignited an are-they-or-aren’t-they media frenzy when they were photographed getting cozy at the Cannes Film Festival in May. Lohan eventually confirmed the romance in a radio interview, saying she’d been dating Ronson “a very long time.” The celeb disc spinner has shown fierce loyalty to the actress as her once-bright career founders (following a trip to rehab and run-ins with the law). Tabloids report they’re on the rocks, but Lohan denied breakup rumors on her MySpace blog, posting the song “Happy Together” to drive the point across.
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JAY-Z AND BEYONCE: Jay-Z liked it, so he put a ring on it. The rap mogul and the singing superstar finally tied the knot after six years of unconfirmed dating in an April ceremony at his Manhattan apartment. The newlyweds tried to keep the lavish affair under wraps, but paparazzi made that impossible, catching arriving guests including Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. Though Beyoncé refuses to dish too much about her personal life, the “Single Ladies” singer told talk-show host Oprah Winfrey that marriage feels great, but “the most important thing is to make sure you have your own life before you’re someone else’s wife.” Cue applause.
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MARIAH AND NICK: Mariah Carey found love again with Nick Cannon, an actor 11 years her junior. And Mimi wasted no time when it comes to affairs of the heart: She married the “Drumline” star at her Bahamian estate in April after just weeks of dating. Like many celebrity couples, they shared (ahem, sold) their wedding album in People magazine, where they talked about tattooing their love for each other. Carey, who sports a “Mrs. Cannon” tattoo on her back, has said that she and her so-called soul mate didn’t consummate their relationship before tying the knot.
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MADONNA AND GUY: The least shocking split of the year, hands down. Madonna and Guy Ritchie weren’t fooling anyone when they denied rampant rumors of marital strife, thereby stoking that golden rule of celebrity gossip: Where there’s smoke, there’s fire! The pop star and the British filmmaker announced in October they were divorcing after nearly eight years of marriage and two children. Ever the workaholic-provocateur, Madonna has poked fun at Ritchie on her “Sticky & Sweet” world tour, and has been spotted with New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez. As she told The Associated Press, “It would be horrible if I was just thinking about getting a divorce and had nothing to do.”
Celebrity baby boom expands in 2008: The celebrity baby boom expanded into 2008 with the arrivals of newborns belonging to A-listers like Halle, Nicole, J.Lo and – most anticipated of all – the magnetic force known as Brangelina. (Daily Record)
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BRAD AND ANGELINA: Like Demi Moore raising the glass ceiling for actresses earning a $20 million paycheck, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt hit a new record payday selling their baby photos. Last summer, People magazine and the British tabloid Hello! paid $14 million in a joint deal to publish the first shots of the Jolie-Pitt clan with twins Knox and Vivienne, born in July. As is their custom, Jolie and Pitt traded media access for a donation to charity. The couple have said they hope to expand their brood – now six kids and counting. No one can stop them!
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JENNIFER AND MARC: Some people think Brangelina stole J.Lo’s twin thunder – actually, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony had them beat by four months. The married performers welcomed Max and Emme last February, waiting only weeks after Lopez gave birth to display the twin boy and girl on the cover of People. The magazine reportedly burned a $6 million hole in its pocket for rights to the photos.
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HALLE AND GABRIEL: The daughter of Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry will certainly grow up to be competition for future hotties like Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. A two-time divorcee, Berry ultimately found her Prince Charming – and impossibly gorgeous physical equal – in Aubry, a model she met while shooting a Versace ad two years ago. The Oscar-winning actress gave birth to Nahla Ariela Aubry in March. Berry has said she will never sell pictures of her children to the press, following in the footsteps of Julia Roberts and Nicole Kidman, who’ve turned down their own offers.
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NICOLE AND KEITH: Two years after tying the knot, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban welcomed baby girl Sunday Rose in July. The 41-year-old Kidman has called Sunday “a miracle baby,” crediting an unexpected fertility source: the waterfalls of the Australian Outback. According to Kidman, she and six other women who took a dip in the waters of a small town during production of the epic romance “Australia” became pregnant.
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JAMIE LYNN AND CASEY: It’s tough to top Britney Spears in the “OMG – no she didn’t!” category, but the pop star’s teenage sister, Jamie Lynn, did just that when she announced her pregnancy last December. The 17-year-old former “Zoey 101″ star swiftly became engaged to the baby’s father, Casey Aldridge, a pipe layer from Liberty, Miss. A baby having a baby, Jamie Lynn gave birth to their daughter Maddie Briann in June; a Spears being a Spears, she sold the photo rights to OK! magazine for a reported $1 million.
Year’s big celeb shockers, from Ledger to Hudson: A look at this year’s biggest celebrity shockers: (Daily Record)
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HEATH LEDGER: When news broke of Heath Ledger’s death at 28, the response was a collective, “You’re kidding, right?” The “Brokeback Mountain” star died of an accidental prescription drug overdose in January, and many months later, it was still tough to fathom. The Australia-born Ledger left behind a 3-year-old daughter and a bright career. He earned posthumous raves – and Oscar buzz – for his frightening performance as the Joker in the Batman blockbuster “The Dark Knight.”
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JENNIFER HUDSON’S TRAGEDY: The Oscar-winning actress and singer had a new fiancé and solo album to boot when her worst nightmare came true. In late October, Hudson’s mother and brother were found shot to death in the family home on Chicago’s South Side, where Hudson grew up. Adding to the heartbreak, a frantic search began for her missing 7-year-old nephew Julian, whose body was discovered days later in the back of an abandoned SUV. Hudson’s estranged brother-in-law, William Balfour, was formally charged with the triple murder the first week of December.
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TRAVIS BARKER/DJ AM PLANE CRASH: The punk musician and celebrity disc jockey went through hell and came out the other side – changed forever. After performing in South Carolina on Sept. 19, they boarded a private plane bound for Los Angeles that crashed and killed the two pilots and two of their close friends. The surviving duo fled the burning wreckage; DJ AM, whose real name is Adam Goldstein, jumped through a fireball. The near-death experience left the performers emotionally scarred and badly burned, requiring weeks of treatment at various burn centers. Back in good form, the pair will reunite to headline a New Year’s Eve party at a West Hollywood, Calif., nightclub.
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PAULA ABDUL FAN DEATH: The “American Idol” judge has lived through her share of drama, but she wasn’t prepared for the shocking death of Paula Goodspeed – an aspiring pop star and obsessed fan. Goodspeed, who grew up Sandra May McIntyre in her home state of Maine, was found dead Nov. 12 in a car near Abdul’s Los Angeles home. The 30-year-old had dreamed of stardom and expressed her admiration for Abdul during a train-wreck audition on season five of Fox’s “Idol” in which she was ridiculed for the braces on her teeth and a lack of talent. Goodspeed’s family members said she struggled with depression and eating disorders as her show business dreams fell apart. Goodspeed died of a drug overdose the day before she was to have moved back home with her mother.
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BERNIE MAC: Sending shock waves to his fans and celebrity friends, the comic actor died Aug. 9 in the Chicago area from complications due to pneumonia. Mac, who starred in his own TV sitcom and numerous movies including the “Ocean’s 11″ trilogy, did not live to see his final roles voicing the lion Zuba in “Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa” and starring alongside Samuel L. Jackson in “Soul Men.” Speaking before thousands of mourners at the 50-year-old’s memorial service, Jackson said: “He never turned that kid down for an autograph. He always had time to shake a hand. He was always that kid from Chicago who wanted to make everybody happy and everybody laugh.”
2008’s quirkiest baby names, from Bronx to Sunday: Remember the uproar over Gwyneth Paltrow naming her daughter Apple? That seems downright quaint in 2008. Check out the new additions in the category of quirkiest baby names: (Daily Record)
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BRONX MOWGLI: This year’s most unusual moniker, courtesy of Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz. He grew up near Chicago and she hails from Texas – yet, inexplicably, the rock-star couple named their son after one of the toughest boroughs in New York City. Giving some insight, Wentz revealed the middle name Mowgli was inspired by the scrappy boy hero of Disney’s “The Jungle Book.”
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SUNDAY ROSE: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban welcomed their baby girl on a Monday, then named her for the day before. Kidman has said Sunday is the couple’s favorite day of the week because it can be both lonely and happy depending on whether “you’ve got your family” around. They also found inspiration in Aussie art collector Sunday Reed, whose first name Kidman’s father suggested as a possibility. The baby’s second name is a tribute to Urban’s grandmother, Rose.
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ZUMA NESTA ROCK: When he’s old enough, Gwen Stefani’s baby boy might want to change his first name to something that sounds less like a certain clear malt beverage – and lose the other two names altogether. Then again, a child raised by music royalty – Stefani and hubby Gavin Rossdale – might fully embrace a moniker that spells nothing but embarrassment for regular kids. Stefani grew up in Southern California and loves Jamaican culture, which might explain her choice of Zuma (a beach in Malibu) and Nesta (the middle name of reggae legend Bob Marley).
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HONOR MARIE: An honorable mention – sorry, we couldn’t resist – goes to the daughter of Jessica Alba and her husband, Cash Warren. Honor should get a lifetime of instant respect, based on her first name alone. Latin in origin, Honor means “woman of honor” and denotes glory, dignity and high rank.
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BUSTER TIMOTHY: The name Buster has been around a long time – all the way back to the silent film era when comic actor Buster Keaton used sight gags to get laughs. The moniker struck a chord with married actors Jonny Lee Miller and Michele Hicks, who chose to name their son Buster Timothy. The couple balanced the quirkiness with a way more traditional second name.
Amy, Janet among celeb train wrecks of 2008: Surprisingly missing in action from celebrity trainwreck-itude: Britney, Lindsay and Paris. With those three behaving themselves, other stars angled for the title of Hot Mess of the Year. Here are five who made the cut: (Daily Record)
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AMY WINEHOUSE: The acclaimed soul singer continues to unravel in the public eye. Winehouse’s long list of problems – drug use, run-ins with the law and a dramatic marriage – seemingly multiplied this year after she won five Grammys for her 2006 album “Back to Black.” Concerns about her health grew as the 25-year-old Brit checked in and out of a London hospital, most recently for an allergic reaction to prescribed medication.
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GARY BUSEY AT THE OSCARS: Nobody brings the crazy quite like Gary Busey. The actor turned the Academy Awards’ red carpet into a danger zone this year when he ambushed Ryan Seacrest’s interviews with Jennifer Garner and Laura Linney. He stunned Garner with an unsolicited bear hug. He horrified the unflappable Seacrest, who ended the awkward moment by politely suggesting they catch up later in the evening – yeah, right. Busey, 64, is now on the second season of VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab,” where he tried to say he was part of the staff – until Dr. Drew Pinsky clarified that he’s a patient. When you don’t realize you have a problem, then you have problem.
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JANET JACKSON: The pop star – or is it pop has-been? – sank further into irrelevance as her new album tanked and she cut short her first North American tour in seven years due to health problems. In February, Jackson released the low-selling “Discipline,” which failed to reclaim the success of her previous multiplatinum albums; a month later, she dropped out of her performance on NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” because she had the flu. Mariah Carey replaced her in the telecast. The 42-year-old sister of Michael Jackson made headlines again when she canceled a string of dates on her “Rock Witchu” tour. Why? She had been suffering from a bout of migraine-associated vertigo, which is characterized by dizziness, imbalance and other symptoms.
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HEATHER LOCKLEAR: The 47-year-old actress has had a tough year. Locklear, who divorced Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora in 2007, checked into an Arizona rehab facility to get treatment for anxiety and depression last summer. In September, she was arrested in Montecito, Calif., on suspicion of driving under the influence of a controlled substance. Locklear was later charged with a misdemeanor DUI incurred by prescription drugs, and is scheduled for arraignment next month. There may be hope yet: Looking fresh in a white dress, Locklear recently joked about her troubles on NBC’s “Tonight” show, telling host Jay Leno: “I am really looking forward to 2009.”
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THE O’NEAL FAMILY: Oh, what a mess. What a hot mess. Actor Ryan O’Neal and his children ran into trouble with the law for a series of drug busts. O’Neal – who was arrested in February following a scuffle with son Griffin – found himself embroiled in scandal yet again in September when police discovered drugs in his Malibu, Calif., home during a routine parole check on Redmond O’Neal, his son with Farrah Fawcett. Father and son were arrested and released on $10,000 bail; O’Neal’s lawyer denied any wrongdoing by the 67-year-old actor and asked a judge for more time to review evidence in the felony drug cases. O’Neal’s daughter, Tatum O’Neal, was arrested for allegedly buying cocaine near her New York apartment last summer; she attributed the slip-up in her sobriety to a moment of weakness. In a statement of support for her father and Redmond, she said: “Addiction, if untreated, can lead to jail, institutions and death. I love them both and I am sorry to hear about this.”
Former Hollywood has-beens turn it around in 2008: Who woulda thunk it? After downward spirals, former Hollywood pariahs Britney Spears, Mickey Rourke and Robert Downey Jr. managed to turn it around this year. And file under TV turnaround: NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” became culturally relevant again. (Daily Record)
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BRITNEY SPEARS: What was more stunning – the fact that Spears snagged three MTV Video Music Awards (including video of the year) or that she looked like a million bucks while doing so? Either way, the pop star – sporting a glittering silver dress and a slimmer body – pulled a remarkable 180-degree turn from last year’s fiasco at the VMAs, when she trudged through a performance of “Gimme More.” It was a striking example of how far the 27-year-old mother of two has risen since her father, Jamie, took control of her financial and private affairs in February. Spears, who famously shaved her head during one of her public meltdowns, continues to gain career momentum and stability in her personal life. Delighting her fans, the “Womanizer” singer will kick off her first tour in five years this March.
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MICKEY ROURKE: The 52-year-old actor more or less peaced out from Hollywood after squandering his early potential with bad-boy behavior. But thanks to his leading role in “The Wrestler,” Rourke is reliving the critical acclaim of his work in films such as “The Pope of Greenwich Village,” “Diner” and “Rumble Fish.” Director Darren Aronofsky fought to cast Rourke against the concerns of financial backers; Aronofsky forged a comprise by settling on a lower budget of $6 million. So far, so good: Rourke is getting strong Oscar buzz, and the poignancy of his heartbreaking turn as a down-and-out celebrity wrestler itching to make a comeback isn’t lost on him. As he told The Associated Press: “There were some broken pieces I didn’t know how to fix that made me behave a certain way. … I wish I knew differently, because I put myself and a lot of other people through a lot of hell that I regret.”
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ROBERT DOWNEY JR: The charismatic actor went from cautionary tale to bankable movie star last summer for his performance in the Marvel Studios blockbuster “Iron Man,” which grossed $318.3 million domestically. He also got raves for his risk-taking role as an actor in blackface in “Tropic Thunder.” Like Rourke, Downey had trouble finding plum roles that exploited the depth of his talent after some personal trouble – and Downey’s dark path included a crippling battle with addiction that led to stints in jail and rehab. Now clean, Downey proved he could draw millions to the multiplex last summer as billionaire genius-turned-superhero Tony Stark. That’s something new for Downey, who previously acted in smaller-scale movies. And he’ll do it again: Marvel has tapped him to star in “Iron Man 2″ and “The Avengers,” respectively slated for 2010 and 2011.
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“SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE”: The NBC sketch-comedy show returned to sharp political satire this year – and the payoff was big. Dogged by dwindling ratings, “SNL” experienced a much-needed boost, finding inspiration in the presidential campaign and a savior in the multitalented Tina Fey. Fey’s spot-on impression of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin helped resurrect the show as appointment television for viewers who couldn’t get enough of her winking send-up of the Alaskan governor. Don’t rule out Amy Poehler’s brilliant Hillary Rodham Clinton or Jason Sudeikis’ teeth-baring Joe Biden. Time will tell if “SNL” can continue its winning streak. If the sketches are able to mine laughs from an Obama administration, then you betcha.
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CLORIS LEACHMAN: The bitingly funny actress gained a new generation of fans with her crowd-pleasing run on ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars.” At 82, she wore sparkly dance costumes, sat in judges’ laps and cussed during the live television broadcast – displaying 1,000 times more personality than beauty queen Brooke Burke, who waltzed away with the mirror-ball trophy in the Nov. 26 finale. After her early dismissal, Leachman declared: “I’m not leaving.” Here’s hoping the star, who nabbed an Oscar for her supporting role in 1971’s “The Last Picture Show,” will be here to stay.
Celebrities get their day in court in 2008: Stargazing at Los Angeles courthouses is common, but most of the A-list celebrity justice action took place away from Hollywood in 2008. Jurors in Florida, Chicago and Las Vegas decided the fates of top celebs in criminal cases, while New York played host to the year’s messiest divorce. Los Angeles wasn’t completely left out, thanks in large part to Britney Spears. Here’s a recap of stars who kept attorneys flush in billable hours: (Daily Record)
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WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS … : Thirteen years after his acquittal for his wife’s murder, jurors in Las Vegas pronounced judgment on O.J. Simpson. Guilty. The conviction came after authorities charged Simpson with spearheading the robbery of a sports memorabilia dealer in a Sin City hotel room.
Attorneys for the former football great and occasional actor claim jurors were out to punish Simpson for his murder acquittal and plan to appeal his conviction. A teary apology during sentencing didn’t change his fate. For at least the next nine years, and possibly as many as 33, Simpson will spend his days at a prison 45 miles northwest of Las Vegas – just outside the glow of that city’s lights and his former fame.
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AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER: Former model Christie Brinkley’s 10-year marriage to fourth husband Peter Cook may have ostensibly ended in 2006, but the couple’s weeklong divorce trial burned hotter than a heat wave. A week’s worth of testimony provided embarrassing details of Cook’s affair with an 18-year-old woman, his porn predilections and a psychiatrist’s assessment that he was “narcissistic.” Cook’s attorney likened the trial to a public flogging and, sure enough, it ended on a theatrical note. The couple settled the case after an all-nighter, with Brinkley gaining custody of her children and some property in the Hamptons. She left court carrying a dinosaur diorama she helped one of her children prepare. Cook walked away with about $2.1 million and very little dignity.
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IT’S BRITNEY, YOUR HONOR: Not all comebacks involve courtrooms and a cadre of lawyers, but Britney Spears’ sure did. The singer started out the year in meltdown but seemed better within months of a court awarding her father control of her personal and financial affairs. Along the way, Spears landed in just about every court possible: criminal, probate, family law, federal, appeals. All that to establish a conservatorship, settle a custody dispute with ex-husband Kevin Federline and avoid a conviction on a misdemeanor driver’s license charge. The deal with Federline grants her more time with her children, and she managed to avoid further legal woes. None of this came cheap: she increased her monthly payments to Federline, paid his hefty attorney fees and continues to pay thousands of dollars a month to keep the conservatorship going. Is it any wonder her new album is called “Circus”?
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FREE BIRD: The man who belted out to audiences that he believed he could fly finally showed he would walk – on criminal charges. Jurors in Chicago acquitted R. Kelly of charges he videotaped himself having sex with a girl as young as 13. The monthlong trial ended with Kelly crying as his acquittal was read. Jurors never heard from Kelly, nor the young woman who prosecutors said appeared on the sex tape with the Grammy winner.
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THE TAXMAN COMETH: “Passenger 57″ got a new identifier in ‘08 – a federal prisoner ID number. A federal jury acquitted Wesley Snipes of tax fraud and conspiracy charges in February, but found him guilty of three counts of failing to file income tax returns. Snipes stopped paying taxes in 1999, and was convicted of failing to file returns for that year and 2000 and 2001. Government prosecutors wanted to make Snipes a poster child for why paying your taxes is essential. The “Blade” actor avoided more serious penalties, but a judge sentenced him to three years in federal prison – and that was after Snipes gave the government $5 million. He was also ordered to repay the costs of his prosecution. The credits haven’t quite rolled on this one yet: Snipes is appealing his convictions and remains free on bail.
MUSIC . . .
Britney Spears’ latest CD, “Circus,” has landed her back at a familiar position – No. 1. The singer’s comeback CD – actually, make that her second comeback CD – will top the album charts next week, according to her label, Jive. Though Nielsen SoundScan does not release its official figures until Wednesday, estimates have the record selling as many as 500,000 copies in its first week of release. “This is going to reinforce her icon status,” said Barry Weiss, chairman and CEO of the BMG Label Group, which includes Spears’ label. “It’s not just a No. 1 album.”
Indeed, it’s not. For Spears, who has rebounded after a disastrous year that included rehab, a custody battle for her two sons and court-ordered supervision by her father, it is another step in her bid to reclaim her status among pop’s elite. “At the end of the day, I think she is America’s pop princess, and the world’s pop princess, and this just reconfirms it to everyone who doubted it,” said her manager, Larry Rudolph. While her last CD, “Blackout,” also debuted at No.1 when it was released in October 2007, it quickly fizzled on the U.S. charts, despite receiving critical acclaim, because Spears didn’t really promote it amid the chaos in her life. Things appear to be different this time around. Spears has been showing off her dancing moves and taut body during high-profile appearances on shows like ABC’s “Good Morning America” and was also the focus of a documentary, “Britney: For the Record.” The special, executive produced by Rudolph, aired on MTV in the days before the release of “Circus.” “The documentary had a huge role,” said Rudolph. “People were able to see Britney, to see her tell her story. I think they got the true sense of who she is, and they appreciated it.” “Circus,” which debuted to mainly positive reviews, was released on the singer’s 27th birthday, Dec. 2. The CD’s first single, “Womanizer,” was a No. 1 hit, and her latest single, “Circus,” was the most added song at pop radio, her label said. Spears plans a nationwide tour that is set to kick off March 3 in New Orleans. Weiss said Jive decided to release “Circus” just a year after “Blackout” because of the strength of the music, and said recording the CD was a great constructive outlet for the singer. Rudolph said when it comes to crunching the numbers, Spears is not all that interested in how many copies she sold the first week or her chart positions. But, he added: “Professionally, she’s feeling great. … It’s great for her to hear that she’s got a No. 1 album again.” One of entertainment’s biggest names, Spears has been a multiplatinum sensation since she made her debut over a decade ago. She’s sold more than 30 million albums in the United States alone. (Daily Record)
Jennifer Hudson is getting back to work. The singer is set to begin filming a video next week for her single, “If This Isn’t Love,” according to her label, J Records. Hudson was due to film the clip in Los Angeles when her mother, Darnell Hudson Donerson, and brother, Jason Hudson, were discovered shot to death in their Chicago home on the city’s South Side on Oct. 24. The body of her nephew, 7-year-old Julian King, was found in a sport utility vehicle three days later. Hudson’s estranged brother-in-law, William Balfour, who is married to Hudson’s sister Julia, has been charged in the slayings. Prosecutors have said Balfour was upset Julia had been dating another man. Hudson has been in seclusion since the killings. However, she has thanked the public for their support since the tragedy, and last week issued a statement after she was nominated for four Grammy awards, including best R&B album for her self-titled debut. “It’s been a childhood dream of mine to release an album, so to receive four Grammy nominations is truly a blessing,” she said. “I am extremely honored and humbled by the nominations.” Hudson – also an Academy Award-winning actress – was reaching a new career peak at the time of the killings. She had just released her first CD, and was also starring in the movie “The Secret Life of Bees.” She was featured in the summer blockbuster “Sex and the City” and sang the national anthem the night President-Elect Barack Obama accepted the Democratic presidential nomination in Denver. She has recently been featured in ads for the Gap, but those images were shot well before the murders. (Daily Record)
X Factor judge Cheryl Cole has revealed her desire to move into artist management. Girls Aloud star Cheryl Cole has said she would like to break into pop management like her X Factor co-judges Louis Walsh and Simon Cowell. “Simon and I think alike and I’d like to manage some acts like he does,” she told The Sun when asked if she had any plans to develop young talent into successful acts. “Someone said I’m the female version of Simon – I don’t quite know how to take that!” (Handbag)
Singer Dido has been heavily criticized for including lyrics from an Irish Republican protest song on her new album. Dido has been slammed for including the lyrics from a controversial Irish Republican song on her new album. On new album track Let’s Do The Things We Normally Do the singer has used lined from The Men Behind The Wire, a tribute to provisional IRA men written by Paddy McGuigan and recently associated with extreme republican movements such as the Real IRA and Continuity IRA. In the track Dido sings ‘Armoured cars and tanks and guns, Came to take away our sons, But every man must stand behind, The men behind the wire.’ “Given her Irish roots, it is inconceivable that she doesn’t know the background of the wording,” Gregory Campbell, MP for East Londonderry angrily told the Daily Mail. “She must know it was written about people who were murderers, arsonists and terrorists. She should clarify her position so that her fans and the wider public knows where she stands on these things.” (Handbag)
Sources reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com that German “band” Tokio Hotel has been lipsynching and miming all of their performances in America. The “band” has been playing a round of radio holiday shows recently, and according to multiple sources, the lead singer is not singing live and the band isn’t even playing their instruments live. Straight-up fakery! Our source even provided us with the band’s set list from one of the recent radio holiday shows, which indicates when to turn the mic back on for lead singer Bill Kaulitz to address the audience. Pathetic!!!!!! (Perez Hilton)
Death Cab For Cutie, Snoop Dogg, Ryan Adams and the Cardinals, Dashboard Confessional, Broken Social Scene and Girl Talk lead the bill for the seventh Langerado Music Festival, to be held March 6-8 at Bicentennial Park in Miami. Thievery Corporation, Slightly Stoopid, Flogging Molly, Chromeo, Mute Math, Black Kids, Gym Class Heroes, the Faint, the Pogues, Zac Brown Band, Matisyahu, Disco Biscuits, Umphrey’s McGree, Robert Randolph and the Family Band, Michael Franti and Spearhead and the Virgins are also confirmed. Tickets go on sale Friday (Dec. 12) from Langerado.com. The event will also encompass late night shows in and around Miami, with details to be announced. Last year’s Langerado Festival, held at Big Cypress Seminole Indian Reservation in the Florida Everglades, featured R.E.M., Built To Spill, Of Montreal, the Beastie Boys, the Roots, Gov’t Mule, 311, the National, Phil Lesh and Matisyahu, among others. The four-day festival drew about 25,000 people per day and grossed $4.3 million, according to festival co-producer Evan Schwartz. Schwartz told Billboard in September he and Langerado Festival co-producer Mark Brown have diversified the event’s lineup over the past four years. “We started out as a jam-oriented festival,” he said. “It’s more exciting for us to put together these lineups every year, because there is so much great music out there.” (Billboard)
U.K. rock act Blur will reform for an open-air show in London’s Hyde Park next summer. The band has been on hiatus following the campaign for its album “Think Tank” (Parlophone). The Hyde Park show takes place on July 3 and is promoted by Live Nation and Metropolis Music, in association with CMO management and booking agent X-Ray Touring. Guitarist Graham Coxon, who quit the band for a solo career in 2002, has signed up to the reunion, which features the full original lineup of frontman Damon Albarn, drummer Dave Rowntree and bassist Alex James. There has also been speculation in U.K tabloid the Sun that Blur will headline the Glastonbury festival in June, but there has been no official confirmation. Coxon last performed with Blur in 2000 at London’s Royal Festival Hall. While he has focused on solo albums, Albarn has worked on several projects outside Blur, including the animated group Gorillaz and the Mandarin language opera, “Monkey: Journey To The West.” The band, which formed 20 years ago, released seven studio albums, five of them reaching No. 1 in the U.K. (Billboard)
…And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead has put the finishing touches on its next album, “The Century of Self,” which is due Feb. 17. It will be the first release on the band’s Richter Scale imprint in conjunction with Justice Records. The tracks “Bells of Creation” and “Inland Sea,” which re-establish the dark, punishing rock of classics like 2002’s “Source Tags & Codes,” have already been previewed on the “Festival Thyme” EP. Other highlights include “Pictures of an Only Child,” which begins as a subdued wash of sound before bursting into a loud, chugging chorus; the bracing “Far Pavilions,” with shouted counterpoint vocals from drummer Jason Reece; and “Fields of Coal,” which has an inspirational chorus almost in the vein of an old field worker’s song. Elsewhere, acoustic guitar and piano carry “Luna Park,” while “Insatiable” is mostly frontman Conrad Keely and piano. “The Century of Self” was produced by Chris Coady (TV On The Radio, Yeah Yeah Yeahs) and features backing vocal contributions from members of Yeasayer and Dragons Of Zynth. “On the last two albums, we were really meticulous recording to click-tracks and doing overdubs,” Keely told Billboard in August. “This time, we threw all that out. We learned the songs and all tracked live.” A longtime Austin resident, Keely moved to New York a couple years ago and quickly found himself inspired by local bands such as Yeasayer and Dirty Projector. “Suddenly I was almost overloaded with all this new music, and wondering how we could come close to matching it?,” he says. “That inspiration came into a lot of the writing.” Here is the track list for “The Century of Self”:
“Giants Causeway”
“Far Pavilions”
“Isis Unveiled”
“Halcyon Days”
“Bells of Creation”
“Fields of Coal”
“Inland Sea”
“Luna Park”
“Pictures of an Only Child”
“Insatiable One”
“Ascending”
“An August Theme”
“Insatiable Two” (Billboard)
Jamie Foxx says he wanted his new album, “Intuition,” to bang a little harder than his chart-topping, double-platinum 2005 release “Unpredictable.” “‘Unpredictable” was more, like, slow, bedroom things, which was great but when I went on the road we had all these ballads, so sometimes I had to work a little harder to keep people’s attention,” the singer and actor tells Billboard.com. “With (‘Intuition’), we’ve got all these legitimate club, international hits and the tempo is up. People hear this record and go absolutely nuts for it.” Foxx spent the better part of the past two years working on “Intuition,” which comes out December 16 via J. He’s assembled a Grammy-pedigreed cast of guests and producers, including T.I. (on the first single, “Just Like Me”), Kanye West, the-Dream and Tricky Stewart, Ne-Yo, Fabolous, Timbaland and Floetry’s Marsha Ambrosius. “Number One,” with Lil Wayne, is currently being “floated” into the clubs, while “Blame It,” with T-Pain, is slated to be worked in mid-January. “I think people are slowly wanting to work with me more as far as music is concerned,” notes Foxx, who studied piano on a scholarship to United States International University. “I do run into a lot of roadblocks. I’ve been trying to break down those sort of preconceived thoughts that this is just a hobby to me or … ‘He’s already got enough.’ People want to work with you, but sometimes they don’t take it seriously until they hear the records and see the direction I’m going with. I think it’ll be even easier to get people to feature with me for the next record.” Foxx says that could come as early as a year from now as he seeks to “get my content up.” He plans to tour for “Intuition” in the spring, after he finishes a 10-week shoot for “Law Abiding Citizen,” a drama with Jerry Butler. His next film, “The Soloist” — the true-life story of homeless cello virtuoso Nathaniel Ayers — is due in theaters this March. “I just see something really high-energy,” Foxx says of the shows. “I see myself probably with Ne-Yo, out on the road, a little different demographic than what ‘Unpredictable’ was. A high-energy, great show — just hit ‘em and quit ‘em.” (Launch)
With archival releases, documentaries and even a Broadway musical on tap, Berry Gordy, Jr., says there will be nowhere to run and nowhere to hide from the celebration of Motown’s 50th anniversary during the coming two years. Gordy, who founded the Motown empire after securing an $800 loan from his family on January 12, 1959, tells Billboard.com that “I’ve been fighting to protect the legacy for 50 years, and now it seems that after 50 years we can go and talk about the real deal, what really happened … and how it happened, my story and everything that goes with it. And I’m just thrilled that I’m here to enjoy now what I couldn’t enjoy while I was doing it.” The official Motown 50th celebration kicks off Tuesday with the release of “Motown: The Complete No. 1’s,,” a 10-disc set housed in a package designed to look like the company’s original Hitsville U.S.A. headquarters in Detroit. Gordy and former Motown staffer Suzanne DePasse, who won a 1983 Emmy Award for the Motown 25th anniversary TV special, are also producing a Motown documentary that’s due to roll out in September. “It’s about me and … not only what I did and how I did it but how I felt doing it and what it was that happened, from my standpoint,” explains Gordy. Among the footage is a videotaped session of one of the company’s famed weekly Quality Control meetings, at which staffers argued over whether to release the Temptations’ “My Girl” as a single. A Broadway musical about Motown is due to open in 2010, and Gordy says there will also be “long-form, multi-part videos” about the company’s history “because there’s so much to tell. The documentary is just a two-hour thing.” Universal Music Enterprises, which handles Motown’s archival releases, is also planning to support the activity with online podcasts and other special features. More retrospective titles are expected to come out over the course of the celebration, and the Motown Historical Museum in Detroit is planning a series of special events for 2009, including an In Their Own Words series with Motown alumni that will kick off January 12, a Marvin Gaye exhibit in April and a pumped-up version of its annual gala and concert in November. “It’s just a unique situation,” Gordy notes, “and I’m the major recipient of that now because I can look back. It’s a different kind of enjoyment. I enjoyed making the records. I enjoyed dealing with the people. Now I can look at it a different way and say, ‘OK, we did it. We really did it.’” (Launch)
MOVIE . . .
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were accompanied by two special guests at Monday’s Los Angeles premiere of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Pitt’s mom and dad! Jane Etta Hillhouse and William Pitt walked the carpet with the couple. Pitt’s father was photographed with his arms around the actress. As for the clan’s holiday plans? “We’re feeling our way through it,” Pitt told Entertainment Tonight. “I’m very, very proud,” Jolie told a href=”http://www.etonline.com/news/2008/12/68632/index.html” target=”_blank”>ET. “Mainly, I have seen everyday he went to work just how hard he worked, how hard the director worked, and Cate [Blanchett] — and just how dedicated they were. It’s been a big process; it’s a very trying film. So, I am just so happy that it came out so beautifully and their work is going to be recognized. Jolie then asked Pitt’s mother what she though of the film. “I cried, it’s so beautiful,” she said. “It’s so touching. It’s lovely; it’s just a wonderful picture.” Pitt went on to say he is proud of Button (out Dec. 25) because it’s “in the vein of the classics. “And a kind of classic epic, dealing with life and love, and all that fantastic stuff, so yeah that’s the idea,” he added. He told ET that director David Fincher took the film to a whole new level “You can feel a film when something’s happening off the page,” Pitt said. “And yeah certainly felt it on this one. Fincher’s done an extraordinary, extraordinary job here. I find it quite special.” Pitt and Jolie weren’t the only A-Listers at Monday’s premiere: Jennifer Lopez, Sharon Stone and Eva Longoria Parker also turned out to watch the film, which follows the life of a man (Pitt) who is born old and ages backwards as he advances in years. (US Weekly)
Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler may soon be heating up the big screen. According to Variety, they’re in talks to headline an untitled bounty hunter comedy by the director of Hitch. The flick centers on a bounty hunter (Butler) who is hired to retrieve his ex-wife (Aniston), who has skipped bail. Shooting could begin in May. Aniston recently told USA Today she’d “like to” branch out movie-wise. “It’s good,” she said of the bounty hunter film. “It’s not definite yet.” Butler and Aniston were romantically linked earlier this year, but Butler laughed off rumors. When asked if he’s taken any ladies to lunch lately, he joked with Usmagazine.com, “Oh, you know, Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz, Julia Roberts, Cindy Crawford – and I may even get together with a single one.” (US Weekly)
In the annals of journalism, most people’s memories begin and end with the publication of the Pentagon Papers and the Watergate investigation. But if some serious-minded Hollywood filmmakers have their say, a third will be added to that vaunted list: the Arizona Project. Ben Affleck is in negotiations to follow up his directing debut, “Gone Baby Gone,” with the story of the death of Arizona journalist Don Bolles and the events it provoked. Sheldon Turner (“The Longest Yard”) has written the screenplay. Producer Sean Bailey (“Matchstick Men”) found the story — mostly forgotten outside Arizona — and brought it to Turner and Affleck, who developed a pitch and sold it to Miramax. In 1976, Bolles was a reporter for the Arizona Republic looking into political corruption and the convergence of New York, Chicago and Detroit mobsters in Phoenix. When lured to a downtown hotel by a source who didn’t show up, Bolles was blown up in his car. He died days later. The group of elite national journalists that Bolles had been trying to organize at the time, Investigative Reporters and Editors, responded to the murder by convening dozens of investigative reporters in Phoenix from 23 different newspapers and launching an unprecedented crusade to finish Bolles’ work. Although the result involved 40 articles exposing corruption in the state, many criticized the effort as vigilantism, including former presidential candidate and Arizona Senator Barry Goldwater. Cori Stevens is executive producing. Justin Springer at Ideaology brought the project into the company. Turner, who is repped by CAA, is working on the Enron story “Conspiracy of Fools” with director Robert Schwentke for Warner Bros. and “X-Men Origins: Magneto” with director David Goyer for Fox. Bailey and Affleck, both Endeavor clients, have several other projects in development together. Affleck will next be seen on camera in the New Line comedy “He’s Just Not That Into You” in February. (Hollywood Reporter)
With eight nominations each, romantic fable “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” and the political biography “Milk” are atop the list as the nominees for the fourth annual Critics Choice Awards, announced Tuesday morning. “The Dark Knight,” “Doubt” and “Slumdog Millionaire” followed close behind with six noms each. The Broadcast Film Critics Assn., representing more than 200 film critics in the U.S. and Canada, votes for the awards, which often proves to be a harbinger of Oscar nominations. To hedge its bets, the group nominates 10 movies for best picture: In addition to the aforementioned films, that group contained “Changeling,” “Frost/Nixon,” “The Reader,” “WALL-E” and “The Wrestler.” Clint Eastwood personally scored two noms — as best actor for his turn as an irascible ex-Marine in “Gran Torino” and as the composer of “Changeling.” In the best actor heat, he will face off against Richard Jenkins (“The Visitor”), Frank Langella (“Frost/Nixon”), Sean Penn (“Milk”), Brad Pitt (“Button”) and Mickey Rourke (“The Wrestler”). Pitt’s “Button” co-star Cate Blanchett was nominated for best actress, along with Kate Beckinsale (“Nothing but the Truth”), Anne Hathaway (“Rachel Getting Married”), Angelina Jolie (“Changeling”), Melissa Leo (“Frozen River”) and Meryl Streep (“Doubt”). But while Eastwood could have been nominated for best director for both “Changeling” and “Gran Torino,” he didn’t make it into that category. Instead, the five directing nominees were Danny Boyle (“Slumdog”), David Fincher (“Button”), Ron Howard (“Frost/Nixon”), Christopher Nolan (“The Dark Knight”) and Gus Van Sant (“Milk”). Recognized among the best picture nominees, Disney/Pixar’s “WALL-E” also popped up in the animated film category along with “Bolt,” “Kung Fu Panda, “Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa” and “Waltz With Bashir.” Best feature nominee “The Dark Knight” also was nominated for best action movie along with “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” “Iron Man,” “Quantum of Solace” and “Wanted.” The nominees for best comedy ranged from the dry humor of “Burn After Reading” and the cosmopolitan wit of “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” to broader jokefests such as “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Role Models” and “Tropic Thunder.” Two of “Milk’s” actors — James Franco, who plays Harvey Milk’s lover, and Josh Brolin, who appears as a political rival — were nominated in the best supporting actor category along with Robert Downey Jr. (“Tropic Thunder”), Philip Seymour Hoffman (“Doubt”) and the late Heath Ledger (“Dark Knight”). Kate Winslet failed in her bid for a best actress nomination for “Revolutionary Road” — her co-star in that film, Leonardo DiCaprio, also didn’t make the list of nominees — but she earned a supporting actress nom for “The Reader” and will compete with Penelope Cruz (“Barcelona”), Viola Davis (“Doubt”), Vera Farmiga (“Nothing but the Truth”), Traji P. Henson (“Button”) and Marisa Tomei (“The Wrestler”). The awards, set for Jan. 8 at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium, will be broadcast by VH1. The nominations, announced by Rosie Perez, “At the Movies” hosts Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz and VH1 president Tom Calderone, were announced Tuesday morning at the MTV Networks studios in Times Square. Other nominations included: (Hollywood Reporter)
Best acting ensemble: “Button,” “Knight,” “Doubt,” “Milk” and “Rachel.”
Best writer: Simon Beaufoy, “Slumdog”; Dustin Lance Black, “Milk”; Peter Morgan, “Frost/Nixon”; Eric Roth, “Button”; and John Patrick Shanley, “Doubt.”
Best young actor/actress (under 21): Dakota Fanning, “The Secret Life of Bees”; David Kross, “The Reader”; Dev Petal, “Slumdog”; and Brandon Walters, “Australia.”
Best picture made for television: “John Adams,” “Recount” and “Coco Chanel.”
Best foreign-language film: “A Christmas Tale,” “Gomorra,” “I’ve Loved You So Long,” “Let the Right One In,” “Mongol” and “Waltz With Bashir.”
Best documentary feature: “I.O.U.S.A.,” “Man on Wire,” “Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired,” “Standard Operating Procedure” and “Young at Heart.”
Best song: “Another Way to Die,” Jack White and Alica Keys/Jack White, “Quantum of Solace”; “Down to Earth,” Peter Gabriel/Peter Gabriel and Thoms Newman, “WALL-E”; “I Thought I Lost You,” Miley Cyrus and John Travolta/Miley Cyrus and Jeffrey Steele, “Bolt”; “Jaiho,” Sukwinder Singh/A.R. Rahman and Gulzar, “Slumdog”; and “The Wrestler,” Bruce Springsteen/Bruce Springsteen, “The Wrestler.”
Best composer: Alexandre Desplat, “Button”; Eastwood, “Changeling”; Danny Elfman, “Milk”; Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard, “Dark Knight”; and A.R. Rahman, “Slumdog.”
TV . . .
Paula Abdul has laughed off rumors new American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi was hired to replace her, insisting the newest judge is her close friend, former roommate and songwriting partner. Abdul admits even show boss Simon Cowell had no idea the pair were pals when he gave DioGuardi a job on the judging panel of the hit reality TV series. But the singer is adamant Cowell has no chance of driving a wedge between them to create drama onscreen – because the pair have such a strong bond. She explains, “This one has backfired on him. Ten years ago on a rainy day in New York a girl comes up and says, ‘You’re Paula Abdul. There’s a signed thank you letter you wrote in my boss’ office.’ I asked who her boss was, and he was the president of Billboard magazine. So I invited her to lunch, and we wrote a song that day, on a napkin. “It turned out to be the biggest song for Kylie Minogue ever (Spinning Around). It hit number one all over Europe. I then listened to her demos and told her to give two weeks notice and I moved her into my home in L.A., and we became the best roommates. “She has since become one of the most successful songwriters. And now she is on this show, of all people.” (Teen Hollywood)
Jay Leno is staying at NBC, and he’s moving to prime time. The network announced Tuesday that Leno will host a show five nights a week at 10 p.m. Eastern, after he leaves the “Tonight” show next year. The network had announced nearly five years ago that Conan O’Brien would move to “Tonight” and succeed Leno. The deal not only prevents Leno from moving to another network and competing with O’Brien, it also has the potential to be a big cost savings for NBC. A talk show is considerably cheaper to produce than the dramas that usually air at 10 p.m. Eastern. Leno could now deliver his nightly monologue and sketches to more viewers. Generally about 50 percent more people are watching TV at 10 p.m. than at 11:30 p.m. Dramas used to be a mainstay of network schedules, and NBC’s own history at the time slot includes “ER,” “Hill Street Blues,” “Law & Order” and “L.A. Law.” Yet dramas have been fading in recent years. One reason is digital video recorders; more people are watching shows they taped earlier than the live 10 p.m. shows. Ten years ago, “ER” was the top-rated show in television, with an average of 25.4 million viewers. This season, its last, “ER” is averaging 9.9 million viewers and is ranked No. 33 in prime time. Besides “ER,” NBC this season airs “Law & Order” and its “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” spinoff in the 10 p.m. time slot – both shows that could easily move to an earlier hour. “My Own Worst Enemy” and “Lipstick Jungle,” shows in the 10 p.m. hour on Monday and Friday, have already been canceled. NBC had said last summer that Leno’s last “Tonight” show would be on Friday, May 29, and that O’Brien would take over the following Monday, June 1. Jimmy Fallon is taking over the 12:30 a.m. time slot that O’Brien is vacating. (Daily Record)
Chuck and Blair can’t really be over…Can they? And Chuck doesn’t really go tumbling to his death…Right?! This is what many of you fellow Gossip Girl fans are asking (shrieking) after tonight’s heart-stopping episode, in which Blair finally said those three little words (“I love you”) only to be left behind—followed by a sneak peek of the next episode in which Chuck teeters over the edge of a building. Not only was tonight’s G.G. episode arguably the best of the season, it left behind some burning Q’s that, tragically, won’t be answered until next year. (That’s just cruel.) Lucky for you, I have answers right now… Though it might not seem like there is much hope for a shiny, blissed-out future for our beloved Chuck (Ed Westwick) and Blair (Leighton Meester), a reliable insider assures me, “Chuck and Blair aren’t just the Gossip Girl couple of the moment. They are the core Gossip Girl couple of the series. So you definitely will see much, much more of them in the days to come. The dance has just begun.” What did you think of tonight’s episode? Pretty great, no? What do you think is in store for Chuck and Blair, and when—if ever—do you think that mother-Chucker will say “I love you” back to his Queen? Post in the comments! What did you think of tonight’s episode? Pretty great, no? What do you think is in store for Chuck and Blair, and when—if ever—do you think that mother-Chucker will say “I love you” back to his Queen? Post in the comments! (Eonline)
The “Wipeout” set looks like the world’s largest playground. Candy-colored ramps, rope swings, slides and bouncy big balls. You know it’s a complete mirage. You know the course is treacherous, specifically designed to make runners face-plant, and that most parents wouldn’t let their kids anywhere near it. Yet from a distance, your inner adolescent wants to run straight down the launch ramp. ABC’s “Wipeout” is shot on a sprawling ranch in Santa Clarita, Calif. The crew is readying 16 hours for a second season in the summer with a new array of obstacles to trip up contestants. “We changed 95% of the course, but we kept the Big Balls,” said executive producer Matt Kunitz, referring to the show’s signature inflated obstacle. “We want it to be like ‘The Price Is Right,’ where we’re constantly changing the course but sometimes bringing back favorite games with new twists.” The secret to the show’s comedy, Kunitz said, is to avoid having contestants fall straight down. “The Big Balls — we never knew they were going to be great,” he said. “With them you get an uncontrollable fall. If somebody falls straight into the water, it’s not interesting. If somebody falls and ricochets off something, it’s funny.” This past summer, it was reality shows that were falling uncontrollably, though broadcasters didn’t find much amusing about it. “Wipeout” was the only new title to break out. Nowadays, such a success usually means that the show immediately would be drafted into service filling a slot in-season. But ABC elected to save the show until the summer — aside from counterprogramming the Super Bowl on Feb. 1. “I prefer that,” Kunitz said. “We don’t want to burn out. We did 39 hours of ‘Fear Factor’ one year. I’d rather have 16 hours and run for many years.” Another shakeup for the second season: no helmets, so viewers can better see contestants’ faces. When asked if that means increasing the danger, Kunitz said the softness of the course’s surfaces prevents the sort of injuries a helmet protects against. “We spend hundreds of thousands on foam,” he said. “This is like nothing that wouldn’t happen in a backyard game of touch football.” Still, insuring the contestants isn’t cheap. The company pays roughly $2,000 to insure each person who runs the course. “Wipeout” may not look it to the casual viewer, but it’s one of the more expensive reality shows on television. Along with the equipment, there’s a special effects crew, stunt team, medical team — 300 people working on the series. “Any stunt show is expensive, but we’re still one-third the cost of a scripted show,” Kunitz said. The show’s success has had one potential spoiler — a lawsuit from a Japanese broadcaster claiming that the format for “Wipeout” was knocked off from several previous obstacle-course programs, shows that air in the U.S. under the titles “MXC” on Spike TV and “Ninja Warrior” on G4. Kunitz points out he and fellow executive producer Scott Larsen’s background producing shows such as “Real World-Road Rules Challenge,” “Dog Eat Dog” and “Fear Factor” — all series with physical competitions. “I challenge you to find producers who have more experience doing stunt-based shows.” Kunitz said. “We thought it was time to bring back a show like ‘Fear Factor,’ only more family oriented, and that became ‘Wipeout.’ I don’t believe anybody can claim to own the idea of doing an obstacle course.” (Hollywood Reporter)
A terrible fall season at NBC is forcing the network to consider scaling back the number of hours it airs programming, Chief Executive Jeff Zucker told an investor conference. While NBC will continue to fund the creation of pilots, Zucker told analysts at a media investor conference sponsored by UBS on Monday that NBC is considering cutting the number of hours or perhaps even the number of nights it provides programming. “Can we continue to program 22 hours of prime-time? Three of our competitors don’t. Can we afford to program seven nights a week? One of our competitors doesn’t,” Zucker said. “All of these questions have to be on the table. And we are actively looking at all of those questions.” Zucker’s comments came after the company last week laid off 500 employees – about 3 percent of its work force of 15,000 – as part of a plan to trim $500 million next year. Part of the problem at NBC has to do with the economic crisis and slowdown in advertising revenue in a market that is “as difficult as any we’ve seen,” Zucker said. “Businesses are just afraid to commit.” Zucker said he did not blame the poor ratings at NBC on NBC Entertainment co-chairmen Ben Silverman and Marc Graboff. “We have not had a good fall at NBC. I don’t think that’s lost on anyone,” he said, adding, “but in no way have we lost confidence in either one of them.” Zucker also said there needs to be a major change at its 10 owned-and-operated local TV stations, which have been hard-hit by a decline in advertising, especially from the auto sector. “We’re in an era where if we don’t change the models of these local TV stations, we will be newspapers, we will be car companies,” he said. “I don’t want to be a company that files for bankruptcy.” NBC was doing stronger on the cable network front, and Zucker said he expects revenues from its cable channels, which include Bravo, USA Network and MSNBC, to grow in the double-digit percentages next year. In 2009, double-digit growth in cable advertising and single-digit growth in affiliate fees will lift the division, which accounts for 60 percent of the profit at the company, a unit of General Electric Co., he said. “Every one of our cable networks … are going to enjoy their best year ever this year both from a financial standpoint and a ratings standpoint,” Zucker said. “We believe that will again be the case in 2009.” (Daily Record)
DirecTV hasn’t felt a hit from the economic downturn but is playing it safe nonetheless due to an uncertain outlook for economy and financial markets. The satellite TV giant has instituted a hiring freeze and focused capital spending on critical projects amid the downturn, Jonathan Rubin, senior VP financial planning and investor relations, said here Tuesday. Speaking at the UBS Global Media and Communications Conference, he said “to date the economy has not had a material impact on our business.” He added that the company remains “bullish” on 2009 despite the weaker economy and “quite bullish” on its subscriber gross additions momentum in 2009. Churn, or customer turnover, will go a touch higher for the current fourth quarter, but churn for all of 2008 will end below 2007 levels, he added. Nonetheless, Rubin warned it would be “naive” to assume a sharp downturn couldn’t affect business momentum down the line, which has led DirecTV to freeze its headcount and focus on the most important capital spending projects. For example, the company will launch a new satellite, DirecTV 12, in 2009, bringing its national HD channel offering to 200, Rubin said. But another launch has been pushed back because of the uncertain economic outlook. (Hollywood Reporter)
U.K. satellite TV giant BSkyB sees opportunities to more aggressively market to cost-conscious consumers in this economic downturn. The company, controlled by News Corp., is looking to push the value of bundled services, CFO Andrew Griffith said here Tuesday at the annual UBS Global Media and Communications Conference. TV customers who also sign up for broadband services from the company can save more than 200 pounds ($296) per year, and call center staff getting rings from users asking for savings will highlight this opportunity, he said. Griffith also argued that content is key in a downturn. “Great content is more important than ever at a time when customers spend more time at home,” he told the UBS crowd. Later, he also said TV viewing seems to have increased in recent weeks and months amid a deepening economic downturn. Asked about upcoming big content deal negotiations, Griffith said talks with the Premier league for U.K. soccer rights should start in the first quarter. BSkyB has a three-year deal through mid-2010 for four Premier league packages out of the league’s six. Setanta holds the other two. Griffith called the soccer rights “an important piece of content” and said it “drives value for our customers.” He didn’t comment further on how aggressively BSkyB could bid for the rights. Asked about a possible play for broadband TV and telephony provider Tiscali, he wouldn’t comment in detail, but said BSkyB takes a “pretty skeptical gaze” at any potential broadband acquisition, arguing the company can meet its goals alone. For any broadband deal to make sense, “you’d have to believe there are real, tangible synergies,” Griffith said. He signaled that the potential upside to Tiscali’s reach could be attractive. Griffith also touted BSkyB’s HD offerings, which now amount to 29 channels and more than 11,000 hours of programming per month, he said. That’s 40 times the amount offered by cable competitors, he added. Griffith argued there is more HD upside given that only 7% of customers currently subscribe to HD services. Other areas of potential future growth are bundled services and the digital switchover. Only 12% of BSkyB users take TV, broadband and telephony services, the CFO said. The digital switchover by the end of 2012 means that up to 3.3 million analog-only TV users will be up for grabs, and BSkyB expects to win its share of those, Griffith said. (Hollywood Reporter)
TODAY’S IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION . . . (Mike Butts Creative)
Q. There are 2 of these for every Man, Woman and Child in the USA?
A. Radios
TODAY’S QUOTE (By Helen Gahagan Douglas)
“CHARACTER ISN’T INHERITED. ONE BUILDS IT DAILY BY THE WAY ONE THINKS AND ACTS, THOUGHT BY THOUGHT, ACTION BY ACTION.”
MIND BOGGLERS . . . (QuickTrivia)
Q. In the 1970’s, who famously wore Beauty Mist pantyhose in TV ads?
A. Muhammad Ali
B. Burt Reynolds
C. Joe Namath ****
D. Paul Newman
Q. What is a doggerel?
A. Weapon
B. Poem ****
C. Instrument
D. Tree
Q. What is the name of the green-shag ogre that is the Philadelphia Phillies’ mascot?
A. Slider
B. Billy the Marlin
C. The Phanatic ****
D. Sluggrrr
Q. Matt Frewer played Max Headroom, but he also provided the first-ever voice for which pussy cat?
A. Felix the Cat
B. Pink Panther ****
C. Fritz the Cat
D. Garfield
Q. What band recorded the 1978 hit album: “Briefcase full of Blues”?
A. Rockitfile
B. Blue Attitude
C. Legal Reasons
D. The Blues Brothers ****
Q. What predominantly Moslem country has a Hindu eagle as its national emblem?
A. Nepal
B. Pakistan
C. Indonesia ****
D. Sri Lanka
SELF MAGAZINE . . . (December 2008)
Cities:
Cleanest Air: Tuscon AZ
Dirtiest Air: Los Angeles, CA
Cleanest Water: Colorado Springs, CO
Dirtiest Water: Philadelphia, PA
Fewest toxic Sites: Austin, TX
Most Toxic Sites: Bakersfield, CA
Most Sunshine: Phoenix, AZ
Least Sunshine: Tacoma, WA
Least Depression: Nassau- Suffolk counties, NY
Most Depression: Bakersfield, CA
Least Suicides: Nassau-Suffolk Counties, NY
Most Suicides: Colorado Spring, CO
TRAVEL TIPS . . . (Peter Greenberg Worldwide)
FORAGING FOR YOUR FOOD:
If you’re looking for a culinary experience that takes you back to nature, how about foraging? Foraging means you pick the ingredients for your next meal, which guarantees that your food is fresh and local. WaterColor Inn in Northwest Florida offers a four-day foraging package for $1,500. Adventurous foodies learn how to harvest honey, go crabbing, and even try something called oyster tonging and flounder gigging. After all your hard work, chefs prepare your harvested goods into a meal for you. At the Treetops Luxury Lodge and Estate in New Zealand, a Maori [MOW-ri] chief helps you forage for edible bites along an indigenous food trail, starting at $185 per person. If you’re short on time, New York naturalist Steve Brill leads half-day tours around Central Park to help you track down edible plants such as wild garlic, sassafras and mustard greens.
(Peter Greenberg is North America’s preeminent expert on Travel. An Emmy Award-Winning writer and producer, Peter is the Travel Editor for NBC’S “TODAY SHOW,” MSNBC and CNBC. A Best-Selling author of the “Travel Detective” series and host of the nationally syndicated “Peter Greenberg Worldwide Radio Show.” Visit WWW.PETERGREENBERGWORLDWIDE.COM to learn more about Peter Greenberg and his adventures.)
MIKE BUTTS CREATIVE . . .
EMERGENCY JOKEBOX:
HOW MANY STAND- UP COMICS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE—THEY JUST STEAL SOMEBODY ELSE’S LIGHT! J
GOT A G.P.S.- COOL: J
MY WIFE GOT ME A MAGELLEN GPS FOR MY BIRTHDAY—ITS VERY COOL! GREAT DETAILS—YOU CAN SEE THE ROUTE AS YOU DRIVE—A VOICE TELLS
YOU WHEN A TURN IS COMING UP—IT TELLS YOU WHEN TO TURN WITH A VOICE AND A CHIME—AND EVEN HAS HELPFUL LITTLE “ICONS” ON EACH
ROUTE TELLING YOU WHAT’S COMING UP—LIKE A LITTLE “$ DOLLAR SIGN FOR A BANK—A GAS PUMP FOR A GAS STATION—TO LET YOU KNOW THE
ROAD HAS A LIQUOR STORE IT HAS A LITTLE ICON OF A MAN HOLDING A BOTTLE IN A BROWN PAPER BAG AND STUMBLING ALL OVER—IT LOOKS
LIKE MEL GIBSON. J
I PASSED BY_______________GOLF COURSE AND THE LEFT SIDE OF THE GPS SCREEN LIT UP GREEN.
IT’S SO ACCURATE THAT YOU TEND NOT TO LOOK AT THE SCREEN—YOU JUST TRUST THE VOICE AND DO WHAT IT TELLS YOU!
THAT’S FINE WHEN EVERYTHING IS OK–BUT WHAT IF YOUR GPS BECAME POSSESSED LIKE HAL 9000 IN 2001.( Twilight zone Sign Post Up Ahead)
ACCELERATE TO 100 MILES PER HOUR!! Wheeee- That WAS FUN—slam on the brakes!!! Put your left foot in—put your left foot out-do the Hokey Pokey and move it all
about—WHAT IF SATAN GOT AHOLD OF IT? TURN INTO ONCOMING 18 WHEELER.
BIRTHDAYS . . .
—1830 Poet Emily Dickinson (d. 5-15-1886)
—1910 Actor Dennis Morgan (21 Beacon Street)
—1911 News Anchor Chet Huntley (d. 3-20-1974)
—1914 Actress Dorothy Lamour (Road to Rio) (d. 9-22-1996)
—1923 Actor Harold Gould (Rhoda)
—1928 Actor Dan Blocker (Bonanza) (d. 5-13-1972)
—1941 Actor Tom Rettig (Lassie) (d. 2-15-1996)
—1943 Musician Chad Stuart (Chad & Jeremy) (“Yesterday’s Gone”)
—1946 Actress/Singer Gloria Loring (“Friends and Lovers”)
—1946 Musician Walter Orange (The Commodores) (“Easy”)
—1948 Musician Ralph Tavares (Tavares) (“Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel”)
—1951 Musician Frank Beard (ZZ Top)
—1952 Actress Susan Dey (L.A. Law)
—1954 Musician Jack Hues (Wang Chung)
—1956 Actor/Comedian Sinbad (First Kid)
—1958 Musician/Producer Paul Hardcastle (19)
¾1958 Singer Tim Lawter (Marshall Tucker Band) (“Can’t You See”)
—1959 Basketball’s Mark Aguirre
—1960 Singer Pepsi Demacque (Pepsi & Shirlie)
—1960 Actor Kenneth Branagh (Henry V)
—1961 Singer/Actress Nia Peeples (“Fame”)
THIS DAY IN HISTORY . . .
Today is HUMAN RIGHTS DAY. This is also HUMAN RIGHTS WEEK.
—1817 Mississippi became the 20th state. The state capital is Jackson, their state flower is magnolia.
—1869 Wyoming became the first state in the union to allow women to vote and hold public office. According to historians, it had less to do with equal rights than with attracting female settlers, since there was a big shortage of women in the state. (A state where men are men and the sheep are nervous).
—1898 The US and Spain signed a treaty ending the Spanish-American War. Cuba got its independence … more or less . . . and the US got Puerto Rico and the Philippines.
—1907 University of Chicago professor Albert Michelson, known for his research on the speed of light and optics, became the first US scientist to receive the Nobel Prize.
—1927 The “WSM Barn Dance” officially becomes the Grand Ole Opry.
—1946 The first Toys for Tots Campaign organized
—1955 TV premiere of “The Mighty Mouse Playhouse” on CBS.
—1958 National Airlines inaugurated the first commercial passenger jet service in America, between NY and Miami.
—1959 The four male members of the Platters are acquitted of lewdness and abetting prostitution charges. Despite the exoneration, negative publicity does irreparable damage to the group’s career.
—1960 Elvis Presley’s “G.I. Blues” album enters the British album chart at number one within a few days of its release.
—1960 Walt Disney’s movie “Swiss Family Robinson” was released in movie theaters.
—1962 The Alan Freed payola trial begins in NY. He eventually pleads guilty to accepting $2000 for airplay but is fined only $300 and receives six months probation.
—1963 Six-year-old Donny Osmond made his signing debut on the Andy Williams Show.
—1964 Dr. Martin Luther King becomes the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize
—1964 Lorne Greene’s song “Ringo” is a top 5 hit.
—1966 “Good Vibrations” by the Beach Boys is the top single in the US.
—1967 Otis Redding (b. 9/9/41) and four members of the Bar-Kays are killed in a plane crash near Madison, WI.
—1976 Paul McCartney releases “Wings Over America.”
—1984 Band – Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas” is released.
—1988 Aerobic Beat magazine names its top workout songs: Tiffany – “I Saw Him Standing There,” Escape Club – “Wild Wild West,” Michael Jackson – “The Way You Make Me Feel”
—1988 “Look Away” by Chicago peaked at #1 on the pop singles chart.
—1991 “Hook” starring Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts and directed by Steven Spielberg opened in theaters.
¾2007 Actor Chris O’Donnell (b. 6-26-1970) & wife Caroline welcomed their 5th child into the world. Maeve Francis was born on this date in Los Angeles., joining her sister Lily and 3 brothers.
RADIO ONLINE® DAILY SHOW PREP™ . . .
ON THIS DAY
On this date in 1520, Martin Luther burned a papal edict… although he blamed the dog.
In 1869, Wyoming gave women the right to vote. It was cheaper than actually buying each one a gift. On this date in 1898, the Spanish-American war ended… except in parts of Los Angeles.
In 1958, the first commercial jet flight took passengers from New York to Miami… and luggage from New York to Pittsburgh.
TODAY IS
Michael Clarke Duncan turns 45 today. He’s a big dude. We wouldn’t be surprised if someday, he applied for statehood. Actually, he was born on December 10th, 11th and 12th. Big baby. Singer Nia Peeples turns 47 today. You know, people who need Peeples are the luckiest people in the world.
Susan Dey turns 56 today. She started out her career with “The Partridge Family,” which was tough. You try sitting in a pear tree all the time.
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW
· Dennis Yost, lead singer of the Classics IV (“Spooky,” “Stormy” and “Traces of Love”) has died in an Ohio hospital. He was 65. Yost died Sunday at Fort Hamilton Hospital in Hamilton, northwest of Cincinnati.
· The brother of Mark Ruffalo has died a week after he was shot in the head. Scott Ruffalo, 39, died late Monday night at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.
· Cancer will overtake heart disease as the world’s top killer by 2010. Why? Rising tobacco use in developing countries is believed to be a huge reason for the shift, particularly in China and India, where 40% of the world’s smokers now live.
· In case you missed it, NBC’s current plan is to move Jay Leno to 10pm (9pm central) five nights a week, when Conan O’Brien takes over the Tonight Show in May.
· One of the hot sellers in Japan these days: bras for men. To help support their man-boobs.
· According to the American Journal of Preventive Medicine only 59% of high schoolers buckle up when they’re behind the wheel, and even fewer, 42% do so when they’re passengers, reports a recent study.
· The big controversy in London tonight will be a televised assisted suicide. A terminally ill man will be shown ending his own life.
· Kiefer Sutherland got his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday.
· Josh Holloway, who plays Sawyer on ABC’s Lost, and wife Yessica Kumala are expecting their first child together in 2009.
· Oprah has confessed: she now tips the scales at 200 pounds.
· A group is organizing “Day without a Gay,” to show the impact of how much our world depends on gay people. To demonstrate that point, today is the day you’re supposed to “call in gay” to work. (instead of sick)
· Men in their 40s and 50s who eat seven or more eggs a week have a higher risk of dying earlier, according to a 20-year study by researchers at Brigham and Women’s Hospital and Harvard Medical School.
· While everyone’s talking about Caroline Kennedy filling Hillary Clinton’s senate seat, Fran Drescher has said in an interview that she’d be interested.
CONVERSATION STARTERS
The most dreaded holiday gift is a necktie. According to a survey conducted by Opinion Research Corporation on behalf of eBay, neckties are the gift men most dread, with 24% ranking them as their least wanted holiday gift. Coming in right behind are flowers (12%) and candles (8%). Here’s the top 5 most desired gifts:
1. Gift cards — So what’s the most desired gift this holiday season? It’s the one people choose themselves. 64% ranked gift cards at the top of their wish list.
2. Consumer Electronics — And for men, bigger is still better. More men than women reported that they would prefer to receive bigger personal electronics items this holiday season, such as a high-definition TV (20%), LCD TV (10%) and Blu-ray DVD player (7%). More women said they favor compact gadgets like a digital or video camera (26%) or iPod (9%). In addition, 26% they wanted a laptop computer.
3. A Passion for Fashion — 48% said they would most like to receive apparel, with jeans and a blouse or shirt at the very top of fashion fanatics’ holiday lists. Shopping for men is always hard, but you won’t go wrong if you buy the man in your life a nice pair of jeans. That’s right, more men than women want jeans this holiday season (24%of men vs. 16% of women).
4. Games — Of those who indicated they most want a gaming system for the holidays, 44% want a Nintendo system (with 43% wanting a Wii), while only 33% a Sony system (with 31% wanting a PS3).
5. Totally cellular — Overall, the Apple iPhone is the smart phone of choice for those who indicated they would most like to receive one this holiday season (35%). The BlackBerry is also a favorite among women, with 47% of women wanting to receive one compared to just 11% of men.
Feminists are protesting a new line of sexy lingerie equipped with GPS tracking devices. “It’s outrageous to think that men can buy this, program it, give it to their partners and then monitor them,” fumes women’s rights activist Claudia Burghart. “It’s really nothing more than a chastity belt for insecure men.” Brazilian designer Lucia Lorio, who created the controversial outfit of lace bodice, bikini panties, faux pearl collar and GPS unit, claims the high tech undies could take a bite out of crime. “some women are not interested in buying it for protection,” she says. “In London, New York, Rio de Janeiro wherever there’s danger, the underwear may prove to be a lifesaver.” (Sun)
Close that crime novel and turn off scary TV shows. Thinking about death makes you anxious, which can cause you to eat more, according to new research. Volunteers who wrote essays about death consumed 25% more cookies than those who wrote about a less terrifying topic. Overindulging in food helps many escape dark thoughts, possibly because the physical sensation of chewing is distracting, says study coauthor Naomi Mandel, associate professor of marketing at W.P. Carey School of Business. (Family Circle)
PHONE TOPICS
· How about that time you got pulled over by the police and DIDN’T get a ticket?
· If I ask about the coolest Christmas present you ever got, what would that be?
· What are you asking Santa for this year?
· Will you watch Jay Leno at his new 10pm slot?
· What’s the dumbest photo that someone can find of you online?
· What’s the very worst disaster your kid ever created?
· Who’s the one relative that drives you nuts? (yeah, only one)
· “I’m stuck” stories?
· Who is the one actor that should just give it up? Who is your favorite leading man or leading lady?
· Stars you met backstage, or on the street, that were jerks?
· What music CD of your spouse’s do you want to destroy?
· The last thing he did that he thought was romantic but really wasn’t?
· Shaving accidents? Men and women knicking themselves while shaving and having a date or a job interview, etc. Lots of embarrassing stories.
· Disclosure in marriages? Have you told your spouse about everyone you’ve been with before them? Sexually obviously.
· What secret have you sat on long enough that NOW you can tell?
How do you think Obama is doing with the transition? Nearly eight in 10 Americans questioned in a CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey out this week are giving the president-elect the thumbs up when it comes to his handling of the transition. Seventy-nine percent approve of Obama’s performance so far during transition, with 18 percent disapproving. Obama’s approval rating is 14 points higher than the approval rating for President-elect George Bush in 2001 and 17 points higher than President-elect Clinton’s rating in 1992.
Is it more important than ever to buy American? My cohost and I talked about how the media is not pushing the story of buying American during our down turn in the economy. How come no one is talking about this? I think some people have just accepted the fact that other countries can make cars better than we can. Are we just rolling over and hoping for a miracle? What do you think?
Occasionally, I let a four letter word slip in front of my two-year old. I forgot that she repeats everything I say. So, to the phones we go. We asked what people use instead of the traditional four-letter fare. Some of our more honorable mentions included: “great-googly noogly,” “Hassennpheffer,” “alakazam” and “Frik & Frak,” my personal favorite.
A friend of mine left for a vacation last week and I was surprised to find out she’s terrified of flying. She’s a strong, confident woman so when she first mentioned it to me, I immediately launched into an ad-lib that was designed to make it worse. It wasn’t until she burst out crying that my little male mind realized that was a mistake and then I was committed to being a therapist and cheerleader. On the upside, it did provide us with a topic! We took calls from people who were also scared to fly and tried to pick their minds to find out why and what they did to deal with it. The most common approach seemed to be drink a lot. It also brought up the question of why we (mostly male, I think) enjoy teasing someone when they admit a fear.
Do you fight over the remote? Seriously fight? Do you constantly fight over which channel you watch in your house? How do you decide when you watch what?
Phoner: Anyone look forward to their holiday office party? Everyone I know doesn’t seem to like going. But, if you must, here’s how you can survive your corporate holiday get-together. (from Karen Grigsby Batesis of NPR News)
· Talk about your silver linings! It doesn’t matter whether you’re treated to a five-course dinner at a spiffy restaurant or Cheez Whiz on Ritz crackers “what happens at the office holiday party can affect your professional life well into the next year. To keep yourself out of the minefield that’s packaged as holiday merriment, remember: The important word in the phrase “office holiday party” is office. In other words, it’s still work, just in dressier clothes and with liquor.
· Do I Have To Go? It’s work, remember? And if you work in a place where you’re One of the Few (that’s anything that represents the non-majority in your office), your absence will be duly noted. So mark your calendar and plan to be there. It’s what, maybe four hours out of your life? So go, already; you’ll probably enjoy it more than you think you will.
· What Do I Wear? Dress festively, but not the same way you would for a night out on the town with your friends. If you’ve worked hard at the gym all year and want to show off your new form, do it in a dress that’s pretty but not provocative.
· Who Do I Bring? If you’re allowed to bring a guest, bring someone who will enjoy meeting your colleagues and who will be discreet enough to remember the gossip you’ve shared while connecting the dots mentally, rather than out loud.
· Can I Drink? Sure”as long as you drink very modestly and make your drink last a very long time. Some people self-impose a two-drink maximum. We all know that interesting, sometimes disastrous, things happen when office politics mixes with liberal quantities of alcohol. Far better to drink less and be one of the people who remembers the fool who re-created the Madonna-Britney smooch on the dance floor with the boss’s wife, instead of being one of the smoochers in question.
· What If Someone Says or Does Something That’s Totally Out? Repeat: Alcohol and office politics are a dangerous mixture.
· Do I Have To Stay Till The End? Usually, no. If you arrive at the end of drinks, stay for dinner and quietly slip away soon after, you’ve done your duty. (If people beg you to stay, you can always murmur something about needing to relieve the babysitter if you have children, or breakfast with out-of-town friends the next day.) Whenever you’re back in the office, remember to thank whoever was responsible for the evening.
December is actually the sixth-busiest month for dining out, according to the National Restaurant Association. (August is tops). But the crowds — and people’s patience — seem to be at their tipping point this time of year. Do you have any tips or tricks on getting a table at a busy restaurant? A friend of mine, always says her friend is Diabetic and that she needs food fast. She says it works sometimes.
What does your woman bring up on an annual basis or whenever her latent anger is triggered? Tell the ladies they should thank us for forgetting everything, because otherwise we’d be fighting all the time. Forgetting is just our way of letting go.
Do women still feel a lot of pressure if they’re not married by a certain age? Our calls indicated that’s still a problem, depending on what your family is like. Anyone’s parents just finally give up? Ladies, any advice for other women dealing with this, or the when are you going to have a baby pressure?
We received a listener letter about a little boy that liked to play dress up in a ballerina tutu. Should little boys be able to play dress up (and dress like girls). And what about little boys who ask Santa for an Easy Bake Oven! Is this strange for a little boy to be ask for girl toys, or do all little boys go through a period where they want “girl toys?”
Have you ever snooped in your spouse’s diary? What did you find? Anyone find out about a secret lover by snooping in the diary? Did you approach them about it?
Christmas by the numbers (Source: U.S. Postal Service):
· 19 billion letters, packages and cards the U.S. Postal Service expects to deliver between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
· 960 million cards and letters the postal service expects to process on its busiest day – Monday, Dec. 15.
· 826 million first-class letters the postal service expects to process daily during the holiday season, up from the usual 700 million daily.
· 12 million packages the postal service expects to deliver daily on average through Christmas Eve.
U.S. Postal Service holiday shipping deadlines:
· Dec. 4: Military mail destined for Iraq or Afghanistan.
· Dec. 11: Military mail to other international destinations.
· Dec. 16: Parcel post, the most economical service.
· Dec. 20: First class and priority mail.
· Dec. 23: Express mail.
My co-host wears a lot of jewelry. As we were discussing it, we started getting calls from gals and guys who had even more on. We talked to a lady wearing 24 pieces including 9 toes rings, 12 rings on her fingers and a triple tongue piercing.
What kind of weird things do you do around the holidays? Do you wait until Christmas Eve to buy your tree? Does Santa wrap your presents or does he leave them out on Christmas morning? Tell us about your crazy holiday rituals.
Crappy Christmas movies? We opened up the phones to take calls on crappy Christmas movies – just to bring a little scrooge into the mix. It was fun and a nice break from all that holiday cheer! Bah! Humbug!
What’s in your wallet? You know… it’s the hook line from those credit card commercials. Have people call in and tell you what’s in their wallet. But start with yourself first. This can be hilarious.
The only thing a diary is good for is getting you in trouble. My co-host left her diary out on her nightstand and worried all morning that her boyfriend would read it. Of course he’s gonna read it! Would you? Good mix of calls.
WEIRD NEWS
The Upside To a Nagging Wife
Sometimes — and we emphasize sometimes — a nagging wife can be a good thing. In Auckland, New Zealand, one man’s nagging wife led him to a $4.2 million dollar lottery win! He said, “My wife had been nagging me all week to get a ticket, so I when saw the Lotto sign I sprinted in to get the ticket before they closed.” He just made it — making his lottery ticket purchase just two minutes before the deadline. He added that the young married couple had had a “rough” couple of years, reduced to just one income after having children and said, “I have never been so glad to listen to my wife’s nagging.” (myway.com)
Really Bad Smugglers
29-year-old Gypsy Lawson and her mother, 55-year-old Fran Ogren of Spokane, Washington, have been convicted in federal court after the worst smuggling idea we’ve ever heard. Gypsy had sedated a rhesus monkey she got while in Thailand and tried to smuggle the animal into the United States by hiding it under her blouse and pretending to be pregnant. She actually made it through U.S. Customs in Los Angeles after a trip to Bangkok but the monkey was later discovered. The two women were found guilty on separate charges of conspiracy and smuggling goods into the United States. The monkey is now at a primate rescue facility in Oregon. Hey — you name your kid Gypsy — what do you expect! (The Spokesman-Review)
For the Person Who Has Everything
Got somebody extra hard to shop for on your list this holiday season? Here’s something you can be assured they don’t have. Purdue University is auctioning the naming rights to seven newly discovered bats and two turtles. Winning bidders will be able to link a relative, friend or themselves to an animal’s scientific name for the ages. The winning bids will be announced just before Christmas and John Bickham, a Purdue professor who discovered or co-discovered the nine species, said he expects the auctions to attract wide interest. He added, “Unlike naming a building or something like that, this is much more permanent. This will last as long as we have our society.” (myway.com)
It’s the Principle!
63-year-old Simon Belsky, a retired electrical hardware firm vice president, says he spent $7,500 fighting a $115 parking ticket because– he’s got “nothing else to do.” Belsky insists he was erroneously ticketed two years ago for blocking a Brooklyn fire hydrant even though the only hydrant on the street was down the block. The November 2006 fine has ballooned from $115 to about $200 with penalties. Belsky was in court last week and is due back February 2. He says if he wins he’ll file a civil suit against the city to recover the $7,500 he’s spent on legal work. But he also says he’ll donate any compensation he’s awarded to educational programs. (New York Post)
Nebraska’s Butt Bandit Captured!
Relax Nebraska — the Butt Bandit is no more. Police captured 35-year-old Thomas Larvie in the act on November 19. He had a bad habit rubbing Vaseline or lotion on his backside, then leaving his greasy butt prints on the windows of stores, churches and schools since the spring of 2007. He’s now been sentenced to 13 1/2 months in jail. The townspeople of Valentine, Nebraska, where the crimes took place, had dubbed the Larvie the “Butt Bandit” even though no theft was involved. (myway.com)
The Latest Virgin Mary Sighting
You might say Pamela Latrimore of Fort Pierce, Florida, has the Virgin Mary on the brain. She claims an MRI scan of her brain clearly shows the image of the Virgin Mary and now plans to sell that scan to help pay her rising medical costs. Latrimore has been sick for years with cancer, arthritis and a series of serious ailments she blames on a childhood in Jacksonville, Arkansas, a place that has been investigated by the U.S. government for possible dioxin exposure. Dioxin is a toxic chemical linked to a variety of illnesses including cancer and liver problems. The MRI scan is from 2002 and was stashed in her thick pile of medical records. Her sister-in-law looked at the sheet recently and pointed out what appeared to be the image of the Virgin Mary. (TC Palm)
An Empty Nest Can Be Good For Your Marriage!
According to a new study by the University of California Berkeley’s Institute of Personality & Social Research says that having an empty nest may work wonders for your marriage! The study was based on the marriage of 100 women and the different stages they went through such as early married life, child-rearing and separations. Not surprisingly, the availability of their time for their spouse after the children left home helped improve their marriage. UC Berkeley psychology professor Oliver John, co-author of the report which was published in journal Psychological Science, advised couples not to wait for their children to leave home before they start including in their schedule quality time as a couple. (AHN News)
MATCH THE MOUTH
“Everyone’s got an opinion. I wish they didn’t. I’ve gotten to the point where, if I focus on all that stuff, I won’t make a move, you know?”
· Oprah
· Michelle Obama
· Britney Spears
· Madonna
· Jennifer Aniston ***
“Man years ago, I was fishing and as I was reeling in the poor fish, I realized… as I watched him fight for breath, that his life was as important to him as mine is to me!”
· David Duchovney
· Samuel L. Jackson
· Greg Kinnear
· Paul McCartney ***
· Tara Reid
“In 47 years they haven’t made many mistakes with the James Bond franchise. They’re clever enough to sense a trend. And the trend right now is for hard, gritty Bond.”
· Timothy Dalton
· Daniel Craig
· Roger Moore ***
· Sean Connery
· Pierce Brosnan
TOP FIVE FIRST DRAFTS OF FAMOUS CHRISTMAS SONGS
1. “Jingle Beers”
2. “Do you smell what I smell?”
3. “Santa Claus is Coming to An All-Inclusive Club”
4. “O Little Town of Twisp, Washington”
5. “It came upon an 11pm Clear”
HUNTER’S HUMOR by Tim Hunter
President-elect Barack Obama met with Al Gore on Tuesday. Al reminded him that he invented meetings.
It was the first time that Gore had meant with Obama since the election and the first time EVER that he had met with someone who legitimately won in Florida.
McDonald’s is reporting that in spite of the bad economy, sales were up last month. In a related story, GM announced that effective immediately, they’re going to start making all of their cars out of bread, meat and grease.
18-year-old Emma Watson says she would go naked in a movie IF it was the right part. And frankly, for being naked on camera, the right parts are really all that matter.
WHAT’S YOUR NATURAL ELEMENT?
(Sun) Ancient Chinese teaching say that each of us is influenced by one of the natural elements – wind, fire, earth or water. Discover where your power lies by completing this short quiz:
Your favorite color for your bedroom is:
a. White
b. Rose
c. Gray
d. Sky blue
You prefer to read a:
a. Novel
b. Newspaper
c. Self-improvement book
d. Fashion magazine
When friends come over for dinner, you:
a. Have them help cook
b. Serve a sit down meal
c. Set up a buffet of favorite foods
d. Ask everyone to bring a dish
The type of TV show you enjoy watching is:
a. Comedy
b. Mystery
c. Home improvement
d. Reality
Analysis
Mostly “a” – The wind element is the inspiration for your imaginative way of dealing with problems. You would excel in a job that demands creative abilities such as design.
Mostly “b” – The fire element gives you the confidence and passion to meet challenges head on. And that take charge attitude makes you a natural at running your own business.
Mostly “c” – The earth element encourages you to see life in practical, sensible terms. Your ability to offer solid advice makes you a shoo-in for a position where you can help others.
Mostly “d” – The water element makes you flexible and laid back and your live and let live approach is the perfect outlook for a position as a mediator who brings others together.
10 DUMBEST JOB-INTERVIEW MOVES
“What is the wackiest or most unusual pitch you’ve heard from a job seeker about why he or she should get the job?” Here are the top ten from job hunters:
1. “…told me to hire him because he was allergic to unemployment.”
2. “… said that we should hire him because he would make a great addition to our softball team.”
3. “…said he should get the job because he had already applied three times and he felt that it was now his turn to be hired.”
4. “…said we had nice benefits, which was good because he was going to have to take a lot of leave in the coming year.”
5. “… drafted a press release announcing that we had hired him.”
6. “… explained that he had no relevant experience for the job he was interviewing for, but his friend did.”
7. “… delivered his entire cover letter in the form of a rap song.”
8. “…told me she wanted the position because she wanted to get away from working with people.”
9. “…brought his mother to the interview and let her do all the talking.”
10. “…when our company moved to Texas, gave us his resume in a ten-gallon hat.”
FIGURE SKATING
Put like the 10 men in a sports bar and have them watch figure skating on the big screen TV. Have them all act like they’re watching the Final Four or the Super Bowl, getting nuts. Then record the people who walk in and don’t know it’s a joke.
FIVE-SPOT CONTEST
Your listeners have a five dollar bill. Have them come up with a list of items they can buy that total up to exactly $5.00. The best sounding list wins.
HEADLINE TRUTH OR TRASH
“Italian Group Pays Parents To Name New Babies Mussolini!”
Truth! An extremist political party in Italy is actually offering the equivalent of about $2,000 U.S. dollars to parents willing to name their babies after wartime fascist dictator Benito Mussolini or his wife Rachele, saying their names are under threat of extinction. If you’ve forgotten your history, Mussolini ruled Italy from 1922 to 1943 but was executed after leading Italy to ruin by entering World War Two as an ally of Germany. A sick idea yes — but secretly it’s fun to say “Baby Mussolini” in your best Italian accent!
“Governor of Illinois Having Going Out of Business Sale!”
Trash! Too late. Business closed.
“Woman Calls Police After Husband Takes Viagra!”
Truth! In Palermo, Italy, 69-year-old Carla di Stefano called police after her 82-year-old husband, Giovanni, took Viagra! Carla said he was so excited she thought he would have a heart attack. Giovanni kind of lost the mood after the police arrived.
“Oprah Trying Orange Food Diet!”
Trash! She tried that. Kept saying, “Orange you hungry? I am!”
“Police Arrest Two Drunk Drivers From Same Car!”
Truth! Police on Long Island say it’s a first — pulling over two drunk drivers from the same car! Apparently they watched one woman miserably trying to make a three-point turn. When she failed she switched places with a male passenger, who took the steering wheel and completed the turn while not wearing a seat belt. Police eventually pulled them over and discovered both were intoxicated.
“Bearded Ladies Offended by Britney’s New Circus Video!”
Trash! Oh, they think the video is OK. They just think she’s a freak!”
“Man Attacks Father With Christmas Tree!”
Truth! Not much Christmas spirit for a 37-year-old Parrish, Florida man who lives with his parents and was arrested after attacking his father with a Christmas tree! He allegedly threw a 3-foot Christmas tree at his father and then tried to use the steel base from the tree to strike his dad. Both mom and dad then grabbed his arms to prevent further attacks until police arrived.
“Fox Network to Ask for Federal Bailout!”
Trash! No worries. Jack Bauer will take care of them… and in 24 hours!”
“Condolezza Rice Plays Piano For the Queen!”
Truth! Our out going Secretary of State was the star of a piano recital for Britain’s Queen Elizabeth herself. Madame Secretary is actually an accomplished concert level pianist and played a piece by Brahms, and was joined by three members of the London Symphony Orchestra. Maybe we should call her Condo-Liberace Rice!
MAXIM’S DIRTY JOBS
Not only is your job unbelievably tedious; it’s also fraught with untold hidden dangers. Check this out:
· Job Security — You have a 1-in-33 chance of losing your job in the next year. Bonus: The unemployed are more than twice as likely to commit suicide.
· Paper — Chemicals in carbonless copy paper can cause skin irritation, itchy eyes and labored breathing. Not to mention painful paper cuts.
· Fluorescent Lights — Insufficient natural light can result in abnormal sleep patterns, depression, weight gain and decreased sex drive. Like marriage, but brighter.
· Typing — Repetitive stress disorders like carpal tunnel syndrome affect 250,000 whiny assholes each year. That’s nearly half of all on-the-job “illnesses.”
· Laser Pointers — Momentary eye contact can cause temporary blindness, and prolonged exposure leads to permanent cornea damage. But it’s still funny.
· Printers — The carbon powder inside toner cartridges can cause emphysema, bronchitis, cancer and even ruined blouses!
· Water Coolers — Parched? Nearly a third of all bottled water contains potentially dangerous bacteria, like colon-liquefying cryptoporidium. Cheers.
· Violence — There are two million assaults and 7,000 homicides in the workplace each year. Still want to fire that creepy Ukrainian mailroom guy?
· Envelopes — Ever wonder why you’re supposed to “moisten” rather than lick? The delicious acetate glue hasn’t been approved for human consumption.
· Ventilation systems — The recirculated air in a typical office building can contain the fumes from as many as 350 volatile chemicals — just like your breath.
· Bathrooms — Just about every office in America has at least one greasy employee who fumigates the john with a noxious egg curry.
· Retirement Funds — Employers are repeatedly caught “borrowing” cash from their employees’ 401(k) accounts. Enjoy your retirement in debtor’s prison.
GORSEFEATHERS by Patrick Gorse
I guess you’ve heard the big story about Jay Leno. He’ll be staying with NBC — but with a new show at 10pm. NBC couldn’t make up their minds whether they should can Jay or keep him…so they decided to can Jay AND keep him.
Jay Leno will be leaving his 11:35 P.M. time slot to start a new show at ten o’clock. Which means, to get drunk enough to laugh at his jokes, you’re going to have to start drinking at 3:25.
I tell ‘ya, the economy is in rough shape. Yesterday, the Santa Claus at Macy’s recommended I could get a better deal by shoving merchandise down my pants.
Little Emma Watson who plays young Hermione Granger in the “Harry Potter” movies says she “would go nude” in a film, but only for Italian director Bernardo Bertolucci. Asked to comment, R. Kelly said he was too busy working on an impression of Bernardo Bertolucci.
Democratic Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has been arrested and charged with trying to sell the Senate seat formerly held by Barack Obama. The voters of Illinois are shocked. Thousands of them rolled over in their graves.
Of course, Barack Obama insists he didn’t do anything illegal in the corruption case involving the sale of his former Senate seat. Obama said, “When the President-elect does it, it’s NOT illegal.”
It’s just incredible that the Governor of Illinois has been arrested and charged with attempting to sell Barack Obama’s Senate seat by the Bush Justice Department. The only words that come to mind are vile, despicable and crooked as all get out…And then there’s this problem with the Governor of Illinois…
On a Sunday morning news show–while speaking about Saddam Hussein’s supposed WMD’s, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said, “Mustard gas is not marmalade. You ought to be able to say what you did with it.” Watching the show while he was eating breakfast, President Bush said, “This toast tastes mustardy.”
The head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics told Congress last week that the latest jobs report issued by his department was the worst in 124 years. At times like this you have to look for the silver lining. For instance, I personally know five Mexican guys who say they’re going back across the border—which should open up about 500 jobs right there.
A 42-year-old Florida woman is claiming she sees an image of the Virgin Mary in an MRI taken while doctor’s performed a brain scan. Former President Bill Clinton replied, “I know just how she feels. I can’t get virgins out of my head either.”
Even as protesters waged a sit-in at a Chicago factory that was closed because the Bank of America, who’d just received a $25 billion dollar government bailout, shut down their line of credit, B of A announced it was merging with Merrill Lynch. The new financial institution will be called “Bank of Merrily Lynching America.”
General Motors took out a full-page ad on Monday in which they admitted that they “disappointed” and “betrayed” consumers–that they “violated” our trust by letting their “quality fall below industry standards,” and that they put out products that were “lackluster.” Windows Vista creator Bill Gates…it’s your move.
Talking about the proposed Big Three auto bailout on the PBS News Hour Monday night, political observer Amy Walter noted that Congress was leading on this issue and it’s not a place where President-elect Barack Obama “wants to insert himself yet.” To which Bill Clinton replied, “Oh, come on, Obama…insert yourself. I always did.”
The face of one of the famous sculptured metal lions ‘guarding’ London’s Trafalgar Square has been given a technological makeover that allows the metal beast to speak. Sportswriters in Michigan are hoping they can do the same thing with the Detroit Lions.
The face of one of the famous sculptured metal lions guarding London’s Trafalgar has been given a technological makeover that allows the beast to talk to tourists. The lion now gives tourist information to the fascinated crowds. Although, bearing a striking resemblance to Ebeneezer Scrooge’s talking lion doorknockers, descendants of Charles Dickens may sue for theft of intellectual property. Anyway, couldn’t pass this up. How ’bout them knockers?
Asked if Congress should rescue the Big Three auto companies, Alabama Senator Dick Shelby said on Monday, “I say no. Not until they show they can rescue themselves, and then we can help them.” I guess this explains why Shelby was fired from his first job as a lifeguard.
President-elect Barack Obama, who is addicted to technological gadgets like computers and Blackberries, had a meeting with Al Gore this morning. After the meeting, Gore said he was a little offended that Obama didn’t thank him for inventing the Internet.
With big corporations pulling their sports sponsorships because of the bad economy, the purses for professional golf tournaments may be scaled back. By the time Tiger Woods gets back on tour, he could be competing for the home version of The Masters… a Wal-Mart shopping spree… and a year’s supply of Turtle Wax.
TOP FIVE THINGS THAT DRIVE SANTA’S NEIGHBORS NUTS
1. Reindeer droppings on the lawn
2. “Doesn’t that guy ever work? Oh yeah, once a year!”
3. Always parking his sleigh out in the street
4. Elf keggers
5. All that hammering and sawing in the toy shop
TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU’VE BEEN DOING TOO MUCH CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
1. VISA has sent you a love note
2. You’ve got “Credit Card wrist”
3. The mall custodian knows your first name
4. Toys R Us ran out of something and called you to see if you had one
5. You even bought a gift for the door-to-door window salesman
MEN OF HONOR
What kind of a world do we live in when a bride asks, “Will you be my man of honor?” Christa Vagnozzi, senior editor of WeddingChannel.com, says, “Asking their best guy friend to be a man of honor, deciding to keep their last name and registering for their honeymoon are becoming more mainstream as brides and grooms strive to incorporate their personal style.” Here are the four new wedding traditions for the 21st century:
1. Gender-Bending Rituals — Man of honor? Best woman? Brides and grooms are no longer dismissing their best friends of the opposite sex when it comes to their wedding. In fact, according to a WeddingChannel.com poll, an overwhelming 63% of brides said that if their best friend were a guy, they would definitely ask him to be a bridesman or man of honor.
2. A Friend as the Officiant — According to a WeddingChannel.com poll, 59% of couples would be interested in having a friend or family member officiate. After all, who better to help you tie the knot than a close childhood friend or a favorite relative? Whether it’s an interfaith ceremony or one that takes place in the great outdoors, there’s nothing more intimate than opting for a friend or relative to help you say “I do.”
3. The Name Game — Don’t make any assumptions when it comes to the bride’s last name. According to the Real Weddings Survey 2007 by The Knot Wedding Network, 12% of brides don’t plan on taking their spouse’s name upon marriage. Whether it’s for professional reasons or the bride just likes her maiden name more, wedding guests should not expect to hear “I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs.” at the next wedding. Here’s a new twist: Blending the two last names to create a brand new one. A recent WeddingChannel.com poll found that 15% of brides would consider blending their last names.
4. Alternative Wedding Registries — China and crystal are so yesterday. Brides and grooms are ditching traditional registries or augmenting them with such unusual gifts as horseback riding lessons, the honeymoon, a hi-definition plasma-screen TV and even donations to their favorite charity. While most couples still register at two or three different retailers, don’t be surprised if one or more of them ends in dot com.
CHRISTMAS’ MOST WATCHED
For most Americans, Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without Rudolph, Frosty, and the rest of the Christmas movie and television-special gang. A Maritz AmeriPoll asked which movies and TV programs they would watch this holiday season and whether or not they own the video. Here’s what they said:
Movies
1. “It’s a Wonderful Life,” 49%
2. “Miracle on 34th Street,” 48%
3. “A Christmas Carol,” 47%
4. “The Santa Clause,” movies 37%
5. “A Christmas Story,” 36%
TV Specials
1. “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” 54%
2. “Frosty the Snowman,” 52%
3. “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas,” 48%
4. “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” 44%
5. “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” 40%
SECRET SANTA
Have everyone put their names in a hat folded up. Then everyone picks a piece of paper and you buy a cheap gift everyday for a week. You must be really sneaky about where and when you leave it so you don’t get caught. Then every weekday you open them and tell the listeners what you got. The last day you guess who your Secret Santa is.
THE CHRISTMAS CAROL GAME
We’ll give you the “fractured” title, you name the real Christmas Carol.
· Tiny Triumvirate (“We Three Kings”)
· K.O. The Corridors (“Deck The Halls”)
· Zero Holiday Conifer (“Oh, Christmas Tree”)
· Ad-Song Alarms (“Jingle Bells”)
· Valentino The Rosy Schnozzed Ruminant (“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”)
· Wee Tom Tom Tot (“Little Drummer Boy”)
· Detergent For The Globe (“Joy To The World”)
· Jelly Belly’s Making the Metropolis (“Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”)
TOY TEST
We picked two identical noisy toys at random off the shelves, paid for with cash dollars. Batteries bought at random. Paid for with cash dollars. Duracell in one, Energizer in the other. Turn them on at the same time and let them go. Note of caution. Think twice about using toys with two D cells. Lotta power in those suckers. Ours ran 29 hours and 3 minutes. Duracell won in our test, then we donated the toys to the Marines “Toys for Tots.”